sheila.j | WritersCafe.org

Change

Change is here again, knocking on my doorsKnocking down my wallsprying its way deep into my tissueChange is here again, opening my mindOpening up my woundsstripping me down to vulnerability to honestyChange is here again, pushing past my thresholdPushing me into a new placereading me to filthwi..

Cosmos

Well Jacob, I am going to finish what we started here, a year after accepting your posthumous degree I will accept my own. I am a few weeks from graduating with a degree in astrophysics. The very subject matter that brought us together. I know towards the end you wanted to let go of the math and sci..

Together

Death lives endlessly in my mind; you live endlessly in my mind. I wake to the sickening shock of your departure. Confused with the reality I live in; the reality that you don’t. Most of the time I struggle to marry logic with the emotion of your passing. I know you died, but I rarely accept i..

I miss you

I am still so in love with youAnd you are deadAnd like a strong cup of coffee Each morning I sip on the pain of losing youAnd each night I drink your memory like long lost hopeWaiting for the dreams in which we meet to bridge into realityBut you always slip away with those sweet words upon your..

Poppy Fields

Days spent searching for the sunnestled deep in the groundweathering deep, bitter freezesdesperately reaching for the surfacesuffering heat waves shriveled in dehydrationstarting againand againand againand againuntil one day maybea field of brilliant poppieswould erupt from all thepain.&nb..

Life After

It has been 10 months and 20 days since I last heard your voice. Since I last found myself delighting in your laughter. Since I last voiced my concern for your wellbeing to you. It has been 10 months and 17 days since I last searched for you. Strange how time has passed since you did. I used to spen..

The List of Me

FailureSelfishDepressedOkayHappyLiesDamagedBruisedScarredForgottenAbandonedHatefulInsomniacPurgeScaredBrokenLongingIgnoredUnwantedNeedyEnragedWorthlessDeservingBipolarLovedScreamingHopingAloneDead

Who is She?

Alone, she sits on her floor legs crossed, staring at the floor boards. A half empty bottle of vodka cradled in her right hand and a burning cigarette hanging between her pointer and middle finger. She can't remember the last time she was stone sober, or how she became this shameful b..

Life

Life is a cacophony of love, hate, desire, and pain A sinful cycle of lies, deception, and manipulationsA beautiful spiral of joy, regrets, and memories An egotistical world of pride and self elevationAn exotic world of endorphins and adrenaline An inadequate place to prospe..

Everything, Nothing

Nothing can destroy everythingEverything can destroy nothing You can have everythingYet appreciate nothing You can see everythingBut understand nothing You can feel everythingAnd be hurt by nothing You can hate everythingYet despise nothing You can fear everythingB..

I Can't

You deserve so much better, so much better than meI see your smile and how strong you are and I can'tYou deserve so much more, so much more than meBut I can't, I really can't help it I just want you to know that I'm trying so hardTrying to smile so brightly, to laugh so lightlyI want you to hea..

Infinite Possibilities, Yet No Answers

There's an infinite number of combinations for the 26 letter alphabetTake out the links that don't create words for the English languageStill mathematically considering 26 letters and few rules for wordsThere are still numerous letter combinations for every possible feeling Yet finding the word..

A False Start

Watch the sun rise breaking the horizon with its raysToday is a new day, a better day, goodbye to the dark daysDeep in my bones I feel this warmth opening my eyesEverything awake and alive and a smile to my surpriseDances on my lips then tumbles to my heartAnd in my mind flowers bloom and my li..

Torn

This is it gone, done, and overwhat's left is used to coverthese dirty sins and dreamstorn apart at the seamsYanked the heart strings right outgiving no sympathy to the shoutof a soul leaving the bodyyoung but not completely unreadyso take your shaking hands stick them in the blades of a&n..

Time ran out

It's kinda morbid..

Always

It was always this room In this houseOn this roadIn this townIt will always be this lifeWith this mindIn this bodyWith those timesIt will always be this memoryIn this nightmareFrom this sceneIn this chair

God....?

Coming to terms with being Atheist and I just wrote down what was going through my head. This was written a little over a month ago.

Do I

I wanna know Do I give you shivers when I whisper in your earDo I make your heart race when I flash you a smileDo I frustrate you like you frustrate meDo I make you crazy when we're apartDo I bring your hopes up When they seem so downDo I get your attention even when we aren't talkingDo I make you f..

Burned Out

Feeling like your life is all to please someone else

Don't Leave Me Alone

short

Invisible

There she was again throwing clothes in a extra large trash bagScreaming she's done That they're over.There he was just sitting there staring a thousand miles forwardUndoubtedly thinking He's done. it's over.And there I was standing in the old door frame againListening to the arg..

Don't You Worry

Ever get that feeling that no one's thereWords stuck to the people who careCan't take these feelings anymoreCan't stand being here alone It's hard to explain when you don't knowAnd the only thing you can showAre the tears rolling down your cheekWith your lips forming words meant to speak D..

They Say...

They say that life is greatThey say pictures are worth a thousand wordsThey say that you can paint a picture with those wordsThey say you can, if you have the willThey say you can’t, but that you shouldThey say time is expensive so spend is wiselyThey say that ignor..

