http://slow.writerscafe.org/dudeyanthefirst The original writings of author Ryan Halterman en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776229092 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 Sometimes I miss the insanity of the past. Not the relationships.F**k Love.My true love is in going wild.....letting go, over indulging pushing the edge. Falling into a world where everyday is unpredictable. There will be drugs. There will be people. There will be crimes committed. That much w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1039314/ This is my observation of a woman named Catherine. She has a last name too but that's none of your business. Need to know information you don't have clearance for. So for those of you reading this its Catherine nothing more. Catherine is more than enough. I think most people call her by a .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1039292/ Things have been getting to me lately. I think it started back in May when my grandpa died and I had this weird psychological thing where you basically just black out and I lost two days and ended up trying to off myself. That was embarrassing. When I woke up in the hospital room. I didn't e.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1037771/ Creeper creep upon me and......and MAKE IT RAINLet me fall inside the flame,Set fire to my inspiration and watch it burn,Let the fire teach me all the secrets I've yet to learn,Let the fire burn away the earth,Let the fire take me in and bless me with rebirth,Let me feel the thunder of the coming ra.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1037739/ The depression comes on slow, like a predator stalking its prey,Once it gets close enough it wraps around your mind like a snake and begins to constrict,It Puts thoughts in your head that cause you pain,It makes you hate yourself,Suddenly sadness courses through your veins like a poison,The sadness .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1037296/ I have loved ever pet I every dog and cat that's been part of my family.They WERE family. Not just pets.When I was a boy we had a hundred pound gordon setter named Zack,I would lay my head on his belly and feel my head rise and fall,With each of his breaths,He liked me there he never moved when we l.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1037206/ To be understood as a person is something I have never felt,To be ignored, taken for granted, tossed away, and forgotten is something I have felt many times,I sit on a shelf and collect dust,Even my words are misunderstood, or ignored all together,My writing read by few if any.....my heartIgnored, o.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1037153/ I was in a field. The field I was born in, The only place I ever knew.The grass was tall, green and went on for miles,There was a few ponds here and there,Places I could get a drink and cool off,There was plenty of food to eat. I never went hungry,There were trees that looked to be very old,I'd sit .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1037118/ A gun to my head a noose on my neck,Take it away make it stop,Physical pain that never eases, never lets up,Emotional deterioration,CryCry CryCry Cry Cry Cry,Until you run out of tears and the noose tightens a little more,So alone....so lost....dying inside.Take away my suffering if there is a god,I.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1037089/ I was sitting on my porch this afternoon, bored, disengaged, getting lost in my own head,Kids were out playing all through the neighborhood and mostly I was trying to avoid them and smoke in peace. I failed though,Out in front of the yard probably 50 feet from where I was sitting,There was a pretty .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1034934/ I'm no cat person but....I always enjoyed your company...all the way to the end,I never said goodbye the last time we spoke; I stopped doing that a few deaths back,Because I know it's not goodbye, only temporary separation,On the next plane, the next step the next trip,I think we'll all fin each oth.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1033953/ Some will say the end is nearSome will say its already here,Some don't care and just drink their beer,Others think of it often, full of fear,I know the truth, it's all a lie, a scheme a con,Because the end...well it's already come and gone,It came one night while you were asleep in.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1033232/ There was one a man. He was a regular man, Nothing was extraordinary about him.He was not the most handsome man but he certainly wasn't ugly. He was average,Each morning the alarm clock would go off at the time it was supposed to,It's sound would begin the man's day exactly as it was meant to begin,.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1033202/ I headed down the highway in my truck, The back is full of the things I thought I'd need or could sell if I needed to.The things I thought I'd need was much less than I thought it would be,The amount of things I owned worth any money was even less,I just couldn't take that place anymore, couldn't,t .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1031837/ I do not care for the whitetrash neighbors next door,Not a single one of their clan.Not even a little,I knew there would be trouble when they installed the satellite dish by the mailbox in the yard,Instead of the roof like every other person on the face of the earth,I am all for being different but .