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Question about the third person point of view and the thoughts of the protagonist

12 Years Ago


I've got a story written in third person and am experiencing a conundrum about presenting the protagonist's thoughts. Should I put her personal thought into italics and use "I?" These examples are two ways to write one passage:


THIS?
What should she do? She should go to the doctor. Tomorrow? Crouching on the bathroom floor she decides it can't wait for tomorrow. She clumsily dials Elaine, gets her answering machine. 

OR THIS?
What should I do? I should go to the doctor.Tomorrow? Crouching on the bathroom floor she decides it can't wait for tomorrow. She clumsily dials Elaine, gets her answering machine.

The story is Unlocking Bonnie, Chapter 1: Bonnie and the giant rodent. These examples are taken from the very last paragraph.  

Re: Question about the third person point of view and the thoughts of the protagonist

12 Years Ago


I prefer the latter, using inner dialog to reveal thoughts.

It's clear and concise and adds flavor.

Though, I would only use this if you are using Third-Person-Limited POV. If we get multiple thoughts, it will be confusing.

Re: Question about the third person point of view and the thoughts of the protagonist

12 Years Ago


I agree, multiple thoughts would be way confusing. So you like the second version better? Most of the people I have polled do as well. I am thinking I'll go with that.