I Am Woman Forum 50 Ways To Dump Your Lover

Give me your 50 and let's see what the world we all come up with? It don't have to be 50, just do as many as you can.

lets see you can dump them

over e-mail
text messaging..
umm.. at a ball game
over the phone..
or you can just pick up and leave and not tell them anything..

um...lets see...
-in person(The best way in my opinion)
by email(eventhough that's kind of cruel)
By note(that's even worse)
By a singing telegram(ok. I was kidding with the last one.lol)

coffee shop
over the answering maching
email
text message
phone
in person
after sex -

haha I guess I am really twisted...

* I must have amnesia... Did you just say we had sex? Wasn't worth remembering...

* I just took out a life insurance policy on you, do you wanna come over for dinner?

* Committment? Does that have to do with a 72 Hour Hold?

* I like "open relationships"... So I expect you to spend Saturday night playing bridge with my Mom and Dad

* I ran into your ex girlfriend at the mall... No worry, it's just a dent in your car and a few broken bones

* I'm a high maintainance girl... (Hand him clippings of jewelry, houses, luxury cars, clothing, etc)

* What do you mean you're not a transvestite?!? I thought I made my preferences clear...

* Revenge is a dish best served cold (give him a big smile and make him wonder!)

* I need some space... A few thousand miles would be good (make sure his stuff is in garbage bags and is outside)

* Send him an e-mail: I Control-Alt-Delete You

* Leave a message for him with his boss at work

* Set him up on a date--with someone who is totally not his type, or send him on a date to a swinging club. Arrange the date. Make it sound like you are going out together. And leave his a*s when you get there.

* When he calls, start talking like you are the answering machine OR leave a message on the machine telling him you are dumping him

* Throw yourself a girl's night out party-- Make sure you make a big deal of inviting all your friends and dressing up. Then tell him it is a VIP Party and he is NOT invited

* I thought if I kissed a frog, I'd get a prince. You need more Dr. Scholl's

* Go to a fancy restaurant--make him pay. Order the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu and when you make a toast, dump his a*s

* Tie all his socks together--in a long chain with lots of knots. Tell him he has 30 seconds to unravel the socks or you're gonna dump him. Set a timer, watch him scramble--haha

* Leave a message on his computer screen saver

* Wear a sexy outfit to bed with perfume, the works, When he gets near you say-- Not tonight. I have a headache. You do that to me.

* Critcize the way he looks and dresses. Then insist he wear a costume--maybe an Easter Bunny or a midevil knight with tights

* Hide the remote and see how long he lasts (this works well)

* I'm looking for a long term relationship (snap on a pair of handcuffs)

* Throw a dinner party--or wait til he has his guy friends over. Hide the toilet paper. Then spike his drink with Ex Lax. While he is tied up in the bathroom, tell the company "Does he always spend this much time in the bathroom? I'm beginning to feel it is interfering with our relationship..."

* When you are in the car together, tell him: "It's an emergency! Please go to the store and get me some Maxi pads! It's an emergency!" Lay on the charm, "If You Love Me" if you have to. Wait in the car, squirming and making faces. Once he is in the store, give him a few minutes. Drive off with the car, leaving him standing there with a big ole box of pads. OR go into the store and use the intercom to call his name

* Store your make-up, underwear and girlie stuff in his work area or tool box. When he complains tell him he is taking up too much space or isn't listening or isn't being fair...

* Scrub the toilet with his toothbrush and leave it on the floor for him to find. When he says something, give him a real innocent look and say..."What, I've done it before you and didn't say anything."

Wow ... those are really good!! I'm taking notes!!

You could always just do what I do ... leave the country ... garenteed to make even the most besoted lover run after a couple months!!

I did pull the, I want to have your babies one ... unfortunatly that backfired and we've chosen baby names ... hehe good thing I don't wanna get rid of him yet!

 

 

lol....your not twisted...if you are then I'm right there with you I've done a few of these things myself...

