http://slow.writerscafe.org/Meboe The original writings of author Meboe en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776098138 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15     Enduring with patience is like a state of being almost free, but yet almost a slave.  A surreal sense of purgatory for those on the verge of a self sacrifice.  Living within a potential renewal of omnipotent euphoria.  Our free will, we divulge to capture our happin.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1424912/     This will be the concluding blog.  I will attempt to sum up everything that has been written.  I am not sure of what my future holds.  I am both confident in it and welcome it, as long as God remains my source.  I am just a simple person attempting to live a jo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1420934/     I am tired of holding a nail with one hand and driving it with a hammer in the other hand.  What separates me from those shouting judgement and crucifixion to an innocent besides two thousand years?!  It was once I, who was driven with anger and jealousy upon sitting fir.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1418399/     Only when I can remove a Hollywood type image of the Devil in my mind, the more realistic he becomes... and the more awareness of his reality, then the more deceiving of his craft begins.  His arrows have been becoming more like toothpicks.  That is, until he dipped them.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1414358/     This may result into a "subliminal blog".  I have not decided.  I feel there is only so much personal bemoaning to write about before it inscribes a blemish on God or Christianity as a whole divine family.  Why act as if Christianity were a mere task?  I cannot.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1410652/     Without anger or resentment, my past memories are being built with God's wisdom into experiences.  That is, until they are under siege from my own attempt to understand or to even ask the question; why?  My present, when viewed as  blessings from the past, are oppor.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1406632/     Since these deep and intricate words appear to be sprouting forth with meaning and seemingly coming to life.  I feel as though God wants me to dump my personal garbage out for all to see.  This is about my recent past obviously.  A story only a few have known about .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1406631/     This will without a doubt, leave me completely exposed.  For some reason, my heart is without any form of communication with my mouth.  There is only so much suffering I can hide inside... which only leads me to my keyboard.  Since I cannot communicate deeply with a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1399200/      Be it so, those 40 days that appear to play some significant role in the Bible.  I can only pray, this will be new beginnings I have been hoping for.  There is that pestering feeling of doubt that runs it's nasty course in the back of my head.  But I do not do.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1393820/        To even think of those who personally know me, to even consider me a preacher, is beyond unnerving.  I only wish them to know that I am simply a human just as they are.  I cannot figure out why it is so terrifying to me when those whom I used to party with a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1391976/         Let's for a moment illustrate in contrast of humans and automobiles.  Since oil being the "lifeblood" of it's internals, that if it were not changed, would eventually breakdown into a useless and massively overkill paperweight.  Rendering this co.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1390518/     Through my experiences, it were in those life altering paths that incensed moral decisions.  These adventures when confronted with the most painful, disturbing, and seemingly malicious treatments... were the most comforting.  Be it only when smote senseless and wit.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1389744/ I must finish something I started years ago.  It was only because of my self-centered nature that I allowed hollow worldly distractions to intervene.  Recent events slowly begin to revise itself into an epiphany.  It was only my desire for love from another that knocked me down, only .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1387832/ I find writing such as this (again) to be humiliating.  Which leads me to believe that there is still pride lodged somewhere deep within me.  With this understanding, this hostile feeling must be torn out.  What makes this much more difficult, is that I must do it, and without .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1385270/ Pride took a major blow this morning.  As a result, this is what happened.It's 4:20 am.  I am spending the night at a ladies house who I had strong feelings for.   My alarm is doing what I programmed it to do roughly six hours before, it is a nuisance to my ears.  I am o.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1384030/ My God, I can feel your love in me, now show me how to shine it without a restraining thought of myself.  My fragile mind can only fathom a fragment of Your love.  The gift of faith, such a small word with a boundless meaning.  A word that transits the gap from destruction to hope, wi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081684/ I have asked, and I have received.  Last night, at the exact moment I was naturally dozing off, some other-worldly emotion completely engulfed me for a brief period of time.  