Lauren N. Rodriguez | WritersCafe.org

The Attempt

Making myself for lack of wordsI begin to writeIn hope that I am heard And fumbling with inkIt is then I thinkThat thoughts cannot be writtenWhen it all begins to sink So I set my pen downLet the ink refillLoosen my mindIn search of a wil..

Driven Deep

In the depths I had been forsakenLost without a causeTrudging through the fusion of hydrogenand oxygen alikeI saw my last breath trapped in bubblesWatched them float up freelyWhen I knew that I would only sinkBut panic must have drowned firstFor without air I had no w..

Perfectionem

First poem I have written about my boyfriend:)

Again

And again we lie before the same old stageAmongst the tattered curtainsAnd scripts of ripped pagesWe face the creaking floorScarred surfacesAnd hidden trapsDimming lightsOf forgotten shadowsWe sit in the darkAmongst the gallowsAnd no ordinary play we've chosen to seeNot of comedy and joyful tearsBut..

No Sound

There's an absence in the airThere are no vibrationsWhere is the sound?Where have you gone?Bring back the bass,For I am in need of heavy loneliness1-19-12

Realizations

Let them wonderWhere I've wentLet them see How I've weptAll the secrets I tried to hide,They're coming out;They're still aliveWalking on,My eyes are fullWalking on,Head held highHand in hand with Mom;this is how it will always beAndIt's finally happenedWe're all breaking freeWe're leavingHe's goneHe..

Empty

And here I am In such a strangeYetFamiliar place,Out of breath;A tearful disgraceAnd tell me why I feel so emptyFind me a reason to feel wholeTell me it will all be okayPlease,Lie if you have toI'm trying to fill a voidButIt only gets deeperWhere do I turn to?To where shall I run?And if anyone loved..

Reassurance

Don't let me go;Keep the embraceLook me in the eyes,And tell me it's okayDon't let me fall apartHold me togetherHug me hardWipe away the tearsHand in my hair;Reality nowhere nearHead held high,I'm holding it all inThe secrets and worriesWhere to begin?I'm afraid to shatterAs soon as you let goJust h..

Fallout

She thinks I'm falling-Maybe I amShe thinks I'm sinking-I've already drownedShe thinks I can be fixed-The scars will always stayI'm fineI'm lyingI'll get through thisI can'tI can fend for myselfI'm done fightingShe knows I'm falling-I know it too

Disaster Approaches

Disaster approachesSuch a lovely lady in redFalls out her gleaming carriageUnraveling every threadThey kiss her handOh, overjoyed, they begBut don't they understand,She brings only regrets?She drags her dress with graceGives you that pitiful stareDon't get lost in her eyes I warn youFor calamity you..

Depression

Desire for happinessExtinguishing yourselfPerhaps, I don't need anyoneReciting old dreamsExcuses to sleep foreverSo afraid to feelSeparating the heart and mindIsolating myselfOnly music has helpedNever trusting anyone2-9-12

Worried

Will she ever find the real me?Or does she stay, or does she go?Remember when things were simple?Resting on your bed, you held my handIn this world, I only have you MomEver wonder if we'll be okay?Detached; I'm so sorry for that2-9-12

Questioning

Quizzically impairedUniversally absentEver feel alone? (This alone?)Some people never get thereTime will only tellI used believe I was worth itOnly now I have figured it outNever did I see things getting this badI never doubted myself (til now)No regrets, just forgetGet me out of this horrible place..

Resolution

I will give you no excuse to hold me back,No exception to hold me downI will give you no sign of weakness or defeat;I will certainly laugh in defianceI will give you every regret for abandoning us...Let you rot in the own remorse you have sownI will give no complaint of your deficiencies nor your la..

Distancing

Things are changing;No longer constantSomehow drifting apartFor our own good1-9-12

Insanity

The mazes,The places,It's starting againThe tears,The fears,Taking the stageNowhere to hide,No, this isn't a gameWhere to go?To run, maybe hide?No, no place for thatThere are monsters insideCatch me if you canOh, never beg for a dareRun, keep runningDon't ever look backThis isn't normalDon't ever mi..

Dwindling

And as I pass the timeAlways questioning the clockI'm sitting and waitingSo anxious to see himEvery thought in my mind threaded around himUnravelingUnveilingThat he is all my mind is made up ofAnd I count the timesDo remember my dreamsReminiscing the first smilesThat dreamy look in his eyesRecording..

Morning Confession

The love I have for my boyfriend; a spontaneous poem written for his inevitable awakening.

Sweet Dreams to You

Another poem about the love I have for my boyfriend.

The Fifth First

Yet another monthly celebratory poem between my boyfriend and I upon sharing our fifth month together.

Staring into the Nothing

Looking for what?For whom and why?I’m lost UnfoundDon’t understand this dreamThis nightmare?Reality they call itThis weird unimaginable placeWhere nothing you want is attainableAnd where dreams are put to restSlaughteredThey let their spiri..

Pleading the 5th

Sometimes it's just easier to block outthe world- such a painless act to sit there numb than to spend another secondin heartache. Would it hurt less if we weren't acting? Will it all disappear ifwe wish our worries away? Humans are so ignorant- So fascina..

