The Review Club Forum Rob's discussion

Hey Gabe. Thanks for the review. I don't know abut that piece. It was written awhile back, but it just doesn't really work for me anymore. Probably a tosser. Cheers! Rob

Hey Nick. Thanks for the honest review. I think it's clear that if I'm going where I want the first third of the novel to go, I'll have to deal with the transitions better. It's disjointed. I think you'll find that more obvious in chapter 3 and 4. It's ok. Your comments follow everyone elses. I love that there's a definite consensus there. The problem is whether I can successfully deal with Memory in this fashion. The first 3rd of the novel is On Memory. Still, perhaps, I have just stick with the past memory on Allison and move forward from there. Deal with that as Memory. I think I need to rethink that part. Which means killing the existing Chapters 2 to 4 as non starters. That's ok. The general thematic arc remains: three parts -- On Memory, On Forgetting and On Truth, which were to be written in First Person, Second Person and Third Person, respectively. Cheers. Thanks a million. Rob

Thomas, thanks for reviewing that poem. I appreciate it. I'm simply not a poet. I fell into it late last year because most of the group I've been associated with here and at urbis, and on MySpace, were all poets. The one's who dragged me here from urbis -- Deb Marlar, Drake Lightle, Lola Nation, Chris Pimental, J.R. Maston, The Verse, etc., so I had to start writing the stuff if I wanted to pay them back on reviews -- I had to know what I was "sort of" talking about. I recommend it for any fiction writer, as you point out, as a means of learning word economy to paint solid images. Cheers! Rob

Hey Nick, I was just thinking about this. One of the problems with the Sound is what I'd mentioned to you before: that whole MRU thing. There isn't one in there. I have to recast the work so that the motivation is built in to lead to the reaction. I don't have that there so it's just scenes, and the motivation for each movement in the story is unknown. I think I have a grasp on that concept now. So, I need to work it in. Cheers. Rob

Thanks CC. Thanks for the reminder, echoing previous comments, as that's what I need as I start to dissect this piece and rebuild it. I'm stuck on my laptop stealing someone's broadband right now, so I can't do too much. Weak signal. Takes forever. I hope my DSL line comes back up soon. This sucks. You are bang on in your comments -- I appreciate every word. And you're right about the same problem, I'm doing, that I identified with your chapter. Funny how that is, eh? lol

Cheers! Rob

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I'm glad you found that helpful, and, for all the nagging, I'm looking forward to reading more.

And that is funny... how it's so much easier to see things in somebody else's work than your own? That's why I think reviewing is important... you learn from it, learn things that you wouldn't pick up from your own trials and tribulations.

-cc

Rob,

I think your right about the MRU's that is missing.   You already have the responses in the memories...but what is the motivation.   I sort of get the feeling that something tragic happened...perhaps with Allison because of the last line in chapter 1. 

And CC is right on in that I often time see the flaws in the works of others, but blind to the same issues in my own work.   I think its more common than not.

Glad you got it solved Rob.

Nick.

Hey Nick. Ya, I think I have that figured out in my head now. That whole Vonnegut thing about our characters have to want something, even if it's a glass of water.

Sorry folks. I haven't been very good these past two weeks. I'll be better. I promise.

By the way, if you're interested, "Chapter 2" of The Sound of the Dying Universe, as a novel excerpt/short story will appear in this month's issue of 34th Parallel. "Lilac Festival" and "A Certain Message" have been picked up for the January, 2008 issue of Paradigm.

Thanks tons for the help guys.

Reviews up for your The Long Walk. Was very impressed. A great story!

Ha ha! Actually, that wasn't my story! Maybe Blue Bards? I often send out read requests for other's work. ;-)

 

Me bad. I just withdrew "A Certain Message" from Paradigm and accepted a paying print market "Outercast". I guess I forgot to let them know I'd accepted publication elsewhere. I'm usually so careful about that.

 

Now, despite my crappy participation here, I promise to make amends.