http://slow.writerscafe.org/Sidler410 The original writings of author CrisCarter en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1775525103 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 I sat up in bed, with my hands in my face, soaked in tears. It was a long while since anything crazy happened in my life. How often does some crazy chick end up trapped in a storage closet with you, sit on top of you, and tell you you’re a monster? I’d say never, but I knew it happened. .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/999224/ “Come on, Jamie... Oh! Geez, you’re getting so-o-o big, baby girl!” “We made these today!” Clasped in her small little hand was a paper heart with white lace around it. In the middle, printed in crayon, it read “Mom.” There were prints from glue and the dirt.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991610/ Since when did people become so cruel? Since when did they become filled with so much hate? Disgust? When did man stop caring about each other? There had to be a time when love was more than just a word, right?  Right? Maybe. Maybe love existed, but I didn’t believe in it. No, love was ei.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991180/ "Love is a sick mental disease. Get away from it's grasp as soon as possible." http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991178/ Juliet Matthews stared blankly across the street. She hadn’t talked to Ida in forever. Ida had deserted her for Cliff. She felt horrible when that happened. Depressed. She cut herself. She had even thought she hated Ida. But now what? The police were down the street, talking to Aunt Tracy. Jul.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991176/ “Austin! Austin, open the door! Now!” I screamed, but it seemed useless. Austin wouldn’t open the door for me. No, he probably hated me. I pushed my body into it, and it surprisingly swung open. Unlocked. Austin’s car wasn’t here, but where else could he be? “Aust.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991174/ I stared down into the darkness. This was it. This was the end. My prayers were finished. Everything was slowly ending. Everything was finally going to be over.  I smiled to myself in the darkness. I was ready.     Cold is oblivion. Without light. Like an obsidian. Without.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991173/ I screamed out as I lunged forward, catching Cliff off guard. The glass broke in my hand, and he screamed out in pain. This was my chance. Lightening flashed outside, and I slapped him as hard as I could before running out of the room. He was after me, but the house was pitch black, except for the l.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991171/ I left as soon as I could. For some reason, after seeing what was really going on shocked me away from my original purpose. Then, I attacked Cliff. Then Ida told me to leave. I was right, she still did hate me. Even after I saved her. I didn’t blame her. I hated myself for what I did to her. B.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991169/ Cliff’s arms wrapped tightly around me, and he kissed up my neck. I shivered under his warm breath, and tried to beat him away. Slowly, he pushed himself onto my harder, and harder, until it hurt. His soft skin was warm, and it used to be comforting. Now it was just threatening and suffocating.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991168/ I tried my best to hurry through the streets, but the rain poured harder than ever before, and every time lightening flashed, it blinded me. How I wished a bolt would strike me down.  I scurried as fast as I could up the street, and up the driveway. The door was open, and I barged in. It was pi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991167/ I stared blankly up at the ceiling in my room. The tears were starting to dry in the corners of my eyes. I was all out of tears. My clothes laid scattered on the floor, and my entire body shook in fear and pain.  Cliff was out getting food from the kitchen. I hoped he ate the old s**t. I hoped .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991166/ My eyes fluttered between shut and open. Blackness. A dark blue. Black. Blue. Black. Blue. When I finally managed to keep them open, I knew where I was. The pool in the cave stood stale and stagnant beside me.  How had I managed to wonder out here? I hadn’t even been down to the railing w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991164/ I carefully traced the dark brown pencil through my eyebrows, and combed through my hair. I was getting better at putting on make-up, since I had something to wear it for, anyway. I smiled back at myself in the mirror, and gave myself a thumbs-up. Then, I lifted my shirt, and stared at my belly from.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991163/ I stepped outside of the house with certain care of my left leg. It was a long story of how the cut ended there, and how it had moved from my arm to my leg. After I called Ida, I wasn’t feeling much better. Yeah, I wasn’t going to kill myself. We both knew that the pact was supposed to g.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991161/ The door slammed nearly thirty minutes ago, yet I continued to sit on the side of my bed and smile. When Cliff walked in, I was still laying down and crying. I wouldn’t answer the door, so he came right in. My aunt wasn’t home, so at least he didn’t have to worry about being mistak.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991160/ Though it seemed impossible, the rain managed to pick up even more. It was blowing in multiple directions, and a couple of times entered the cave. Every time I was greeted by the bone-chilling air and then a spray of hard, almost liquid nitrogen-cold rain. If my hair had still been on my head, it wo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991159/ My eyes were sore from all of the crying. Right when I left Austin and headed toward Cliff I began to suspect... suspect what? Surly I couldn’t have suspected that he was with someone else, or that he was using me, could I? I couldn’t have been so right. Austin’s speech had given m.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991157/ I stood at the beach angrily as Ida left. My depression was taken over by a short burst of anger, and that was at least enough for me to function. The only reason I had called her was because of what Cheyenne had said, and also I had figured that Cliff would have surely broke her heart. If Cliff did.