http://slow.writerscafe.org/amaterasu The original writings of author Amaterasu en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776206397 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 In many ways Christian feels blessed to have this job in a kitchen. You get to eat at least once a day which takes the pressure off a little. In the winter it's warm. He feels his time living by his wits on the street puts him at an advantage, his senses are more finely tuned, and he can think very .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1820944/ The locker room is empty save for Paul, Christians boss. Paul is a good man doing a nasty a job, and Christian feels genuine affection for him, Paul knows about his illegal relationship with Layla and chooses to turn a blind eye, and you can sense that he hates how the clients treat her. Though Paul.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1820485/ Christian wakes up to silence the shrill alarm that drags him from his dreams at 5am on cold, black January morning. After a quick cold shower to freshen himself up he settles down to 30 minutes meditation before he leaves for work. This has become a ritual for him these past few years. It centers h.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1820477/ Synopsis:The year is 2036. The world is now truly ruled by the top 1% who seized power in a global coup, executing all existing monarchies and governments. Now the other 99% exist in extreme poverty, forbidden to have money, and the only way to earn is in industry that pampers to the elite. Global d.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1820439/ http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1820431/ I read about this theory of existence. That time is one long extending line of guidance,our experience is shared through a community intelligence-Of which all life is sentient, from the bugs, to the flowers, to the governments.The line I have followed to date exists as counter-evidence.Evidence evid.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1697768/ It's not the first time I have licked the blood from my fingertips, painted myself scarlet with lust while lips turn blue through the last chocked breaths, and the last few spasmodic kicks at the life, the life that bled you dry floats away to a fabled paradise, going out in a series of ticks.There'.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1616187/ Friends, lend me your earsAs Julius is quoted (kind of) to have said to his peers, Those idle marches through the years Will lead us back yet again to these bed born fearsOf the wild that lays at the borders,At the silent sides of myriad disordersBut f**k it, for at some point we all have to crawl, .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1584483/ Words that are crisp on the tongue,That are sour note, and crackle like the birth of a storm.Ice cold fresh as the first breathFrom a long sleep, awake to the sound of the marching drums.A marching band of skeletons,Wind up, cymbal bashing sapiens flying banners,Prehensile limbs, and opposable thumb.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1574144/ What I'm about to say is not all I have to say,Nor is it another random irate tirade of venomous wordsSpat from a foaming mouth, formed in a conflicted mindIn a place of the most grievous hurts, and the blackest hates.I enter stage right to take center stageIn the spotlight, in the spotlight, stare .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1569642/ I meditate daily, it helps me to process the things that happen around me. It's fair to say I witness the worst of human nature in my work, and I'm not talking about the pedophile rings, human traffickers, mutilated bodies, or the Serbian refugees wanted for war crimes, I'm talking about the people .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1567320/ Days long, mostly numb, I'm not sure I'm ready yetTo forget, sadistic as it is to dig up bonesI like to keep the dead awake when I'm alone.When the moon is flushed of barren moor and tidesAnd the endless flocks of crows crowd the skies black,Wire frames dancing, shadow puppets in candle dim, tired e.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1565255/ Entity-Existence, being, a thing with distinct independent existence.Servitor- An attendant or servantThat's the bare bones of it. If we run with the pack, a servitor is created in our reality, an entity exists independently of our reality. A servitor is created by the magician, were as an entity ex.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1548063/ Hair dyeMake upCigarette smokeAlcoholSexSweatSleepMorning breathCrook of armNape of neckJust behind the earPowder traces left on tongueDead skin cellsScales BloodCumTears ScalpFeetMoisturiserEverything killing me.I can't keep doing this, it's just, obsessive? To a point I agree with you, to feel lik.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1543916/ The drink flowed freely through conversationsThe sun showed it's face just as it slipped by the harbour mouth into the seaReclining on a leather sofa, glass in handI saw you through the window looking at me.I'll be honest, my heart stoppedAnd for a few seconds I don't know what I thoughtI felt like .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1539603/ There's so much to say I don't know where to beginThere's so much pointless s**t in progress, or that has beenThat I can't tell matter from insignificanceHow do I respond to a wall of silence?I get that you're afraid now, I am tooTo have killed yourself three times and in the processLost everything .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1537169/ Five dollar hookers and Dime store whoresWall to wall rising through fifty five floorsLike the tower of Babel of fabled legendWhere Midas fell and Solomon ascendedI decide to dig my heels in and face whatever fate sends meI ask her what she drinksShe tells me, Cider, the girly flavoursI make excuses.