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1031401/ This is the magic I am always ranting about. It's all around us the universe....life it's self is a magical place and the journey. Through it is nothing but magic.Intertwined into our surroundings so that it can be subtle.So it doesn't blow our minds so often we can't get anything done. No you have .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1031201/  It was a dreary day,I hadn't got much sleep. I stayed up until two in the morning and gotten upat five thirty AM,I sat out on the front porch slowly rocking back and forth,My eyes burned from lack of sleep,They also looked dead from all the dope the doctors put me on,.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1030430/ There is a Morning Star somewhere out in New MexicoThe words are all smashed together and her real name is Rachel Morningstar,When I knew her she was Cordell,But she is married now and I remember thinking what an perfect name it was for her,Morningstar.....A Morning Star....perhaps at times a Mourni.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1030107/ The field stretched on as far as the eye can see like the ocean,No crops were growing just bright green grass about the height of my ankleThe horizon met the field at what looked to be a million miles away, where a bright blue sky, clouds streaking across beganThe only thing I saw was just up ahead,.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1029225/ I remember when you first started coming around back when I was eleven, Hard to believe is been almost twenty years now. Two decades of your torment,You didn't show your face at first.....I just heard you.You waited until the lights were off and I was laying in my bed ready to sleep,I heard you.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1028324/ The sight of you warms my heart, fills it with passion,My eyes drink you in and hold you there,Before carrying you to my mind,Where you dance, you move gracefully,You pull me in like a current carrying me to crystal clear pool,Your eyes are hypnotic deep and full of life,Your beauty speaks to me lik.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1028277/ I remember the end like it was yesterday,When the final pieces broke loose and came tumbling down,When the moon crashed into the earth,When devastation ripped through the world I had come to know,Like an unstoppable wave ripping through everything I held dear,When you saw me in tears and looked at m.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1027863/ Some people say that its an addiction,Not my fault an unlucky affliction,Others think I should be locked up after my conviction,I just pull the belt tight in my teeth, good constriction,Find the spot and spike the vein....BANG BANG BABY BANG,Nothing left to lose nothing more to gain,Close my eyes le.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1027191/ They call you a w***e and make you out to be trash,The bringer of evil an unholy gash,So their holy mother can take your place,Steal your cup and make it their own, spit in your face,They call your child an unholy beast,Claim its our souls you crave to feast,They warn that when you arrive it will be.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1026136/ You say you're CrAzY. You say I know that but my memory is hazyWhat I know is the world is cRaZy, And that if you look at god in the mirror you see a dog,Speak of this they put you in the machine to be a cog,Tell you there are bats in the belfry, you aren't sane,So they hook you to a machine an.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1026119/ I lied in a bed that was not my own. In an all white room that was not mine either,The room was tiny it made me claustrophobic,Silence hung over the room like a thick fog,It felt like time its self had come to a stop,All I could hear was the sound of myself breathing,The hum of the air conditioner, .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1025443/ You don't need to know anything much to understand it,You don't even need to understand it. It's something you feel,Something that moves you,Speaks to you.The bluesLike an emotion of its own its almost instinctual when you hear it,To just let go,The meaning is rarely in the lyrics,It's in the pulse .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1024495/ I tried to find you today so I could say goodby but you were already gone,I was thinking we could talk for awhile for old times sake,Talk about the weather and I would probably tell you about some song I thought you'd like,Try just to tread the surface and not delve to deep,And certainly not speak o.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1024472/ The record skipped again, I am back where I was before, exactly where I don't want to be.Back in the hospital standing in the middle of the hall,There is an IV in my arm with a tube that runs to the machine that sits on a rolling coat rack,What are they giving me? I feel strange. This all feels stra.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1024212/ He was the kind of man who struck many people as an interesting, others as just odd,He had his own way of speaking, some times in riddles or codes that only he understood  sometimes in poetry, sometimes in metaphors sometimes in just plain nonsense he disguised as normal conversation,But .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1023657/ There is a park just down from where I live, Just a five minute walk,There are woods all around it and a creek that runs through it,I have gone there since I was a child, it was a lot different back then and so was I,It was my favorite place to go. I went as often as I could, I was there almost ever.