http://slow.writerscafe.org/PorkChopkins The original writings of author Pork Chopkins en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776024886 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 Jonas joins his wreck-of-a-mother, hiding in the basement for fear that government workers are out to get her. Meanwhile, his fifteen-year-old sister effectively staves off the sexual advances of a census worker with little help from anyone else. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/444115/ Two young boys and a self-entitled lesbian talk about their respective tastes in women on the way home from school one day. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/444114/ Once upon a time in Iowa, there as a sexually-questionable boy with had several smart-a*s friends and a mother who suffered from PTSD and they all spent most of their time avoiding Census Bureau workers. Enter pseudo-androgynous pretty girl with a crackp http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/444113/ Toby talks in his sleep. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/298255/ More undead fun with Rob and Gloria http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/298253/ Sleepwalking http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/296580/ Toby spends some time in a local 7-11 http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/296577/ George is in a funk. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/276298/ Local emo celebrity contracts gangrene at a show. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/276292/ George is afraid of worms. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/264132/ "You are a fat b*****d! ... Eating dead people, I swear to god!" http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/264130/ "Her name is Comely Sprague, and if you value your personal hygiene you'll stay away from her." After the wake, Toby meets Comely for the first time. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/264129/ Andy was dead, so he didn't really care one way or the other if George was f*****g the guy he brought to the funeral with him. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258479/ I didn't know that people could die before they turned 25. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258477/ Just another day at the Dollar General for George Rhiner http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258476/ Sad chapter. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258475/ The youngest daughter of the mayor of Georgetown suffers from a strange and somewhat disgusting condition... also, there's a tree in Georgetown that smells like unkempt vagina. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258474/ In a town where one George can beat the s**t out of another George and then get a sex change all in the same year... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258473/ George and Toby's romantically platonic relationship explained... kind of. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258472/ You should be nice to telemarketers... some of them are coked-up, gun-toting communists. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258471/ Toby OD's on Exlax http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258469/ Flower child Betty Roots finds it hard to love absolutely all of Mother Nature's creatures when she awakes to find a giant leech on her doorstep. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258468/ Toby--George's friend from college who's visiting him--gets his first glimpse of the intoxicating alluring Comely Sprague. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258464/ 20-year-old college student returns to his hometown in southern Ohio after his first year of college, and deals with a number of bizarre circumstances pertaining to giant leeches, unbearably smelly children, plus sized magical girls, and much more. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258461/ A take on the old nursery rhyme. Juvenile delinquent Little Bunny Foo-Foo is reeking havoc in the forest and the good fairy is not going to stand for it. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258458/ Several eighth graders at a Catholic school in a small town have an in-depth discussion about the very unusual new girl from the big city. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258454/ A bomb goes off in a high school parking lot and a guidance counselor finds herself trapped in her office with no way to get to the restroom. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258452/ After a long night of partying, a young woman finds that her penis is missing. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258450/ The most unpleasant woman in the most pleasant neighborhood on Earth exercises her unpleasantness http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258447/ By day he is a mild-mannered, unmotivated gas station attendant pining after the richest, prettiest, borderline-retarded girl in town; but by night he is THE PROCRASTINATOR----the worst superhero ever! http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/PorkChopkins/258444/