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Vintage Dreams (Short Story - ..
Vintage Dreams (Short Story - Needs Review)14 Years AgoI would love to have my short story reviewed, if anyone is interested. Constructive criticism welcomed.
She
glares at the back of his plaid, wrinkled shirt, staring at his salt and pepper
hair as the bottom of the coffee cup tilts with his head. He doesn't speak. He
doesn't look back. For three hours she's been sitting in the tiny coffee
shop and he hasn't moved an inch. She wonders if he even knows she's there.
The
phone rings and interrupts their productive silence. A quick stare confirms he
is indeed aware of her existence. She talks and nods as to confirm to the
recipient on the other end of the line that she indeed cares about their
conversation. The truth is, she doesn't. Caring seems to be far from her
radar.
Everything
inside of her screams to reach out to the stranger in the room, believing if he
knew how she felt, perhaps he could rescue her from the pain. The pain that
eats away every second of every day. She wonders if he got one glimpse into her
eyes if he would see that her smile is simply a facade. She hides it from the
world. Won't he see it? Won't someone pay attention?
Perhaps
he is the one. Maybe he is the guy that will sweep her off her feet and take
the reality of shame away. If only he would look back once more. He tilts his head again for another sip
of coffee and loses himself in the world of spreadsheets and emails. Another
person in the world that doesn't understand.
For
a moment, however, she pretends he does. He drops his napkin from the vintage
cafe table and as he reaches down to pick it up, sees her. He smiles and says,
"Hello." She returns the greeting. This time their eyes lock and blue
and green hues meet for what seems like an eternity. His eyes spell
understanding as hers spell relief. Over coffee they spill details of their
lives as though they've known each other for years. His spreadsheets disappear and
cupped hands over hers take their place. Bliss.
She's
told him everything and yet he stays. Secret after secret is revealed and the
harder they become, the more his gentle smile wipes her fears away. Could it be
love? She wants it to be. Does he want the same? She gets her answer, as he
stands, takes her hand and pulls her close. They dance to Sinatra and the world
disappears around them. It must be love.
The
phone rings and she takes a double look as the reality of her surroundings
shock her. Another daydream. She nods again on the other end of the line, as
his footsteps grow distant. His plaid shirt fades and soon he is out of sight.
It's gone. Her dream of rescue is over. All that's left is an empty coffee cup
and the overwhelming feeling of loneliness.
Perhaps
tomorrow will again bring a glimpse of light.
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