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1022380/ The Bastardsby Ryan Halterman on Friday, August 17, 2012 at 2:58am ·B******s.They are everywhere and can only be spotted by a well trained eye.Most don't realized their life has been infiltrated by them in some way until it is too late.You think you are with a person. Just another like you or.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1022365/ She thought that I would sing for her without even knowing her name,She doesn't know me and I don't know her,Not well anyway.The Earth has made it round the sun againWhile I sat puffing on a pipe in a rocking chair watching the birds,August 15th again a special day for her, the day she was born.Thir.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1021363/ The earth has almost turned toward the moon for the coming night,High above the stars prepare themselves for their nightly dance across the sky,Below them the sun has almost set over a green field in Missouri,Lighting up the sky all shades or orange like god's final pastel painting of the day,Barely.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1020844/ When you tell me you love me a great sadness washes over me,It penetrates my flesh,then, my muscle and bone and sinks into my soul,It feels like you are having the worst day of your life,Walking alone down the street kicking a rock in front of you as you go,Trying to figure out what the point of it .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019798/ You grabbed my eyes froom across the room,A smile across your face amoung the gloom,I appoach nervously picking at my hospital braclet,Took me more time than I hoped but I grabbed hold of my fear and faced it,Nervously I studdered through a joke,Hoping at the end I'd hear you laugh as long as I didn.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019763/ Your picture reminds me of a woman on an old folk album my mom used play when I was young.I would lie next to the speaker and hear her sweet soft voice go through my ears and dance inside my mind.I imagined where this woman was while she was strumming her acoustic guitar in perfect harmonic rhythm,i.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019683/ Leon Redbone blasts through the speakers as I drive at 120 down the desert highway,Laid back relaxed.The whole world....every moment since the big bangExists only in the rear view mirror,Ahead lies the unknown and I am barreling toward it full speed,125135140....the needle bounces on the end of the .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019679/ He will never forget the day he first laid eyes on her,Time slowed almost to a halt...and then,It stopped.He looked at her frozen in timeHer golden hairHer soft gentle face,That smile that shows just a few of her upper teeth,That smile that will knock you to the floor,Her thin body that though we we.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019674/ It's 3 am in the morning and this is day five without sleep,Things are changing on me,Slipping out of control.With every tick of the clock things get stranger,The room looks different...Have the nurses moved me without me knowing?It seems to stretch out into the skyline out the window.The IV is empt.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019672/ Remembering PeepawI miss you. I tried to lay down tonight and all I could think about the last time I saw you.When I had to say goodbye,I told you that you were the only real father I ever knew and you were so so sick,But I knew you heard me because I saw that single tear run down your cheek,Now you.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019670/ I have never been a fan of large groups of people,I like two or three at the most,As they continue to gather,The room grows smaller,Will they eventually crush usThere is nowhere to sit any more,All the seats are taken,You can stand or sit on the floor,You look at these people,You study this person's.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019669/ Two men walked toward one another down a busy city street,They walked at leisurely pace,No rush....taking their timeThey were well dressed men,The suits they wore were not the most expensive,They were not extravagant ..but...They were enough and each man would tip his hat,To each passing stranger an.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019667/ I first laid eyes on Sara years ago,My psychosis had gotten bad and they threatened to court order it if i didn't check in,So I went to my least favorite place in the world,The f*****g psych ward.I was sitting on a blue couch,She was at a table with other people talking away as she colored in some p.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019664/ I came across a woman tonight and there were many other women around,Many other nameless faces I could have struck up a conversation with,But I didn't talk to them....I didn't want to write about them.I had come across a woman of unique beauty there was not going to be another one of this woman.I lo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019662/ Sometimes when I feel like all the beauty in the world is gone,When I think there is no good left in the world,When I have been so blinded by the grimness of it all,I close my eyesand there you are.Permeating darkness when the sun its self could not.I see you like the women I used to see in painting.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019661/ The voices are consuming me'Chewing on my skull,Blocking my thoughts,Bending them twisting them,Telling me horrible things about me,About you,About everything.Am I losing my mind or did that already happen?Pain in my stomachLike hands reaching through my flesh and pulling out my intestines,Constant .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/dudeyanthefirst/1019659/