Want Some Reviews? Forum This is my first post here so ..

I look. I stare. I blinkShe looks back. I look down. AshamedI study my hands. Nails look crooked. Should have cut themI look up again. She looks away. I stare.Why me no have long hair like her.I touch my hair. Feel it. hate it.She looks back. Me no blink. She is prettyI look away. Ashamed. Why me no perfect like her. she looks at me. Sees me looking down. StaresTouches her hair. Feels it. Hates itWhy her hair no short and cute like mineShe looks down. Looks up again. StaresWe lock eyes. She looks down. AshamedWhy she no perfect like me

Very nice. My only complaints was that you missed a period or a space occasionally and it kind of tripped me out and I lost focus on the writing. I don't know if the spaces were intentional or an accident, but they messed me up. Other than that, this is very good. I like how they swap parts at the end. Nice writing. :)

This was pretty good, I would focus on the grammar, spaces and little mistakes like that. The only thing I was wondering was if you meant for it to be choppy? If so that's alright just wasn't sure, but other than that it was good.