@+e Forum Everyday Life

Every day is different In my neighborhood My little street called Heaven Where everyone is good Or so they would have us believe But grown up I know different now Take old Mrs McCartney God what a wicked cow She used to drown baby kittens Her old Tom was responsible for A big fat Ginger Tom Who used to come howling at my door So my Mum bought an Alsatian dog To sort the bloody thing out And one day he chased it out into the road When no one was about Except old Mr McGinnis, deaf and almost blind it seemed Who was still driving his Bentley Car The like of which most men dreamed He did not see dear p***y cat A running in the road Did not brake, Oh dear me P***y was squashed just like a toad
Then there was young Mr Andrews Good looking and quite flash He used to strut around the place And always seemed to have cash But never seemed to work Except he was always out at night And I found out the reason why In the next street that only had one light He used to enter houses When everyone was asleep And being a light sleep awoke A noise made me take a peep Because running frantically down the road Was Mr Andrews in a sweat and panting Being chased by a bid Rottweiler Dog Two Policemen and a passer- by which was all he would be wanting The Dog took a leap at the sight in front His teeth did make their mark with all their might A great big hole appeared in Mr Andrews trousers And his bare behind came into sight Leapt on by the Policemen handcuffed and taken away Apparently he used to burglarize at night And do sod all in the day This street of ours saw many sights That I missed when I was a boy Like Mrs Appleton and her little misdemeanou That she did enjoy
Colin the milkman, Mr Jones the Postman too name but two Was giving her more than milk we believe She would draw the front room curtains when they went in What went on we could only conceive Until one morning, one day in May About the twenty-third I think When Mr Appleton returned home early a bit worse for ware And caught them at it over the sink Out came the dogs lead with one mighty slash A yell and a scream followed shortly Out through the back door Colin did run Followed by Mr Appleton and although a bit portly Was chasing poor milkman with harm on his mind The dog-lead a swirling around in the air Followed by another scream, and another almighty yell Where Colin had been hit on the backside by Mr Appleton pretty fair Such was life in a street called Heaven Memories of my childhood days That will stay with me for the rest of my life The type of stories that are only found in television play’s Even at ten I had a lasting romance Young Jenny who was the same age as me, and lived two doors away We used to walk out and hold each other’s hand And sometimes I was invited round for tea on Sunday
But we lasted a lifetime, still together you see And many a night by the raging firelight We sit and reminisce what it was like growing up in our street And what it must be like in Heaven tonight