The Review Club Forum Discussion on Rob's Bean and N..

Cameron Probert	Discussion on Rob's Bean and Nothingness 19 Years Ago Discussion on Rob's Bean and Nothingness
Anthony	[no subject] 19 Years Ago Quote: Originally posted by Cameron Probert Discussion on Rob's Bean and Nothingness Not much to it but my review is up. Good work over all.
Cdnsurfer	[no subject] 19 Years Ago Quote: Originally posted by A. C. Riggle [quote=Cameron Probert]Discussion on Rob's Bean and Nothingness Not much to it but my review is up. Good work over all.[/quote] Thanks. I thought the actual plot was pretty flat, really. I originally planned to have it end tragically but suddenly decided to make it a bit more hopeful. Now I think it doesn't have any umpf. I think I might need to go back and end it badly. What do you think?
Anthony	[no subject] 19 Years Ago I rather have a positive end than a depressing no point in living past 40 ending. I know some where you wrote about her going off into the ocean and if you seek that ending again I would suggest having her fight her way back. You could leave her bobbing on a bowie somewhere with hopeful thoughts and not really say if she was rescued.
Cdnsurfer	[no subject] 19 Years Ago Hey CC, thanks again for your brilliant review. You are so damn good at reviews -- wow. I think you've hit on the flatness issue I need to address in that piece, and how I'm going to get it to contrast more fully at the end: it needs to be deeper and more depressing at the start. I need the trigger of the restaurant to have meaning, where now it's purely a hollow mechanism for the transformation. I think I have some ideas how to get it there so you've more than done a superb job of getting me on track. Thanks. Rob
C C Holtman	[no subject] 19 Years Ago Quote: Originally posted by Cdnsurfer Hey CC, thanks again for your brilliant review. You are so damn good at reviews -- wow. I think you've hit on the flatness issue I need to address in that piece, and how I'm going to get it to contrast more fully at the end: it needs to be deeper and more depressing at the start. I need the trigger of the restaurant to have meaning, where now it's purely a hollow mechanism for the transformation. I think I have some ideas how to get it there so you've more than done a superb job of getting me on track. Thanks. Rob Thank you for the compliment Rob. I can give you the name and maybe the address of my old college lit professor that taught me postmodern deconstruction. After that, reviewing seems like a walk in the park, so he gets the credit! ::biggrin:: If you have any questions after you get into it, please let me know. -cc
Cdnsurfer	[no subject] 19 Years Ago Hey Julie and Gabe, I've read your reviews and I think you're right on track there. I think I wrote this piece without a clear plotline formed, or rather changing the plot line significantly from where I intended it to go, and as a result it's listless and pointless. I have to figure out how it's going to get from A to B in a proper story arc. In think I can do that with your comments which helped to point out those problems. Back to the drawing board. Thanks!
Leah D	[no subject] 19 Years Ago Rob, I put off reviewing your story till last, so I could attend to it closely. I think the ending is the weak point, but not because it's hopeful -- it's just too simplistically hopeful. I like the general tone of the piece -- the detachment of incipient mid-life crisis rings true for me. Bean shouldn't be in tears or contemplating suicide -- just feeling a bit off, and pointless. I think you capture that well. A drunken birthday party and a handsome young waiter are probably all a woman needs to get past forty. But any woman who reads Sartre, even sort of casually, to regain her lost youth, when she felt engaged and interested in life, would not speak the words in that last line of dialogue.
Cdnsurfer	[no subject] 19 Years Ago Quote: Originally posted by Leah Davidson Rob, I put off reviewing your story till last, so I could attend to it closely. I think the ending is the weak point, but not because it's hopeful -- it's just too simplistically hopeful. I like the general tone of the piece -- the detachment of incipient mid-life crisis rings true for me. Bean shouldn't be in tears or contemplating suicide -- just feeling a bit off, and pointless. I think you capture that well. A drunken birthday party and a handsome young waiter are probably all a woman needs to get past forty. But any woman who reads Sartre, even sort of casually, to regain her lost youth, when she felt engaged and interested in life, would not speak the words in that last line of dialogue. Hey Leah, I looked over your review. Thanks for that. I feel that the plot is flat -- nothing is happening other than her crisis, so I'm going to inject some crisis at the start to get things down, and so the story transitions better at the restaurant. I think that should do it. I appreciate the commentary. Thanks, my friend. Rob
Cdnsurfer	[no subject] 19 Years Ago Quote: Originally posted by C C Holtman [quote=Cdnsurfer]Hey CC, thanks again for your brilliant review. You are so damn good at reviews -- wow. I think you've hit on the flatness issue I need to address in that piece, and how I'm going to get it to contrast more fully at the end: it needs to be deeper and more depressing at the start. I need the trigger of the restaurant to have meaning, where now it's purely a hollow mechanism for the transformation. I think I have some ideas how to get it there so you've more than done a superb job of getting me on track. Thanks. Rob Thank you for the compliment Rob. I can give you the name and maybe the address of my old college lit professor that taught me postmodern deconstruction. After that, reviewing seems like a walk in the park, so he gets the credit! ::biggrin:: If you have any questions after you get into it, please let me know. -cc[/quote] I'd love to chat with him if he has the time to chat with me. I seem to get along famously with professors -- they suffer the illusion I have something interesting to say. So disappointing when I actually open my mouth to speak.

C C Holtman	[no subject] 19 Years Ago Oh, you don't want to talk to him really. He's one of those arrogant, east coast, rich kids, you know, the tenured and working for an honorary dollar a year types? He's not impressed with writers, I don't think, because he thinks nothing new can compare with what has already come. -cc
Cdnsurfer	[no subject] 19 Years Ago Hey Cameron, thanks for that. I appreciate the review. I know what I have to do -- partially pacing issues and action to move the plot forward. It isn't going anywhere right now. I think I've got the fix after getting the feedback from all of you. Thanks.