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991154/ “Hey, Ida.” “Austin?” He sounded distant. Not physically, but mentally. He sounded hollow. I could sense his depression, and I knew he knew about last night. Cliff said he wouldn’t.  I sat at my desk, as I waited for Cliff to call me.  “Hey.” &ldqu.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991153/ I hummed softly to myself as I entered the house. I had been out for a walk while Cliff was out doing whatever Cliff did. The fresh air made me feel better. After I got home the other day, I laid down on my bed. It surprised me when a tear dripped down my face, and I wiped it away. Cliff came i.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991152/  What was life? What was any of it? I was so surprised by it sometimes, even though I tended to do the unexpected, and surprises were usually the expected. Yet none of us had seen Austin go. No one had said a word. In fact, no one knew how long he had been gone. That is, until Cliff did.  .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991151/ My head span as she left the room. I wanted to call out to her, and call her back. Yet I knew it was hopeless. I stood by the drawer, stupidly holding a condom up to the light while completely naked. Ida didn’t seem like the person to just run off like that, but perhaps there was more to it. E.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991150/ I wiped the tears away, and scrambled into the car before Aunt Tracy could come out of the house. I was surprised that she could still hear anything.  “Hey! Ida! Are you OK?” “Yeah, Juliet. Jesus, are you always walking around the block?” “Ha! It’s one of the.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991149/ Cliff was sitting down in the recliner, reading the paper. I walked up behind him and tapped his shoulder.  “Huh?” he asked, without turning around. “Wanna go for a run today?” “No, I’m fine right here.” “Wait... what?” “Yeah, I’.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991148/ I set the phone down carefully. I had a strange smile on my face, and I didn’t know why. The kid bothered me. Why did I ever give him my number? He was just trying to get with me. He was trying to get with me, and he had never met me. Maybe I thought I was nice. He had never seen me, either. H.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991147/ “Bye, Cliff!” He walked into my room. “What are you going to do today?” “Um.. I’m not sure.” “Weren’t you going to start running? I’ll go with you.” “In a bit.” “Any calling today?” “Probably not.&rdquo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991146/ I could feel it building within me. A slow, steady creeping. Calling DHS was like a drug. It was an obsession. Suddenly, I could sleep again. Suddenly, I didn’t feel alone. It was an amazing feeling to not be alone. I cherished it, because so far in life, I had already learned that good feelin.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991145/ “Hello?” “Hi.” “This is my fist time at this... uh, I’m not sure...” “Here. I’ll go first. Yesterday, or just a couple hours ago, I got ditched by a girl, who then slept with my roommate.” “Man. That sucks. Today, I found out that my .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991144/ My roller coaster life was sickening me at times, especially at the low points. Right now, it was more like a middle point. Maybe a slow rise up, or maybe just a straight path. I didn’t really know where it was going. If it went down, that was bad. If it went up, I was feeling good. I hoped an.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991143/ I combed through my hair slowly and then washed off my face. I decided I would take my time, and show up a little late. My hair caught and tore at the ends, and I experimented with it one way, and found that it made me look like I was hit across the face with a tornado. I tugged through it back to w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991142/ “Hello?” “Hello?” “Hi.” “Well, hi.” “I’m Leeland.” “Hi, Leeland. I’m Ida.” Leeland. What an odd name. “I hate my life.” “Me too.” “Nothing goes right.” “I know. It sucks.&rd.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991141/ “Cliff! Hey, Cliff, are you here?” “Yeah! I’m in my room.” It was Tuesday morning, and I went down by the beach and on the trail for a morning run. Yesterday left me feeling confident and fresh. Maybe all I needed was to break the cycle. Now, I was in the air, soaring. .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991139/ Today was Monday. Thank God I wasn’t in school anymore. Cliff and I quickly made our way out the back door, as he had spotted a man walking around the neighborhood shoving his beliefs down others throats. If there was anything that I hated more that waiting, it was when people thought that the.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991138/ AUSTIN POV http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991137/ “Aunt, I’m back!” I yelled. I heard her scurry out of the kitchen. She stood in the doorway with a wide “O” shape in her mouth. “Where have you been?!” “Oh. I was out.” “You took my car!” “Yeah, I don’t have one Tracy. I h.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991135/ AUSTIN POV http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991134/ IDA POV http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991133/ Austin POV http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991131/ To you, my "special someone," as I will call you. This was entirely written for you.  All 180 pages.  Thank you for the troubles you put me through, because they were not only horrible and just plain rude at times, but they were my inspiration. Without you, this would never have been writt.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991130/ Thanks to my family. Without them I obviously wouldn't be here to write this. My Aunt Georgia, epsecially, for motivating me to start writing years ago. Thank you to my friend Amanda, for being such a good friend, and giving me personal advice on how to improve my writing, and also being there .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991129/ "As I fell into the sky, I could see everything on earth. I understood." http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Sidler410/991128/