Fiction Authors Forum "Sheeee," whisper, &..

"Hi! (Nervously checking under the couch and behind doors.) My name's Charlie, or hvysmker, if you prefer.

I'm a serious fiction writer. Have, have you seen any rodents around here, droppings or chewed pencils? Especially chewed pencils, as he considers himself a famous writer. Whoooooo. That rat hasn't found me yet. He ... he chases me from site to site, intent on nibbling my poor toes.

Anyway. I ... I've been writing for about six years. Just a minute. (I just remembered the ceiling. Standing on a chair, I raise a square panel off the ceiling and, using a penlight, look around inside.) Good. No rat droppings. He ... he drives me nuts.

I need a site where I get honest, meaningful, critiques. Oscar ... that's the rat, prefers vanity sites. Everytime I find critiques, he forces me back to his favorite vanity sites. How can I survive on only an inflated ego? (Shudder.)

You don't mind if I crouch behind here, do you? I gotta rest a minute.

I have several novels, half a dozen novellas, and umpteen stories to try out, and before that rodent can find me, I hope. I really do hope, honestly, I do. *Sob!* Sniffle.

Please help me. Check out my stories. Please. Listen. Do you hear the patter of little feet? Look ... I'll see you later. That little b*****d has to sleep, sometime, I think. Do virtual rats sleep? I ... I know you can't kill them ... I've tried. *Sob!*