http://slow.writerscafe.org/TheMartyr The original writings of author t.m. en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776050714 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 in the silenceit's so loud it drowns out the quietit numbs the feeling of your hand in MineAndit numbs my head to the buzzing words you're spewing nowbecause all I hear is the loudest whisper to ever Degrade and break my heart:"Do you want the truth?""Yes""it's her"do I.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/2812868/ Four 3.2i found you in betweeni liked you when i wasn't lookingi liked you when we laughedi loved you when i was hurting myselfi loved you when you were the best of mei loved you silentlyi haven't let you go http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/2776074/ 4. "3.2" http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/2586625/ 3. "5.15" http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/2586602/ 2. "10.15" http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/2586582/ 1. "4.18" http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/2586513/ Trash http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/2467161/ It feels like I'm drowning. I'm second guessing my life. I'm suffocating in this silence. I want to talk to you about the things going on in my life; I want to ask about yours. I want to joke and argue with you. I want to talk nerdy. I want to know how you are, but I told you I'd respect your reques.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/2030932/ Can you hear me drowning now?I'm holding this bottle and eating all these pills,Looking at the ground.Can you see me falling down?I was chasing angels but caught by demons,Led forth by heathens.Can you see me dying now?I thought I could fly if I tried to,But I hit pavement thinki.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/2029884/ I hate myself for it http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/2028504/ I hate you. Except, maybe I don't. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1832574/ There's something about youThat caught my attentionBut now I've gotta leave real soon,Cause I can't stand my feelings being in suspension.I think you understand me,I think you see the world the way I do,Why you?You could've been real cool.Instead, I got trapped in my headI'm sure.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1832557/ I was doing fine until I woke up And found myself incredibly confused.I'm made up of all these complex thoughtsAnd every other one seemed to be about you,Except for one fleeting moment it stopped.It twisted my insides and made me sick.It's time for me to do what I do best:Run away fr.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1831768/ I am in control of what I feel,The majority at least.I have this fear that,Without explanation,Seems irrational to many.But I know one of these daysI'll open my mouthAnd let the words spill outAnd I won't be able to stop.Not as I know the answer that I will inevitably receive.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1818608/ I am afraid of so many thingsBut I act as though I amFearless.Words have failed me beforeAnd I fear that they will again.I am scared of the word no,But I am scared of the wordYes.My fears are not always rational,But I suppose neither am I.My impatience scares me,For it .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1817627/ Late night thoughts http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1817425/ Impatience makes my skin crawl,Waiting is not a strong point.When I hear nothing I worryAnd my anxiety builds Wrapping around me like a straightjacket.I worry that I am forgotten or ignoredMy greatest fearsYet a wish that needs explanation.I'm able to spill my guts late at nightLik.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1817057/ I thinkToo muchToo far aheadI thinkToo littleAnd then regret.Overanalyzing,An art I haveMastered.Over thinking,An anxiety attackIn the making.But I do these thingsAll the timeFor what? http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1816380/ We're born with this natural, innocent ability to love without prejudice or fear. We start out loving without guidelines. It's only long after we take our first breath, our first steps toward death, that the world corrupts that way of loving and living. If you are born with a penis, they wrap you in.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1815976/ N/a http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1815968/ There's a place that I used to goWhere there's art on the wallsAnd I could see everyone with their dreamsIn their own little world,All while I, too, was waitingTo be in my little worldThat I refused to believe was made of glass.Sipping coffee and sketching;Walking around and seeing t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1814178/ I say too much But the problem is my words are never enough.It's almost like my mouth was sewn shutBut on someone like me That would be far too much mercy.I wish someone would take this pen from my handsAnd finish the pages so that I don't have to,But where's the satisfaction if it's n.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1779440/ Ever actually followed through with a dare? http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1774475/ They make me say "Happy Mother's Day!"And someone asks me"Are you a mother?"I tell her no,Out of fear of judgement.Out of confusion.Are you a mother if you never had the chanceTo hold your childAnd watch them grow older?To love them and give them the world,As best you can?T.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1773850/ Push me down,Leave me behind.Break my heart,Bruise my body.Kill my self-esteem,And drown my dreams.I let you do whatever you want to me.But guess what?I'm still here.Burn out?I refuse. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1773670/ I said goodbye to a girlWho lost her world,Hoping to get out of limboSo she can find home.She sees beautiful colorsAnd her heart beats blue,Because it burns like a star.There's a fireAnd she has tried to put it outBut she's learnedMaybe it's best to let it burn.Even if so.