The Review Club Forum Discussion on Anthony's (A. C...

Originally posted by Mykietown
Sorry...not quite my genre...

Unfortunate there is no summary of the first chapters, as I can make little sense of "One." There is no hint what the setting is. Wiliam appears to be a protagonist having a monologue in his head, considering whether to kill an old man. No action here. Oh, and "Hired guns with good calipers..."? Do they intend measuring something, or do you mean "calibers"?

Two: siblings horses [siblings' horses]; mule bated an ash [can't figure what this means]; ripples in a pound [you mean "pond"]; seems the protagonist has an addiction and no access to his preferred substance, but has courage in fighting it, out of duty to the siblings.

shots had went [should be "shots had gone"];

Part four was by far the clearest and most effective portion of this chapter. I did enjoy the manner in which William instructs the boy in fighting.

I was under the impression this was old West, until a cinderblock was mentioned. Then a multibutton fly put me back in the old West. The mention of Popeye toward the end shows this is quite recent. I think you need to give the reader a feeling for the setting from the start, to ground reader in the scene. Also perhaps you could give us a sense of how many people are in the setting so they don't appear to pop out of thin air, though this could merely be my having missed chapter two.