Perspective

In respect and complete admiration for the way I am truly blessed to be loved by the only man in my life.

Breathing

Take this new dayThis fresh breath of lifeClose your eyes shutAnd then open them wideLove yourself onceLove others twiceBask in the dayAnd glow in the nightKnow that I smileHide it in my eyesMusic is playingAnd I feel aliveOne more dayOne more sighAnother life to expectRunningI'm runningCould you ev..

That Mood

Sometimes I think I should just be locked in a room with paper and ink. No, not even with paper, I have the walls; but what of when that space is gone? Ok, ink and paper then; in endless amounts. Sometimes I feel like I'm not meant to really live in the outside world. That I was just meant t..

Story of Us

A short piece elaborating on the relationship I share with my boyfriend.

Demons

I don't know how to explain it...sometimes it's voices...different versions of myself...some scream while others cry and some pray and dream with me always moving me forward...but the sorrowful voices...their tears drown me...suffocate me and immobilize me...those are the worst voices...they..

Within The Sanctum

One of the many poems inspired by my relationship with my boyfriend.

Quattor

In celebration of cherishing four months with my boyfriend. <3

Numb

Feeling downParalysis strikesCrunches downWith jaws that striveSink in it's ghastly teethHeartache has no cureWhen tragedy bites hardA heart may bleedContinue to runBeat it's beatBut there is no loveThe monotonous pumpingIndeed continuesBut does it still occurWhen one no longer feels?For if it doesI..

Simple Silence

Those simple steps of silenceSpeak louder than those stonesThose simple steps of silenceIndeed do break my bonesMock me oh so silentlyWith the saying of no wordsHa! Mock me oh so willinglyThinking I'm absurdAnd walking on Creation speaksWhispers in the windCries from the streamStepping cautiouslyIn ..

Soulful Deception

To those who have come to know that the worst of loves can be the greatest poison.

Unchangeable

Alighieri-inspired paradigm of boredom.

Retaining A Fistful

Incidentally confrontational.

Black Tears

Inspired by the mourning of students at my high school after the death of a fellow student.

How It Feels

Everyday thinking when thoughtlessness consumes you.

Slumbered Reality

Upon having the most realistic nightmare of the death of my younger brother.

Lost in the Ink, It's then I Write

Written in respect of what all writers do.

My Wall

A compilation of spilled ink I had once written upon my bedroom wall.

A Worthy Curse

In dedication to writers of every nature and the most blessed curse and gift we all retain.

Chaos Theory

Don't you hate how every decision affects each other?How every thought Leads to another?FocusPonderThink it straightSo easily saidTo concentrateBut these tendenciesAbrupt interruptionsHold us backRetainWithdrawPush us forwardFalling...Over the edgeWho will catch us?Threading thoughtsA tangled needle..

Only The Rain Will Know

I raise my headAnd look through your soulI taste your tearsThrough your nervous lipsYou reach for my handAs I pull awayYou comb through my hairAs I beg you to stayI rest my head on the wallAs I watch my tears fallI bang my fist on the brickAs you attempt to comfort meI feel you grip my shoulderAnd s..

Snake Charmer

Play that tune againWatch me rise from the basketSpiraling up,You've signed your casketHypnosis,I'm hookedLook at what you've doneHave you no shame,As u watch me come undone?Keep playing,I begNeed the sound of musicDancing right out Do you see how it soothes me?Controlling... Controlling...You love ..

Malignity

Wicked webs are windingTroubling tempting tastesSinking straight sorrowAlong the ailing chaseCryptic crossings creeping Cautiously so slowFathomlessly speakingHow have you gotten this lowJeopardize this jargonThrow it in the binKiss it all goodbyeAs you'll never ever winMistaken miragesForgotten fre..

Beautiful Deceptions

The lovely ghost has wandered deep inside Sits upon her lonely rest in pages; A glowing legend with secrets to hide Mocking reality, some think she’s real Others, know not to believe this appeal She’s constricting, yet gentle; don’t be fooled Toyable emotion not to be s..

Drink Me

Pour me a glass of your breathEvery emotion you hideI'm befriending insanityTaking it's handLetting it lead meWherever you standAnother round of your heartDrinking in it's beatTasting the soundThat increasing paceMy hand sliding upTouching your faceIs that your heart I hearStuck in a race?Is that my..

Winding

Pensive pleasureIrresistible ironyProvocative precautions Melodramatic miseryDecadent desireIrrational realitiesThe stages of lifeBefore fatalityAnd moral confusionsSuch folds of grayThis wretched lifeThis game we playAnd rules are suggestionsAlways meant to be brokenBut with no one to foolWe risk t..

An Occurring Thought

This uncertaintyThis mask of false securityIt is a devilA demon in disguiseA fallen angelSo darkYet hidden by the lightBut it knows notThat I know very well who they just might beKnows not that i do no longer cowerNor bend at the kneesFor pain is painNothing more Nothing lessAnd with one less victor..

Transitioning

I cannot remember- ever feeling this well Cannot recall- When paradise was never hell I cannot remember- Ever wanting to be this way: To smile on purpose; Not caring as people watch; My hair no longer hiding my eyes- This feeling inside Swelling And growing Surprise in my eyes I will never forget..