Want Some Reviews? Forum HELP

I have a piece called "where to begin". I am about to enter it into a literary competition but I need some help. It is only the first 10,000 words of a novel. (this is how many words they want entered for the competition) However I need to make it sharp and catch the judges eye. I usually write horror so this is a new idea from me. It is about an abused child and her life. Can anyone help? I need to tighten it up and make it exciting and readable. Many thanks x