http://slow.writerscafe.org/zava_t The original writings of author Tracy en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776037547 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 Sometimes I wonder what it would be liketo close my eyes and just disappearTo fall to bed and cover my eyes from the lightto never feel the sadness so nearThe thought of climbing into bedof my heart beating furiously against my chestthe flashes of emotion drumming redthe thought o.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/422950/  When the police arrived and took Aidan away, I should have felt relief. He was finally out of the cold and off the streets. He’d gone peacefully so I knew he wouldn’t get hurt. Yet I still didn’t believe that he was the killer. Technically, there was no physical evidence ag.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/422948/  I slept there on the bed beside her, fighting intermittent spells of delusions. Every creak of the house was Eric slipping through the door. Each time the pipes hissed through the walls I imagined those hateful words whispering across the back of my neck. The man disgusted me. I should have .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/421415/  Waves crashed against the shore, licking the rocks with salty spray. Gray filled the sky, the sun just an outline of shimmer against the cloud cover. Salt was thick on the air and I inhaled greedily, feeling it burn my nostrils. A few gulls wafted lazily on the breeze, either unaffected by t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/420108/  Sometime before I’d fallen asleep, Detectives Busby and Peters made their way to the hospital. One of the nurses outside my room had spoken a bit too loudly and both Evgeni and I realized that news of my hospitalization had made the media rounds. Apparently reporters and ready-to-flash.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419717/  It was another week before Evgeni made it home. During that week he called me fifty times a day to make sure I was okay. More than once he threatened to come home and shirk his responsibilities to the team. That was what I wanted more than anything. To be in his arms. To have his arms around.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419716/  The kids were unsure of the crowd that had gathered outside the house. Reporters who wanted a scoop. I tried my best to reassure the kids that everything was okay without revealing exactly why our home was under siege. All through dinner I had to keep checking to make sure the drapes were pu.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419714/  It was well past midnight when Evgeni and I finally made our way out of the station. The police department promised as much anonymity as they could but it was apparent from the swarm of reporters outside the station that their discretion had been compromised. We had to be escorted to a polic.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419712/  For the next month or so we were all pretty much so on high alert. Whether we really expected Kip to return to Rockport or not, the thought of him coming back for Audrey had us all biting our nails. But somehow life had managed to fall back into a stream of normalcy. It was September. Late.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419711/  Eleven weeks pregnant. The baby bump hadn’t grown much in those two weeks, but I knew that the babies were growing rapidly at this point. They were likely to move almost constantly, yet I couldn’t feel it. My maternity clothes were a bit too big but they were comfortable. Fatigue.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419710/  Samantha and Sara were upstairs packing a bag for me and Evgeni although we didn’t much for Boston. The apartment was his domain. A place to crash after a long flight or late night game. It wasn’t home but it would be safe for a while. Home was no longer safe.   &nbsp.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419709/              My heart thundered in my chest, beating so viciously against my ribs that my very bones started to ache. There was no way I could force myself to breathe, even though I kept reminding myself I had to. Every memory from that m.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419708/  Max’s third birthday party was a big deal. Any occasion to get together with our friends and family was much appreciated but it was our little boy’s birthday. We also decided that while the kids were busy running around the yard and preoccupied with bouncer tents and cake, we wou.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419707/              It’d been six weeks. Sara hadn’t even spoken to Burt. The two were on the verge of collapse. Every time he called the house I’d have to tell him that Sara was not going to speak to him. She ignored ever plea.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419706/  For three weeks I would speak to Aidan over the phone. It was just a way to get comfortable with each other but I’m sure he felt like it was some form of torture. He would rarely speak more than to answer a question I asked of him. Most of the time I dreaded the call, but Evgeni though.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419705/  When Calvin stopped by the house the next afternoon, it wasn’t expected but not surprising. Calvin Johnson had been Evgeni’s agent for longer than I’d known him. Sometimes Calvin would drop in unexpectedly just because he and Evgeni had become good friends through the years.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419704/              One year. We’d been trying to conceive for one year. Marina was six. Max was approaching three. I wondered how many pregnancy tests we’d gone through in that year. More than a dozen. More like two dozen. More ovul.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419703/  Just four short months after Marina was born Evgeni and I married. It was a beautiful night time ceremony that took place in mid September. Summer still lingered on the east coast with barely a blip of breeze wafting across the lawn. Sara and Samantha had exhausted themselves planning the oc.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419702/ This is a sequel to No One's Puck Bunny----about six years later. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419701/              At eight days old, Marina watched her father fighting his way for the most esteemed honor in hockey tradition. Both she and I had spent three days in the hospital. Once we were home in Rockport we hardly left the house. She l.