http://slow.writerscafe.org/Pnolausen The original writings of author RevolutionwithPaper en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776051812 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 The funeral is held just a few days later, all exactly to Ryan'instructions, he has been cremated, but still the ceremony was held in thecemetery to make his existence to the generations that didn’t get a chance toknow him. The headstone is deep gray granite with silver flecks.Ther.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035058/ When Ryan wakes up that last day he knows it's the end. Hecan feel it. That knowledge somehow makes it easier for him to get up and greetthe day, to see all he loved one more time before it all disappeared. He hasdecided that it won’t be dramatic like in the movies, there is sun shine bu.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035057/ It's almost the end of February before Ryan can work up thecourage to say his last goodbye. He wants Julia to have real closure, becausehe is afraid she will dissolve into herself if he doesn’t and Ryan really,really doesn't want that to happen. Not just because it would be his fault, bu.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035056/ Ryan stops his mom from leaving by catching her sleeve, likehe had when he was little and had wanted just one more  bed time story. "Mom?" he asked,his actions may have spoken of a child but his tone was of a man eroded byyears of wisdom. "Yes, Ryan?" his mom asks, turning her gaze ba.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035055/ Sam's the one he doesn't have to be strong for, the one hedoesn't have to ask things of. He and Sam had always been connected. So Ryanknows that whatever he says he will understand completely, so he could say goodbye, but also so he could let go a little himself. "I'm angry," Ryan says, ou.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035054/ "I'm dying," Ryan says to Bri one day the nextweek after he had confronted Kyle. It's now February and the days are slowlystarting to warm up while Ryan just gets weaker and weaker. "I'mdying," he repeats when she just looks at him with wide eyes that arefilling with tears that she was deter.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035052/ He and Peyton are sitting in the kitchen together, aloneexcept for his mom who is outside in the garden. It's not rare that Peyton andRyan are alone in the same place together. It's just rare that none of theothers are hovering, but Ryan is grateful for this opportunity. He wants totake adva.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035051/ It's another week before he says goodbye to Kyle. In theorythis goodbye would be easier, he would be angry, he was the poster child formisplaced emotions. Rage was better than tears Ryan can't do anything anymore without a reminder of thefact that yes, he's dying. Every day he gets closer .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035049/ Katie will always be first and foremost Sam's girl. But atthe same time they both have bonded over the years and she was family now.“Don’t break him”She just gives him a startled and slightly hurt expression,as if she can't even imagine doing something like that. "I won&r.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035047/  He starts saying his goodbyes at the end of January. Heknows that the doctors are hopeful that he'll make it until the end of March,maybe April, but he can feel the end coming. Can feel it in the way his bonesdon't stop hurting and every day he spends more time asleep. Even when he's.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035046/ The tensions have been growing high among the pack. Ryan cantell that there is fighting going beyond the bubble they have created for him.That is infuriating to him, that they treat him like he can’t handle it, likehe is too fragile for the real world. Katie and Sam are on the rocks, Kat.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035043/ By Christmas break he knows he won't be going back toschool. He doesn't say anything, because the others are still hopeful for aholiday miracle that will never come. He knows the truth. The disease has beenspreading faster than the doctor expected. The initial seven months had beendowngraded.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035042/ Over the next month Ryan begins to feel better than he hadsince September. He regains a little bit of the weight he had lost and hisattitude seems to lighten. He still wears the hat from Bri. It makes the othersfeel better that he's looking a little bit healthier, gives them a little hope,wh.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035041/ Ryan was more nervous for this big reveal than he'd beenabout getting the test results. He knew they were going to be angry, he knew theywere going to be hurt. They would eventually come to understand why he didn’twant to tell anyone. He just doesn't expect them to like it.They're al.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035039/ It's actually kind of a reprieve that Sam knows now. He hassomeone he can rely on, because he knows his mom isn't up to the task. The nextweek is like a reaffirmation of their friendship, they spend almost everywaking moment together.He spends that week almost entirely in the present. He.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035038/ Sam has noticed that Ryan hasn't been at school a lot thisyear. It makes him worry, because he might have ended up joining in the pack,but he'll always feels like Ryan is his responsibility, no matter how manytimes Ryan has proven he can take care of himself. So one Friday at the far endof O.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035037/ November heralds the beginning of the end. The chemosessions aren't getting any easier, if anything, Ryan just seems to be gettingsicker. He's almost constantly got a low-grade fever nowadays and his boneshave this deep-set ache that never goes away. He's lost enough weight now thathe was wo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035034/ Over the next few weeks he masters the song and dance ofkeeping everyone in the dark. His immune system isn't the best, that’s hisexcuse for the repeated absences from school. But it is true chemo therapy destroyedhis immune system. None of the pack pays much attention to the sad looks R.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035033/ His first game is on Friday 3 weeks after tryouts and hejust knows that he is going to regret it. But that day he doesn’t care aboutthe future just the game. Ryan feels sweat dripping off his hair, and the firein his chest because he is weak. He scores 12 points the first 8 minutes he is.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035032/ The first chemo session does not go well. He'd told the packthat he was down with the flu and not to worry. They could smell the sicknesson him and they believe him. Julia had wanted to stop by and check on him, but Ryanhad told her that he'd didn’t want her to get sick too, and that may.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035031/ It starts with bruising. Ryan is an active 17 year old boyand he's almost always had a few bruises, but then one day he wakes up and hisside is covered in bruises, purple, yellow and blue bruises. He shrugs it offat first. He was always training, always running around with the rest of thegro.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035030/ There once were 8 people, drawn together by blood and tragedy. A group of 15 year olds that met at school. They feel the connection in the way they have been damaged. In the way their hearts beat bloody memories. Ryan’s father’s prolonged death that still haunts him. Julia losing he.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035029/ This story is not ordinary by any means. It has love, but not romance. Mostly it is about recovery and remembrance. There will be tears, lots of them. This is a story of Ryan a boy who never saw 18. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Pnolausen/1035028/