 

~~Theta

I waited tables for 7 years.  People go to restauturants (well the kind I worked at) for one of three reasons: 1) new love 2)celebrating or 3)dumping/fighting

It never ends pretty for #3.

Moving 1000 or move miles away works very effectively.
Tell them you're into girls more than men and he's not invited, but I'll get back to you if I change my mind.
My mother is moving in (would be more effective if she were still living, of course).
Send a bouquet of dead flowers to his work with a note: "It's over.  Your belongings have been given to Goodwill."
Change the locks and never tell him.


Well that's just a few ways to think about dumping your Lover.
Julia

"But I thought you liked being a dad while still in your teens!"

"You do know I only use you as a reserve, right?"

"I'm sorry, your younger brother kisses better than you"

"I just gave your new Xbox 360 to a sweet little boy i saw on the street, I thought that now we are together, you won't need it"

Ways to dump:

~ Kick him in the balls, say "Goodbye" calmly, and walk out laughing. [to add humiliation factor, do it in a very public place]

~ If you live in a colder region: right after sex, toss him out the door, then open the nearest window and started singing Christmas carols.

~ Shove all possessions you do not want in a corner, hand him a box, and start playing  "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce Knowles. [go to skreemr.com for downloads]

~ Tell him he can no longer participate in any form of sporting activities. [Ex: watching football]

~ Cut off all beer and liquor. Tell him that from now on it will be a drink free zone.

~ Every time he pisses you off, dump a few beers down the sink. To add dramatic effect, smash every bottle and let the glass rest in the kitchen sink.

 

I'm not sure how effective these are, but I guarentee they'll get on his nerves. However, the last one has been repeatedly tried on my dad and has succeeded in breaking him in.

RE: However, the last one has been repeatedly tried on my dad and has succeeded in breaking him in.

This is worth a story! I can't wait to hear about this, Midnight :)

 

Here is another fun idea: Post flyers around the neighborhood that say "Lost Dog" or "Mutt: FREE to a Good Home" and put a picture of the bf on it

Delete all his programs that are stored on the TV and record over them things like Lifetime and Soap Operas

This works really well: Go on Myspace and make a blog with a provactive title. Something like "My Red Hot Date" or "What I Did in My Little Black Dress" or "Confessions". Becareful its not too nasty because people will see the title. When you create the entry you make it private so no one can see. It will drive him crazy to see you have that on your page and he can't get in! When he asks about it--say "None of your f-- business" Or "You haven't been on my preferred list for a long time"

Throw out all his toiletries so he has to use yours--leave out tampons, make up and anything that smells like perfume and flowers. All the deodorant, shampoo, lotion and shaving gell will smell girly!

Go online with his library card and reserve some nasty books for him at the library. This could go two ways--you reserve books about weddings, raising children and home decorating. If he asks why you use his card, you say something like "I thought we shared everything" or "I thought you wanted to spend forver with me". OR you could reserve books on serial killers or books on menopause, Our Bodies, Ourselves... Or books you know he would never read!

Rain X is alot of fun.. You take a bottle and write a message all over the wind shields. It will dry clear---hehe--until it rains!

Go in the kitchen cupboards, and right next to his favorite food--put a picture of yourself or a huge box of pads

This site is the bomb for more ideas:

Carefully use a razor blade to slice through MOST of the stiches holding the seams of his pants together. Leave some stiches in tact so his pants don't rip apart when he first puts them on. His big dirty a*s will be exposed to the world in about half a day. (I know someone who did this--it was hilarious!)

Pour syrup on the toilet seats, he won't see it but he'll stick to the lid.
Pour a large amount of jello powder into the bowl or the tank.
Place ketchup packets between the lid and the bowl.

Call up every company possible in the yellow pages which have a service that comes to the home. Request all their services on the same day to show up at your ex's home.

Lynn Mari...........I LOVE YOUR WAY OF THINKING!!!!!!!!!!