Not even realizing what it was, I could only welcome love and fear.  In an attempt to endeavor the previous ni.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081683/ In only a matter of hours I feel all hope is giving away all over me.  In the midst of doing everything I can to focus on You, including reading Your word, I can find nothing positive to write about.  To not allow this writing to sprint forth with progression without Your presence, there w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081682/ My itch to share my experiences is becoming an irresistible irritable, no matter how much I scratch, it will not stop.  If it is enough to reach another person, I would be forever grateful.  It is the love God has shared with me to allow myself to fall into depths I could no longer climb o.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081679/ To bring a human's mind to the edge of collapsing, You have reconnected to me through the use of music with the absence of alcohol.  Without the knowledge of when, with nothing left, the very moment I attempted to get back on my feet... You hit me.  You have taken my vises and desires I ha.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081678/ Six years of memories, and each individual memory scorches me to my very core.  Yet You are so far away... knowing any moment I could temporarily end my own pain.  I could easily throw back some alcohol and grant my own happiness.  To do what is wrong would feel so good.  I don't.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081676/ What have I unknowingly build around me?  Is it the love of others I have put before You?  I have not eaten in over a day.  I ask for an appetite.  I am crying for You, and You continue to tear me apart.  All I can relate to is Jesus.  Heal me, and allow me to focus on .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081671/ Why can I not find You during my good times?  I am doing everything I can to focus on You with my head up, but with a wondering mind I do little but crumble under this pressure. God is love, and I thought I knew those three words better than anything.  Only to think a modern day relationsh.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081670/ This seems to be the only peace I can hold onto, blessed with faith but cursed with expression.  The ultimate humility at my own expense.  In return I have no choice, but to bow to You.  If I can't be honest with myself, I must be honest with You.  I surrender.  I have tried.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081669/ If I could express my feelings without fear, I could get what I want.  If I cannot, then it is Your will for me to be alone... then give me the strength to fight for You instead of me.  Take away my desires.  If hurt is my medicine then grant it to me, just grant me protection in my o.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081664/ Why must I have a strong conscience with an even much more powerful flesh.  There does not appear to be a way to get in touch with my inner self.  It is even more difficult to bring light of them on a computer.  To even think I am on the verge of potentially destroying something, is e.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081661/ My mind has been scattered with confusion about peace.  I want to write so bad, only to feel it slightly premature.  I was not created to share love with my mouth, which has cost me at times.  It is sad to chase this "emotional peak" with alcohol and music.  I want to help this w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081659/ My God... get these demons off me and I will wreck havoc on this Earth. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081647/ It's blatant I haven't written a blog in a long time. Which can make me a bit oblivious as to where to start. I figure anytime would be the best time to write a blog without any pain... possibly making my writing a little rusty. It is most difficult to call to God and maintain a great relationship w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081646/ To me, temptation is a way of only relying on God for healing and triumphing over arduous situations and addictions.  Temptation can be strong as steel and weighing heavier than a few cinder blocks on my back.  Most of the time I find myself in impossible situations to even think about res.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081645/ I believe I have emphasized the importance of life.  The fact that we exist… we walk, talk, and breathe… our existence.  Obviously not everyone was born with the luxury of a silver spoon in their mouth or a loving family at that.  Now instead of focusing on the glass as .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081627/ If God is forever, then time must be of little important to Him if any importance at all.  But it is much more important for us.  This might be a possibility as to why it seems He takes forever to "act" on our behalf.   I have noticed in life the most enjoyable things in life do not a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081626/ I believe we face more challenges than we actually think, and that of varying degrees.  Challenges don't always come with pain and suffering, but with just the opposite.  It appears to be a more challenging test given to us from God.  I am referring to the healing of emotional hurts.&.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081623/ I have used in a previous blog about an analogy in contrast to the body and spirit.  I will go into detail about how the body, spirit, and mind affect one another.  