http://slow.writerscafe.org/kaelacarver The original writings of author Kaela Craven en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1775969717 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 A funny little poem written when I was a teenager. Just found it in an old box. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2862760/ Today you made me love youIn a room I could see through glassI pressed my cheek against to feel the heatSometimes I pass like air between those barriersAnd feel the fire with my handsAnd all is goodToday you made me hate youAnd I turned my head and looked the other wayI allowed my hands to feel the .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2857680/ It happened again todayCuz I'm not enough to make somebody stay"Baby I love youI still wanna touch youBut it's not something I really need"That's what they say to meIt happened again this yearI'm so good at making people disappear"Baby you're specialYour laugh is magicalBut I can't disappoint my mom.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2794283/ There's a stain on my wall where my hand reached for youI knew you weren't there but I had to touch somethingI'm in the wrong place in the lavender morningLike my days my room should be naked insteadEmpty and artless and touchless and coldWhere people speak with their backsSoon I'll .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2774478/ Just expressing fears for my future http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2763603/ It was such a pretty eveningI kind of thought it represented youI didn't know the birds were flyingout of viewA hundred decades laterYour eyes are somewhere elseBut that February sunsetHas created all my lifeIn the corner there's a Christmas treeFrom twenty years agoI didn't think it mattered B.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2760567/ I've been out in that desertOn a country store porchPale purple sunsetThose kisses that scorchHorizons foreverFloating on loveNot knowing it burnsWhen gentle hands shoveI had been back on rooftopsfires and beersNowhere to fit inJust hiding my tearsRoomfuls of no oneUnfriendly eyesIt seems never endi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2760566/ The brilliant brainCrosshatching with the vibrant sperm-headTo continue the species.Babies good.Babies bad.If someone could hand-hold them into contemplation withoutrhetoric or retro…perhaps we could all be cured. I see your collec.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2158919/ Life http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2154022/ People who have what they needBemoan being made to wait.But a road that runs toward something is easier.Here the hours melt like waxAnd cling to me in layersWith no hand to peel them off. Waiting for him, I didn't know it at the time, Was not the act of emptying an hourglass, Slo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2120991/ I was sweet and goodFor a long time I questioned nothing and I cared a lot So I took a shotAnd all my clean roomsWere ripped openHurricanes blew in Everything shook freeI stopped becoming meI fell into ruinI was bitter For a long timeQuestioned everythingUntil you shut .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2113729/ Reaching out from a cocoon and I found a room To house the ugly part of meThe crazy part of meHe offered silver slats, padded floor matsShady showers, blue flowersAnd masks.Falling down on the dirty ground and I found himSexy, brown and trimPushing over the brimHe gave me harsh pleasure and su.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/2092110/ I hold this feeling to my earLike a seashellI listen for the wavesTo lap against my legsBut still I'm standing in the desertIf I could see your eyesBrush my fingers on your facePut my cheek under your jawI'd be homeI'll sleep under the starsSo the night could be our blanket.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1918945/ It was cold outIt was darkJust like the space inside my heartEmpty and needing to be filledI found a flicker of a flameHe smiled but thenHis eyes weren't the sameAs mineSo I put my hand in his and criedI laid my head on his chestTook a breath of his scent And I knewI said, you may not love meBut can.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1916410/ Is it a sin to believeIn the dreams that he weavesWith all those golden threads that rust with timeis it a sin to love someoneWho isn't really mineIs it a sin to tryTo see yourself in his eyesWhen you know all those words won't be yoursIs it a sin to love someonewhen you're not sureWhen he warms you.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1916387/ lionI write about journeys nowWhile I used to write about moments -A feeling here or thereThat burst into flame and consumed me instantly.Now my thoughts are wide and layeredLike buttercream spread across sweeping years.Sometimes I feel like I blinked and ten years went by.I saw it all and I was the.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1909986/ Helping myself to accept this experience http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1884914/ The alcohol keeps my heart beatingA poison to keep you breathingThe minute it goes you dropMy heart will stopThe veins and chambers and tissuesThey refuseThey refuse to put their work awayDespite all of my decayDespite all of my desperate pleadingDespite such bleedingDespite the lack of emotional fe.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1884878/ I miss being settled on the foam,My lightness holding me atop the waves Today I am at the bottomThe weight on my lungsLike black obsidian a hundred miles wideMy eyes are locked and my temperature dropsA stream of sun stopped But I continued to fallThe last shred of muscle absorbed With the effort of.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1882400/ Praying to ancestors on Halloween weekend, meditating and saying whatever came to mind, with some pictures of old relatives in my mind. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1847028/ Modern human disconnection http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1846557/ Baby girl had a man and a woman to cover her shoulders and make her safeAnd there were all these red bricks and dirty singers on the cement stonesBut it was always okay and she was never aloneBaby girl got bigger and found some men to cover her shoulders and make her SomethingNot quite safe but enou.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1841477/ AMERICAChildren swarmed everywhere, their over-sized backpacks eclipsing them like big colorful floats blocking crowds at a parade.Petra grabbed her oldest daughter's hand to keep her from the way of cars as Farouk pulled their second daughter from her carseat. Havlace was three and entering prescho.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1840771/ Thin threads of love across my tongueSpread out like branchesTo give me something to suck when the days are longAnd they always areSince he's been gone.I'm not surprised, I try to tell myself.I tell myself I know what happens Every time.The constant is pain.The temporary is pain too.I miss the days .