Scrapbook

My words feel like an old scrapbookMade from a childs unskilled handsHow nobody knows the true order Of the many pictures and no onecares to find the other half of a torn memory because they don't Remember it to begin with These same people look at this bookAnd coo over how adorable it is..

Don't Watch Me Fall

I'll soar up high and crash down lowDoesn't matter, never mattered, I'm on my ownBeen held hostage too longThese chains have rusted to my skinBreaking free sears my heartBut my vision never thins I'll look up in the cloudsAnd see the distant starsBarely holding my dreamsHardly hiding my scars&n..

Jupiter Song :)

Me and my friends original lyrics to the song The Run and Go by Twenty One Pilots

Collapsing

It hurts when I fail not because I'm afraid of what others think, but of what I thinkThe pressure of keeping up, of excelling farther, of pushing harder is a nuise around my neckand I stand on this tipping chair, legs chewed down like toothpicks ready to splitto drop my weight and collapse into..

Hollow

I'm scared to feel like this...

Love

Love seems a lot like taking a gunPressing it point blank to your heartand hoping they won't pull the trigger

To Hell and Back Again

To hell and back again. To the brink and overYou took your fathers gun and pressed it to your headPlaced your finger over the trigger and thought your last wordsBoom and now youre goneAnd here I am left in your wake of deathMy best friend. My best friend dead.So now I sit staring a thousand miles fo..

But I'm not

My eyes are open, but I'm not seeing.My lungs are working, but I'm not breathing.My legs are moving, but I'm not stepping.My lips are smiling, but I'm not happy.My heart is beating, but I'm not feeling.

Here to Stay

Life isn't all it's cracked up to be.Maybe that's the conclusionthat ended everythingWhy stay? I stay for a few thingsI'm not quite doneI'm not quite readyto give up this life I stay for the upsThe heart lifting joysThe anxious excitmentsThe smiles and laughs I stay for the downsTo re..

Unanswered Questions

Recently a really good friend's sister committed suicide, and these are all the questions that will remain unanswered.

Other Side

Something that just flew outta me ha

Shatter Like Glass

Something messy and dark from deep inside.

Breaking

It's not you it's meclassic break up line with a new spinit's mepush push pushtil the cracks appearin something so transparentnow your forced to look at it instead ofthrough it.

You

This fall is just oh so confusingLike a roller coasterScreaming and terrifiedYet excited and aliveThis is something I wouldWait in line for over and overJust to get back onIt's an addiction to the thrillTo the feeling of words Stuck hot in my throatThe way everything is so clearBut bluring at the sa..

Hello?

Voicemail: Hi sorry I could'nt answer please leave a message!....................................................................................................................... I can't take it anymore, this one way street all you and no meIt's like inhaling water but living in a desert of s..

Black Box

Does the pressure ever get to a point where it's too much?How deep down you feel the hurt and pain well upThe way no one and nothing can console you When something inside is so utterly wrongBut you keep it locked awaySafe in it's fire-proof, fool-proof box, with everything unacceptableIs there a poi..

Eight Steps Back

Life is about moving forward, so lets do the math 2 steps forward and 10 steps backyou want to backtrack through life huh? got your pessismistic views and one way thoughts.Where's this getting you? Oh, you like the way it is? Bullshit.Don't give me that "Well, you shouldnt go where you think the gra..

Follow Me

Why are you still here…Do you have to follow me everywhere?And whisper in my ear?Please stop saying those wordsCan’t you see what I see?You said you were done..Show me how this endsI can’t take it anymoreLeave me aloneForeverOkay?No...

Just a Simple Life

Left here bleeding; wound sodeepThere’s no coming back; justgo to sleepEyes shut; let the film rollJust a simple life; out ofcontrol Dreams aren’t real; eyeswide openEveryone pours, justa little hope inSeeing it all; Disapointment’sl..

The Show

I never thought I’d get to this point, but here I amCan I have an applause for this one great productionGlad you could all laugh at who I amFunny how laughter brings pain huh?Didn’t think that anything could bring me downOr was it because I’m already one pat..

Falling

Relief calls to me, its voice soothing, luring me into ourroutine. It’s been awhile since we last talked, since the last time Relief metmy skin, and when the hot sting pricks at me, I know this is right. The veryfeeling of warmth, as if saying “Trust me, we’ll make you better..

Still Here

Sometimes I sit herePlaying Russian Roulette; gun loadedMemories; which one will blow me away?Barrel pressed to my head, fingers on the triggerClick. I'm still hereWrong thought. Wrong time. Not enough to push meOver the edge, to never ending darknessA deep abyss; my own escape.Like pandora's box; e..

Society

Society is a plague, a sicknessSpreading disease and creating weaknessMaking you see yourself in a dark lightPushing for an internal fightThe hatred always increasingThe expectations never ceasing Society isn't diverseIt's the exact reverseStriving to be the sameClones, where the only differenc..

Unspoken

The paper bleeds redStaining over pagesOf words never said Words that could have purposeTo show the truthOf what lies below the surface But no eyes wanted to seeThese words, these thingsPainful to be So instead The paper was ruinedThese words will never be read Maybe it's be..