Jessica Gillitzer | WritersCafe.org

Things we choose to loose

Painful writing therapy over a love I lost.

Just Leave The Way You Came

Going through a bad break up where I believed in someone and the dreams they sold, just trying to come to terms with yet another disappointment found in the selfishness of humanity

No One's Daughter

Wrote this to deal with feelings I've had from being disowned and abandoned. Still not resolved lol =oP

She Died In That Town

Recently reminded of a past I put far behind me, still want to forget.

So Lost In You

I'm in pain =o(

The Melancholy Rose

I loved her... I really and truly did

Knowing No Better

I know no betterLost in this conquest of loveAs if love were new lands offering freedom and some unimaginable redemptionLove makes of me a good slaveIt's the cage and shackles to break me, ones I repeatedly place myself inWhy do I believe I'll find peace and meaning in this self imposed slavery?I st..

Something Real

Say something real...Grabbing my shoulders she stares into my eyesWhat should I divulge, do I tell her I'm just a mess and this is the best of what you'll getI can't avoid her glare as she seeks answers for all the broken pieces that are meShe wants truths I've tried to convince myself were dreary l..

The Little Things

For the love of the little thingsI dip my finger in my coffee and twirl until the liquid begins to spillYou frown and say of such childishness you've had your fillI frown and bite my lip, refusing to let my whimper outYou immediately respond for me not to poutI lay my head on the table as you begin ..

Dead Leaves And Memories

Upon this floor scattered like Autumn leaves caught in the wind are the pictures and trinkets of my memoriesI lay here surrounded by a past that promised possibility in this moment of unwavering certaintyCertainty that these leaves have turned and fallen, victim to time and careless hands of my natu..

Burn It Down

Burning it downEvery moment drowned, every hope measured pound for poundDreams for kindling, within me an air supply dwindling Desires flicker and fade like embers, holding on to the fire I rememberBurning me to the ground, no helping hands aroundStill burning it downIf it's a happiness I can't..

Her Arms Ensnare

Musical Accompaniment Laying here I take in your sleeping figure, the way moon light defines your cheek bonesHow in dreams unknown to me your eye lashes flutter but the depths of your soul stay hiddenI trace your shoulder with my finger tips, many nights it seems like scaling heights meant for ..

The Edge of The Wilds

I linger where you are, I search your eyes as they look right past meThey're a kaleidoscope of broken hopes and haunting realitiesYou're looking at me directly now, but your eyes tell me you can't see me anymoreYou see every moment that fell apart, every thing you wanted I can't give youSeeing me fo..

What I lost

How muchHow much pain is too much?If we put it in a measuring cup could we pretend it's sugarAs if the pain would sweeten the moments best refusedHow many How many lies paint a different hue?If I mix them enough would they blur realityAs if lies were color and we could capture a rainbowHow ofte..

Hoping For More

You said you’re here for me,I lied when I told you that was something I could see.You claimed to be my rock,But you’re more like an unopenable lock.You said you’d help me find my dreams,But no sooner have I written them and you’re tearing them from my ream.I nee..

7/11

A day of need

I Miss You

Sometimes no matter how hard you try or right something feels it doesn't mean it works out that way. Life has a way of playing the odds against you and winning. Mood music at the bottom... hit play

7/3/17

It seems no matter what me and sugar will fight. Even over the dumbest things, they blow out of control. I really think she has lost sight of me if she ever had it. I just don't understand how with as much as she's been through she can't see my need or my damage, how I can't call out to her or how I..

Light At The End Of The Barrel Of a Gun

If you loved me...You could see the flowers you were crushing in your graspYou'd have shown me the sun, not taken me by the light of the moon hidden behind storm cloudsMy hands would have sought you out not have been prisoners of your strengthI would have tasted love, not dirt and blood... the taste..

6/29/17

Where do I start with it all? It's been pretty hectic inside but we are starting to get functionality back and everyone is starting to fall in to their routines. Sugar and us separated and are room mates now. It's confusing and hard to keep our boundaries sometimes. So far it has been for the better..

6/19/17

So our fights continue and we are now going to go to Ted. Things are out of hand and we're all hoping this can somehow help. Last night everyone got on board inside. Not sure where it all came from but we figured out how to accept things in a sense to build on them over the past few days. It feels l..

6/5/17

My Morning

6/4/17

The prologue and current...

Jess' Journal

A place for my thoughts and feelings about life. A story of this piece of me.

Would You Hold Me

Hold meTell me you can really see That though my tears never flowYou understand from where they came and now where I'll goUnderstand I can't let it outI can't break again to make it something we can talk aboutI'm paralyzed in fear of a past still too presentAnd I'm scared of a future I might li..

Not Lost

I'm not lost but I can't be foundI'm losing air to all that now surroundsI clench my fists and scream... but there is no soundLife and love have only seemed to confoundMy hopes and dreams only act as weights as I drownedI'm alive but fadingI think I gave up during the hoping and waitingI got lost in..

A lonely reflection

I think I'm alonea lonely skipping stoneripples reminders i am, that I am at allcrawling up wallsit's now not being able to look upwardcareful not to say another wordbut I always dolike there was a special notion I could imbueforgetful of my selfish naturevanity false but a good temporary suturespec..

One In A Billion

There's a place my mind wanders toWhere you fill voids the world createsThere's a place my heart lingers inWhere you lift me up by a grace filled smileThere is a thought I cling toWhere you are my missing pieces and our puzzle makes senseThere is a point at which I breakWhere your eyes remind me tha..

filling my tomb

I'm lost in herethis shell of stone skin becoming a prison I can't escapeslowly the waters rise and fear begins to overpower meI scream out for air, wasting the little I have remainingI can feel myself sinking, no rope, no light, no guiding voiceThis tomb I made my own, carved fairy tales into the i..

are you really listening

I get to lose me againanother pebble in the pond and pieces to catch before the windit doesn't matter what i allow to showmy love, my pain, my memoriesall my truths are illusions to the restam i then just an illusioni can't reach my voicecan't feel my face i'm just a ghost bound within a heart ..

Repulsive Magnets

I don't get a face of my own, I share this image with himI'm permitted a few brush strokes of his artistic spaceAs with all things I am a small aspect in a bigger picture to himI'm inspiration hushedHe says we find compromises, not possible when I must take what I can getI'm curled in a ball in my f..

That Sound is Me

Just expressing what I can't say

The Filly And The Colt

My first love experience in poem form. This song made me think of it :o( < 3

Cheap Shots

The falling out that leads to endless harassment.

Bath Time

My time.

Spider Webs and Telephone Calls

I don't want to talk but you keep calling.

I Am Weak

Had something go on today that made me need to write this.

Private Hell

My "Private Hell", What's yours?

Me And Her

She used to make me purr

Get Out

After it was all over I made him move out.

Someone else's arms...

No one such choose to endure ongoing harms.

Picking Petals

"So I'm drunk on love" "But I'm sick on envy"

"Just Friends"

When friends want more then you have to give.

We Are : To All My Family Here

Made of stars and more.

Vanity Adored

I need to be adored, especially when they will do anything to prove it.

If Love Were Flowers

He used to call me by the names of many flowers

Tattooed!

I GOT INKED!!!

Tattooed?

I am going to go get a tattoo soon so I thought I would write out my anxieties with the idea, and give it a little humor.

Of Ecstasy

Erotica I wrote after going to an S&M show with a friend. I got to participate and wow was I shocked to find how kinky I was.

My Best Friend, The Beeping

I spent alot of time in and out of hospitals. So I write about it.