Fan Fiction Writers Forum If you would be so kind

Well, being as I really don't want to repost 25 chapters of a fan-fiction i'll link it here and hope some of you are kind enough to read it and throw some helpful advice my way. It's my baby, and it needs a lot of work!
It's a World of Warcraft fan-fiction that is based around a night elf and a troll. Really it digs down into getting past those racial tensions and how the main character comes to accept what is between them along with quite a few obstacles to overcome.
Link:
Thank you!