The Review Club Forum New Rules Please Read

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Nope but I'm sure you found a lot of edits. Whew, nasty the stuff I first write.[/quote]

You know, actually, that was pretty clean. You should let voice just go more often like that. It really works for you.

-cc

CC - I'm glad you asked Anthony about his post (on Poe). I wondered if he'd finally gone 'round the bend. ::tongue::

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Well what can I say, I like to keep people guessing.

Well I'm waiting for a guy to call me about and engine so I'm dabbling with more of my lunacy.

Shaking, always shaking those hands of his. Even now look at them, wrinkled and sun blackened, resting on the rockers armrests as if proud in their seediness. Do you see the scorched dabs of pigment that looks of fly and roach dung? I cringe I tell you, simply cringe. And he wants to touch me. Oh not in the sicko way but the grandfatherly way, a warm dry grasp on the back of my neck. I don�t want to feel the pull of paper thin and paper dry skin on the youth of my skin. Won�t take it, can�t take, no I won�t. I have to do this you see. I have to stop it. And if he had the senses of his younger years, believe you me, he would want it. I�ll do it because I love him. Because those dry scaly hands with hair as colorless as granddaddy spider legs makes me shy and withdrawn. They make me hide you see. They make me find other things to do. And I miss his stories, and questions. So tonight I tell you, tonight I will free him of those ghastly flat thumbs, and yellow finger nails. Tonight I will sever them from his arms. Besides, just think how great the hooks will look like for Halloween.


I�m no fool and neither is he. So it will be swift I tell you, swift and final. Like two quick sneezes it�ll be. And yes I have the apparatus that will sever his grotesque limbs at the wrist. It rests now at the foot of my bed under a camouflage of dingy and dirty clothes. The dirtiest and smelliest I could find. Those keep the prying hands and eyes of Mother away. I first thought of various saws and power tools. Too noisy or too slow those things. But yes, what I have will work, I�m sure of it. Blood you ask? Hah, no worries there, that too has been handled� no pun intended. Oh how I love my Google. The things stroking fingers can find out will leave you flabbergasted.


Please, I somberly beg of you, don�t think of me as mad. I may be only twelve but I know both his years and mine with him are limited. This act, this act of ridding the hideously twisted roadblock that keeps us separated, is needed I cry. Needed so the precious few dying years of his are not wasted, not squandered by my timid stomach. I would gut myself if I could. I need his words of wisdom you see, his guidance, oh God I need so much.

**** about where I stopped :)

Christ look! He rises. Do you not see the wrinkled rings around knots of knuckles? How misshapen they are. They look of arthritic dice don�t they? They throw nothing but snake eye�s I tell you-- worthless. Oh and look how the veins move, such a slither, reptile-like, under the fineness of skin. Ughh, the color. I know, like infectious snot. So you see I�m not mad. Justified am I. So tonight, tonight I will do the deed.

Vie, vie, vie, I say with all the disgust of a Jewish babushka. The cane! How I dread it. Look at those useless claws that barely support his frail upper stomp. Watch his knees I tell you. No, he is not bowl legged but just look at them bend. It�s those dreadful hands. They betray him. Make a mock of him. Reduce him to physical feebleness. Would he not look regal, with his hair of silver and line of smile, sitting like my sire on a wheeled throne? He is economical you see; of frugal size. But I�ve noticed, with the right eye and posture, the small seem like giants when sat. And I shall elevate him by removing those dreadfully silly hands. With no way to cane he shall ride. Aye, and I shall push. And we will talk, and smell cherry blossoms. Will that not be a pleasant way to end the stew which has been the long simmer of his life? Shall I not be the final spice? I�m sure even you see I must do it. I am family not foe. What I do is love.

Time to

Tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, God damn this clock. The time is near. My stepfather�s bouls are like clockwork but I swear the clock tonight moves like molasses. He wakes, I know weird, at one in the AM to cop a squat. And I need him to wake and pass and pass. I will not hear him but see him. The AC hums in rattle of ductwork you hear? So that is why I�m looking intently at the sliver of light that stretches long beneath my door. His shadow will pass quickly and I mustn�t miss it. Timing is essence. Oh time, I want to look at the hands of my indigo clock but I dare not. Tempting it is but I won�t. Instead I shall count the piles of erect carpet. Perhaps you could look and tell me the minute and hour? It was close last I check but I dare not peep again. Too close now.


I know you are not real, simply a soulless figment of my imagination, but I swear as I write to you, my silent confidant, in this soft covered journal it is like I�m heard, witnessed, and supported. You know my heart, my intentions. Am I not rational? Object now I say if I�m subject to your disapproval. Thank you. As I thought, I�m vindicated in your lined blankness.

I know you ask how a journal could write. Well tell me are you not witness to my actions and thoughts? Do you not know me better than my Mother? So if you bare witness, God it feels so, and if you know me, you do, hence I retract your nonexistence. Fore surely to witness and know is cause enough to be real. So I take your steadfast silence to be of support.


Argh, but the time! I don�t know which is driving me madder, and no I�m not mad, counting these piles or the feel of cold steel besides my leg. I�ve bedded the apparatus by my side you see. It�s rigid feel and undeniable presence is speaking to me. Use me, it says, though not really. But all the same, I hear its mantra. It is soothing my fear and giving me hope, along with drive. Yes I can wait. But could you quite the little voice that says my stepfather�s bowls are not running tonight, that they are hiding between his round buttocks like a timid turtle in its shell?

OK, I�ll look, for you�re certainly a silent pair of eyes. But how could eyes speak? Hush; let�s not go there twice this night. Cripes, One-O-Five. He is late. Perhaps he passed already. Perhaps I missed him. Surly not? His steps, though fast, are not as rapid as my blink.


LOOK! How fast he passed, like a fox of night and a mouse of fright. Did you not see the scissor shadow that stretched murky on the tan carpet? Now I must go. One last time do ye say nay? I �thanky for your silence. It is now that I must let you be. Timing is essence I say. And time is now. First I go to Mother. Then I cut through skin and vain and tendon and bone and joint. Oh my heart beats now a steam engine of train on incline. Laugh if you will it. But I believe this too, shallow and fast nerves, will aid me. I shall be back. Await, full on report to return.

Hey, I'd also like to point out, for making your list of reviews completed a WHOLE lot easier, that if you scroll down on your home page, there should be a box with a list of reviews, and a tab for reviews given. Only you can see that, but you can highlight and copy and paste it for the week into your submission to the moderators, if that makes anybody's weekends easier.

-cc

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That's a good idea, up to a point. It only shows the last three reviews given. There's not even a 'read more' option like there is for reviews received. ::mad::

You know, that really, REALLY sucks. ::sad:: REALLY SUCKS. I didn't even really check, just knew it was there. Well, I tried... sorry...

-cc

"My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be"

-Ludvig Von Beethoven

All I can say is thanks to the admins for the restructure. I haven't been very focused on reviewing or writing lately, with everything else going on. I might even take a few weeks to recharge the batteries before jumping back into the fray.

PLEASE READ THIS!

So I know we said that lists were due by noon today, but we talked about it, and have decided that it should be no problem to give you all an extension to 10 pm EDT (that's 9 for you midwesterners, 8 for us mountain people, and 7 for you Californians). For god's sake, I wasn't even up by noon today. ::tongue::

That AND I want to remind everybody for clarification that the new list will come out tonight in the featured section of the group page AND by email. Who you can review resets at the beginning of each week, but the list will let you know who did the best in terms of reviews this week, so that you can use that to make decisions. If you have ANY questions as we get ready for the first week with points, I'll be around and checking my email all day, so let me know.

-cc