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1834560/ let me go http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1826498/ Standing up to sexism http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1814518/ Give me "make a wish." Give me hospice. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1809773/ When the alcohol is goneWhat will I feed him,To keep him from the gnawing, nagging and rotting of my insides?What will keep it all going?All the broccoli in the world might keep my body aliveIf it isn't already destroyed beyond repair,But what will I feed to that little person inside meWho wants to .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1797873/ I'll rise up, I'll rise like the day, I'll rise up, in spite of the ache http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1793000/ I want to die in winterI hope there's a cold breeze and a light snowAnd I hope I die in Germany.I want to die in the winterWith some crystals on the windowAnd some lights hung on the housesAnd my native language isn't spoken.I want to die in whiteIn a nightgown that has lacy sleevesWith candles in t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1786324/ So open with youMy first mistakeI gave and gaveSo you could takeI knew this beforeI'm not a childBut you're not domesticYou're something wildI didn't ask for anythingSo you fed a rope to meYou pulled me in so crazy tightAnd so easy let me freeI've seen it done a hundred timesBut not with youNot with.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1783490/ I saw an animal walkingOn top of the seaI clicked my tongueAnd he ran to meSo I thought I'd get smartAnd I bought a bellBut his insides were nothingHe was just a shellThere was thick skin on the bonesEnough to eatBut he was sure full of somethingThat wasn't meatFirst I thought we'd be friendsBut he .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1783325/ worthy people don't think like thisyou point to my name, it's first on the listBut that building's so big, all with golden stairWhere women step with shoes where my tongue would beg to sharewhat man are you to talk like thisto smile and shrug when you give a toad a kisswho are youwho the f**k are yo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1780845/ Ain't nobody better http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1777387/ I wish I didn't love you so muchI wish you didn't feel so right to meI wish I could detach the word "never"From your nameSo that I could love you alwaysInstead of only in this tiny moment.I wish I could fly over oceansAnd leap across bright green fieldsI wish you tasted as amazing On my tongueAs you.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1770626/ california and oregon childhood http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1768325/ The end of alcoholism and mourning lost dreams. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1767213/ I still try to live a little bitin 2006With this incense blowing through my noseAnd this pagan chanting draining through my earsBut there's a five year old floating through dreamlandBehind meAnd I sit at this cherry wood deskAnd whatever year it isIt will always be a year without a numberThe year I .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1763327/ Wishing someone cared http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1763299/ I don't want a wedding by a Scottish mooreA stallion waiting by a castle doorNo sunset rides, no ever moreJust be real with me.I don't want diamonds worn by queensI don't want to meet the royaltyNo private jets, no guaranteesJust be real with me.I didn't ask for marble hallsMagic stuffed in Russian .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1763093/ I dreamt that Pierre pointed to fire in the hills and said, "they made the fires for me." http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1751314/ All the glowing light on earthIs nothing compared to human eyesAnd all the likes and comments and picturesThat have ever happened and will ever happenAren't quite enoughTo equal one human hug.But we're all stuck behind screensAnd medicationAnd walls are going up all over the placeBecause we think li.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1748239/ If I can't even put my feet to the floorIf I can't even bring my hand to the doorHow can I win a medal or more?If I can't even look him in the eyeIf I can't even wave as you pass byHow can I bring my heart up to try?If I can't even find a friend in my townIf I can't even find one person who's downHo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1747535/ Being a flower in a universe of treesTakes an effort that few knowAnd I push upEvery day.I don't really feel much here.I forget my color,And I question my purpose.There must be a beeSomewhere.There must be someone who wants a flowerTo pick and admire, To cure the emptiness of a table.Even when I am .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1746874/ I can place you in that category of the people who I'll never love too muchNever love enoughAnd love more than they ever neededAnd love more than they ever deserved.And the people who my big dumpster truck of hope poured out forWhile I huddled with a carrot stick of loveWhile someone screamed at me .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1742927/ It's so easy to pick up a bottleAnd say sorry, I'm losing this battle.It's so hard to open the doorPut on your shoesGo somewhere and pretend you're not bored.It's so easy to pop off the capAnd let the pain of the world fall black.It's so hard to walk those milesAnd still be nowhereAnd fake every smi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1742811/  You carry your love in a pocket Where it grows and throbs and warms you.But you can't say it. In your eyes it's thereLike an ember in the ash.In your voice it's there,Slipping out in every wordLike a sweet perfume you let me smellWhile we whisper in the night.There may be a day when .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1740430/ I could go there.I could find you in rain-wet streetsAnd under trees.In cities where strange words wrap me like blanketsAnd the sound of your voiceDrips into me like medicine.I could go into you.I could push into painAnd rub my palms into your shouldersAnd call you beautiful... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1734035/ Loving someone who cares about you as a friend. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1731555/ It felt like rushing.Like waves rushing to the warmth of sand.But little did we know that a moon in the skyHad us on stringsTo pull us Far away.Those days were like sugar,With each golden sunrise crumbling into night,And nobody caring,Because it was so sweet.Every ending meant another beginning,And .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kaelacarver/1721574/