I do apologize ahead of time for giving a kindergarten review of the health of a human body; most of you I hope already know .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081616/ In continuation of the previous paragraphs (blogs), I have mentioned the three most important parts of the human the mind, body, and spirit.  I will go back and elaborate more on the parable stance of this.  With a brute like ogre for our bodies, it is nothing but a puppet on strings, unde.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081615/ I realize I have gone out on a limb on this one, but I would really like some feedback, whether good or bad, all is welcome, as long as youre honest.  This blog has been cut into 2 parts because it is rather too long to put as one... and I was tired while I wrote it. :)Anyone who has read anyth.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081614/ It seems as though everything God has created, which is good, has been opposed and turned upside down by the Devil.  If the Devil is the enemy of God, then God is the perfect enemy of the Devil.  If I were a perfect archer, I would never miss the bulls-eye.  It is Satan who turned the.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081607/ If anyone has ever said being a Christian is easy, they have either not experienced being one, or labeling oneself as a Christian is a flat out lie.  It is truly the most enduring relationship that weighs the most tremendous toll on my mind, body, and spirit.  This is definitely not for th.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081606/ I am going to start this out with a slap of truth straight onto the face of the devil.  With the acceptance of Jesus Christ comes a permanent engraving of a target onto the hearts of those who just freshly started a relationship with Christ.  I have never seen a religion such as Christiani.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081604/ I ask those who know me personally to understand my situation, it is extremely difficult for me to use my mouth to vocalize my preaching, if that’s what it is referred to.  Instead I use my fingers to organize letters into words derived from within my heart that God has put there and tran.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081582/ When I think about chaos, I think destruction and total devastation with no one in control but the Devil himself.  I have never had so many hurdles thrown in my path since walking with Jesus.  With every cleared jump I feel that much more closely with Jesus… but with every stumble I.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081581/ Now I fight my flesh day and night… fighting to keep my heart open and forgiving to love.  There is not a person in this world that can heal this pain.  Only haunting me with good memories in my mind, this brings me to one of the many mysterious dilemmas we face.  Why is it we .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081580/ These few paragraphs will explain what I have personally gone through.  Just a warning… it’s not a pretty picture but it’s a picture that must be painted.  These words are simply my testimonies… a prayer I’ve been asking for years… but was answered in.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081560/ Even in a world full of hate, destruction, and evil.  We are promised glory, but not without suffering.  But the more we suffer, the more we are bound to God.  Jeremiah 29:11:  As long as God, who knows the future, provides our agenda and goes with us as we fulfill His mission, w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081550/ Going from wrong to righteous is by no means a one step process.  God intentionally made me a loving and good person at heart.  But mingling in all the sin was something God had not intended me to do.  Therefore using the hose from a holy fire hydrant to blast the dirt and grime I&rsq.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081549/ There are a lot of times especially that seem more recently than ever, that I feel like a child who sits in a room and watches through a crystal clear window.  Watching at all the others, playing and having fun outside and doing anything they so naturally desire.  In other words, do as the.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081548/ Happy holidays everyone.  Wait a minute… did I just mention that?  I meant to say Merry Christmas.  That my brothers and sisters is a more serious issue than we suspect.  It doesn’t seem like a big deal to many, just turning a few words around.  But the big deal.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081540/ Ever since the first man was made, everyone should be familiar with Adam and Eve.  Ever since they were created, for what they did, we are born into sin.  God owes us nothing.  But we are all in debt for what God has given and done for us.  God gave us His son.  We did NOTHI.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081539/ Although I mention a lot as to how great and wonderful it is to be a Christian.  In better terms, following Christ.  It isn’t always easy.  The more we follow Jesus, the more we get tempted.  The Devil has a target on every single one of us Christians.  Especially prea.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081538/ I’ve heard many times that some people don’t believe in organized religion.  That’s fine, you don’t have to believe in organized religion to be a Christian.  As long as you develop a relationship with Jesus and accept Him as your savior.  Following Jesus has la.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Meboe/1081506/