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419398/  I woke up alone in bed. Evgeni had gone to Detroit that morning. It took some convincing but he’d gone. The Braxton Hicks contractions were far behind me although my doctor did order me off work until the pregnancy commenced. Quietly, I slipped out of bed and into the kitchen. There ha.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419397/              The next couple of weeks were really hard for me at work. Evgeni was gone more often than he was at home. Telling him goodbye was getting harder each time he had to go. So I’d bury myself at the hospital just so I didn&.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419396/              People scrambled through the house laughing and talking and shouting over each other.  Barbecue was pungent in the air, wafting through the open windows and enveloping the house in deliciousness. A mountain of packages w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419394/  The whole way into Boston I kept nervously running my hands over my belly. Two weeks to prepare for that moment and yet I couldn’t even fathom that Evgeni and I were about to have dinner with my birth mother. A birth mother who wasn’t Cindy Madison. It still felt like too much to.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419392/  For a couple weeks I just tried to adjust to the fact that I had this family. Two sisters, a step mom and a dad. In most situations I suppose it would have been normal to despise Sara and the girls. Instead, I felt close to them. Maybe it was all the mothering that Sara did I missed with my .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419390/  Painting the living room was a task that I went about as if it were a solo surgery I’d earned. I draped all of the furniture and every bare inch of the floors with those heavy cloth tarps. When I first poured the brilliantly deep green paint into the pan I could almost feel my mood lif.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419388/  Evgeni and I didn’t speak much about that night. I tried to go on with my life as if everything were normal. Mom was gone. I was coping with that. Evgeni was coping with it as well. My pregnancy had taken top priority in my life. I was twenty-seven weeks along. Standing up on my feet f.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419386/              Mom’s funeral took place three days later. I wanted a quiet little gathering. I didn’t expect that many people would show up for the services. Mom didn’t keep many neighboring friends. So when Evgeni and I s.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419384/              The house was full of people that day. Evgeni had invited some of his teammates over to help with the move. Danni invited Curtis Means over to help. Curtis brought his younger brother with him to help, and I’m sure to g.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419383/  We spent three days trapped in the house. It was one of the most intense snow storms I’d ever seen. Being in California all those years, I took for granted the fact that Rockport could be buried under two feet of snow in a matter of hours. Work understood. The lot was buried in snow. M.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419382/              Rumors intensified at the hospital. Everyone was certain that I was getting it on with Evgeni. There was no denying the chemistry between us. Anytime I walked into the locker room on those early mornings, talk would start abo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419380/              Work was extremely hectic. Even though I was supposed to start out slow there was really no possible chance that I could. The harsh northeastern weather caused lots of freak accidents that kept the hospital jumping with activ.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419378/              Waking at the crack of dawn was nothing new to me. I still hadn’t totally adjusted to east coast time, but I was getting there. Falling asleep in a puddle of tears each night helped a little. I pulled myself out of bed,.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419377/  As soon as the lights went out and the music started the crowd was insanely loud. An announcer came over the speaker introducing the crowd to the impending matchup. Player names were given as each team made their way through the tunnels and to the ice. Everyone stood for the anthem. There wa.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419375/  I snuck out of the house early the next morning, before anyone had a chance to wake. Morning sickness had woken me from a dead sleep. Spending the better part of an hour hugging the toilet bowl had only reaffirmed what I already knew—I needed to start my prenatal appointments as soon a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419374/  Once during the night I think my eyes flickered open. Whether it was a dream or an absolute vision I couldn’t be sure. The bed was so warm. The night had felt so cold. Tears had overwhelmed me one too many times. So when my eyes flickered open that one time and I saw some dark green co.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419373/              God took pity on me that night. I fell asleep sometime after four. It was a deep sleep. For the first time in a week, I actually awoke feeling refreshed and capable of functioning. I stretched on the bed, enjoying what appear.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419372/              It was an incredible drive that didn’t seem to have the same effect on me as it’d had eight years ago. My car wasn’t the same. The smooth ride should have been comfortable, but I seemed to be suffering from .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419371/              Growing up with my mother wasn’t the easiest feat in the world. My earliest memories were of feeling like I didn’t belong. As a little girl I always craved a normal childhood. I guess that just wasn’t in the.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419370/ Tallulah runs from life in California and the boyfriend/fiance she's spent the past seven years of her life with. She runs back to Rockport, Massachusetts and the home she hasn't been back to in eight long years. When she shows up on her mother's doorstep http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/zava_t/419369/