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1529375/ What is now consequence started as a gameMere dalliance at the edge of the roulette wheel,Life still marginalized through the lens and in frame.Now everything comes at a cost that will become too much to payBut to exist in bliss is hard to resist But to fall into bed with nothing to say.Happenstance.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1524005/ Traditionally crossroads are places where the veil thinsBetween our reality and the othersMarking the the boundary between the dead and the livingExecutions of murderers and rapists, thieves and witches buriedTo prevent the angry spirits from haunting God fearing citizensSuicides where buried there .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1521408/ You know, nothing offends me quite like hypocrisy To see and hear you spitting venom against the enemiesOf someone who went as bat s**t as meYou're a persistent reminder of everything that preventedMy self realization and sent me on a 9 month bender, Dear.This is my life that you're now livingAnd I .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1519031/ Exhausted as I am I plan to affect your intelligenceTo reprogram your mind and become all points of referenceInherent and vital of all statistics I plan on becoming trails of breadcrumbs leading you back to all points at which you begin to existI will become the twinkle in your Fathers eye when I re.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1518969/ So tonight I played a dangerous game which will have consequences. I have always lived on the knife edge, and I have died. I think since death I long for the thrill of the unknown, and life is nothing. Nihilistic? Yes, but it's the horrible reality that awaits you when you come back to it. Right now.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1515122/ FrustrationsNations of the apocalypse 5 door carsPortals to a new way of beingThe s**t you leave behindAirportsLiving with your heart and thinking with your mindThis time-travel obsession Like you can go back and erase the pastAnd just like that return to the presentI have not been sent from heavenI.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1514577/ When I shine you'll see me comingLike a second Sun surfing the contours of the horizonBut right now I'm burningAnd you fall before me like dominoesAnd the deal is shitAnd you're forced to foldHell hath no fury like thisBut to force a reaction would make me complicit In murder, of which likes are qui.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1514112/ In time lapse bad time frame continuity Strobe passes through green pastures Superimposed on sheet on sheet of frosted breath glassRepeats in to the distanceI see eye flash and white teeth bare And in moving closer poles shift and ice breaksThrough fingertips I feel a pulseRhythm beats in to my soul.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1485657/ Today is the 16th January 2015, and today Fiaren came into my life. This is to record our bonding and our life together.I don't think I'll ever forget the bonding ritual. I wasn't nervous, I had no great expectations of how events would unfold, I went in with an open heart and mind. Slight comedy mo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1472382/ It has been a lifetime past, watching the dust drift, and the moons cat sick mewling. I've waited to write this for so very long. The book of pains has passed into the realms of the past, and I no longer feel the separation of coexisting realities, nor the division of myself as acutely, not like in .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1468506/ A Grimoire of chaos magic which contains elements of hoodoo, voodoo, psionics, radionics, and invocation. More will be added as my knowledge grows. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1452208/ The rain is caustic. That's the only way to describe it - it burns when it hit's your skin, it stings your eyes it's so cold, and constant. The air is cold-humid, dense like wading through shallow water, it hangs in grey mist that traps the coal dust from the factory chimneys that line the horizon a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1448064/ Life is an exercise in accepting that things just happen. We drift along from one anchor in time to another, and after so long drifting you start to accept the feeling that any idea of destiny or fated, meant- to- be's, are just ideas, s**t just happens around you, and you either do it too or you do.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1433505/ The books I've writtenAnd the books that I've readThe ghosts of the lovers that I have bedThe endless trail of cigarettes and Discarded bottles andWords left hanging on your lipsMilk-soft flesh and I only ever wanted this.I only ever wanted this.To quote the tragic done and saidTo live a life withou.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1429409/ This is bitter resentment, it's vile, it's written from the corner that I'm backed up into by well meaning friends and family who want to help me, and I hate them for it. I can smell sweat, and feet, and s**t, stale cigarette smoke and alcohol, urine. I have sores at each corner of my mouth where my.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1425552/ I need to record this to remember it.You have been in a relationship since August. All the rumours about Barney started early August, I confronted you both about it around the 7th or 8th, this is when s**t started getting back to you that I was talking to other people about, namely Barney and Angie... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1421291/ qPrincess/honey bee/baby/Nathalie, this isn't easy to write, and before I carry on I need you to know that I did love you. I loved you for who you are, the good and bad. I was immature and stupid, I was mentally unstable, yes, we both made our mistakes in the relationship, but never for one second w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1421231/ Despite everything, all the hurt, I still love you.I know there's no going back now.I miss you so very much.I remember every hard word, and I'm sorry.Do you have any idea how much you've hurt me? You told me you could never give up on me in such a dark place.Please come home.I don't think I can ever.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1418757/ The day begins as any other day begins. The first grey light superimposes itself between the cracks in the clouds and with it comes the first of the haunting memories. Where are you now? Are you asleep in his arms? Are you f*****g him? The thoughts are intrusive, there is no more sleep from here on .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1418073/ You have to realise that there's no going back now, you have to do the hardest thing and let go, move on. This is no way positive, look at what it's cost you already, two jobs, friendships, nearly your life twice, hospitaised twice, sectioned, your home. Nothing good has come from this experience, y.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1416571/ The thoughts are creeping back into my head again looking for the dark places that were there home for so long. Do I want them back? No, I know what they do in there, they steal things and replace them with their own creations thinking I wont notice. Most of the time I didn't notice until the damage.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1415581/ Without doubt, on the whole goodbye's are terrible things. Occasionally you can't wait to get away, but on the whole I've never said goodbye without tears welling up in my eyes, they always hurt, there's always something you don't want to let go.Today I said goodbye to a home that has sheltered me t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1415179/ I wont make this as long as the last, they're really isn't that much to say. I'm hurt, I've been through hell, and I just can't take it. I've done enough damage to be sure that I actually die this time. You couldn't have helped me, it just needs to stop now. I'm not wasting anything, I'm not throwin.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1412205/ life finds ways of slipping through the cracks in the plans, life turns on you when you least expect it, it's a vicious w***e, and it's terminal, it's a life sentence. From the moment you're born untill the last breath, you're trapped here. You can find ways of escape through drink, or drugs, sex, a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1411584/ At the age of thrity five I can safely say that it's been a wild ride. I have experience that can only be measured by the meteric f**k ton, I have pushed myself beyond my capable limits in every conceivable way and then some. I blame the likes of Burroughs, and Kerouac, my Mother blames the world at.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1411033/ I don't like how crazy this has made me, it's eating me up, and I can see how I'm acting, I'm acting like the psycho ex. The thing is, I can't get it out of my head, I get these horrible thoughts of you two f*****g, of you asleep in his harms, or you both laughing and smiling, and it's like a knife .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1410835/ "I get that, but I'm trying to move on."I'm trying too, but it's hard, and I don't want to. I miss you, I still love you, and it hurts. I just can't let go, I can't let go of wanting to take care of you, and be there, and I'm so sorry. Loving you is breaking my heart, over and over, but I just can't.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1409070/ The night we talkedEvery word a honeyed lozenge dripping from your lipsSucked smoothLike a sea washed pebble on a vast expanse of shore.We walked among the driftwood, and discarded bottlesMemories of celebrationOr one mans drunken griefIn the face of a howling wind, and wild waterThe cliffs black ag.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1408587/ I don't really feel the sting of six am cold, cowled as I am, wrapped in layers, and fire burning in my belly. I warm my hands around a coffee mug and smoke endlessly, feverishly scratching away my thoughts onto paper. How long has it been? Over a month, I'm certain of that. I wonder if this still h.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1408341/ The day starts early, and it's cold waiting for the sun to rise and hit the sweet spot between the bamboo, and the oleander where I shelter from the fresh breeze of new beginnings.Night falls quickly, yet still the vestige, the memories of what has been linger. Fingers traced over skin, the gentle t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1405506/ So the first (or last) clear memory I have is of escape. No definite plan, just move, get the f**k out. There was grief before that, I cried so much my lungs hurt, but the catalyst was ESCAPE. Things escalated rapidly. Escape turned into "Lets go play with the traffic!" My brother on the phone to th.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1405207/ I write and I write obsessively. I write the demons from my head, I write because it brings me closer to you, I write because in some part of every random tirade there's something I need to say that I.Just.Can't.Articulate. I can't say it to you (you) It gets out of my head, even for a little while,.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1402615/ as above, so bellow http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/amaterasu/1402450/