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1770953/ What if I saidI'm so sick of everythingThat's inside my head?What if I told youI think I'd be So much better off dead?What if somedayI wrote something happyInstead of misery? http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1770449/ Death does not necessarily scare meIt's the part where I die alone.I want someone to be beside meAnd hold my handUntil I close my eyes forever.I hope I opened up enough for the momentBecause it was all I could handle for now.I'd like to tell you the other things to go withEveryth.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1766353/ I guess today is the dayChosen by my sick fateTo put me in my place.Reminded where I belong,I'm questioning whyI am not yet gone.My existence is a mistakeThat I am supposed to fixWith a shovel,For I dig my own grave.Why make someone elseDo what I still can?I'll bury m.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1765553/ I am stuck going in circles,A hell that I inadvertently createdFor myself.Pain like I have never knownIs the gift I gaveAs a reminderThat I will always fail.It is my own mind and thoughtsThat prosecute me daily,So that when I sleepI am hanging.I am covered in marks thatWill n.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1762164/ The world around me seemsJust a little bit smaller everydayBut the demands of othersGrow and change and shoot towardsThe sky.With every one, My spirit dims a little more,So that, soon I fear,It may die. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1757766/ I spend my time trying to stop others from being like me.I tell them the things people tell me,About how I want them to liveAnd breathe and begging themPlease.Please don't. You're important.They say the same things that I do,No, I don't think so.They tell me that their ch.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1757105/ this is the worst piece of s**t I've written in forever http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1751953/ What is it that I care about anymore?Clearly not myself, but maybe anything else.I care about the money I'm not makingand I care about the people for whoma smile I am faking.I care about explaining awayall the red that seems to dripand show up on everything.I care about how to get myself outof .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1751945/ without your help. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1747928/ "I ask for so little. Just fear me. Love me. Do as I ask, and I shall be your slave." -Jareth "You have no power over me!" - Sarah http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1747491/ She moves her fingers across the keys Writing a symphony For the girl who walks the stars On them drawing hearts.She's got them all mapped out on a chartTo follow Even though she's seen the stars break And tear apart.She's trying to catch up,Her biggest fear that she never will,A.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1746707/ Right now I'm dying,Let me tell you some things that still have me breathing:Sitting with me while I panicked, All because I hate my body.Someone listening to my generic break-up cries,And seeing past it but giving their best advice.Superhero shirts and converse.People who stay.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1744450/ I know of an empty stomachI know how it feels to have blood drip from in between your fingers.I know how it is to never be good enough.I know of monsters in mirrors;Of the pain endured as the heart shattersand falls to the pit of the stomach,leaving holes that you're scared to find... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1744434/ If you knew, Would you smile at me? Would you even look at me anymore?If you knew,I'd tell you I'm sorry.I'd change it if I could.Tell me what you want me to say,Before I leave I want to see you happy.I want to know that you're protected.I want to know that you can one day see Ev.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1743424/ I killed myself in my dream last nightBecause I could not do anything right.I bled out on my bedUnderneath a pile of blanketsEven though I'd never be warm again.In life I know all of my thoughts are sins,And I'd try my hardest to push myselfTo make one person happy,But their smile wa.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1742685/ Beware the world and the things that it holds,For the hurt isn't always worth itAnd people are never perfect.As you grow you learn it's your job to keep yourself safeAnd that you can't always achieve gold.The walls you build can be conquered So make sure that your heart is prepared.And.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1742308/ I found this light andIt was so brightThat I covered my eyes.I hid from this sunAnd kept my world so darkThat the good from the dayCouldn't permeate my mind During the night. When my eyes would closeI was gone in a world thatDestroyed me until next I would wake.After so long th.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1741479/ I am always fine. Never again will you see me cry. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1740906/ I have hated myselfBut never like thisEverything is so wrongIt makes me sick.The result of itHelps me survive But I am not livingAnd I'd much rather die.I numb myself every time,But afterwardsI'm left dirty and trying,Lost inside and crying.Slipping through mudAnd dir.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1739220/ This death is slowBut it's one of whichI am deserving.I've given so muchTo this sickness.It lives in every thoughtThat isn't occupiedBy the one personWho keeps it all at bay.It makes my decisionsWithout consulting my better judgement.It whispers at nightWith words t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1734059/ I was designedwith weakness,with fatal flaws. I shall fall, kneel and bow, to the strengthof my heart.My head playsa mere minor roleto smother the words,to cover my mouth,yet still finding a wayto let it all out.I was built like Rome, not in a day,but over the .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1733695/ If only... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1730986/ You carry the weight of the world,still every day,you wake.You spend your timetrying to changethe fate's design,even if you don't mean to.I watch, sometimes, andwhen the sun shines right,I see the universein your eyes.I could count the starsif you'd let me close enough.I wish all of those plane.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1730686/ if only i could fix it http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/TheMartyr/1727858/