http://slow.writerscafe.org/carltoncarr The original writings of author Carlton Carr en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776011599 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 Sigmund Freud: "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1203013/ Any 12 step program friends out there? This was written in the honeymoon period of my recovery and, almost 8 years later, I stll feel the same about this journey. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1203010/ For Robert B. 1984 http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1201410/ 09 11 Survivor Guilt http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1201388/ Adrian flouncesbut in his hearthe’s a brave warrior;a gladiator;a protectorset apart from the mincing men that mill around himlike fairy beesat the honey hiveAdrian bouncesout the doorbut in his stridehe cannot hidehis longing to bethe charming princewho saves the.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1200823/ Phillip's first lover is a straight boy. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1200804/ Daniel's story. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1200510/ He’s gotmusic in his fingersrhythm in his bonesa sparkle in his eyesand hair that shinesand when his hands hold meI feelswinging in my kneesand singing in my hearthis tongue it curls around melike a python in the darkbutsomewhere deep inside himis a place as hardas .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1200503/ Uncle Damien gives powder an unexpected erotic gidt. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1200500/ We fall because of broken buttonsbecause of shoes discardedand hairs around your anklesflattened by sockstorn from your feetThe fleeting heartbeatcaused by buckles unclaspingand zippers and poppersand shallow lifestartledstarts sudden wantingWaiting for the wave to lick my .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1200346/ 1994 Image: Deatail from original collage http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1199565/ Dylan owns his nickname. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1199556/ 1991 Image: Original collage / painting http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1199553/ In his loneliness Phillip found a friend in Adrian. Adrian was two years older than Phillip but they were in the same grade. Adrian was very camp, direct and confrontational and this made Phillip afraid. When the other boys teased him he would lower his head and walk away. Adrian however would screa.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1199549/ I wonder could I write itthe way I used to docould I counterfeit old feelingsand memories of you?See there I go a’rhymingand the rhythms gone all wrongit sounds like sentimental crapfrom good old Patience StrongWell, I wonder could I write itif I really needed tocould I.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1198829/ her mother told hershe’d be the perfect wifebecause they’d namedher Maryand she was bornto nurture and to serveher man her mother hid her tearswhen she said thisfearful of her husbandcoming home at nightsetting his little girl upon his kneeputting her to be.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1197759/ I was stoned. I sat in the tiny lounge with all the curtains closed so that the hidden eyes that I felt were all around me; staring at me, devouring my every move, would not be able to see what I was about to do. I had attended an early morning class at college. As usual I phoned my mother from .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1197616/ If you are under 18 or find graphic scenes of gay sex, sado masochism and bondage distasteful then this is definately NOT for you. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1197536/ A savage tendernesslies betweenthe bondage of the heartand the heart’s cruel longingfor releaseWe play with itlike childrenplay with fireand between our wisdom and desirewe burnWe sowthe seedsthat flame with crimsonand hold on to thatsavage tendernesswe know http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1197364/ Phillip always knew that he was different and that his difference was dangerous, although he did not have the words to describe what his difference was. He saw that others identified his difference too, from their looks that held hidden meanings, the conversations that went silent when he came too n.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1197298/ When Phillip was thirteen he started to keep a diary. His entries were irregular; he wrote when he was down or, not so often, when he was happy. There were entries that comprised merely of lists; books to read, movies to see, places he’d been to or boring catalogues of his day: 8:00 went t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1197294/ I fearI will never fall in love with screeds of wordson screens however smalllike I fell forand still adorebooksthe look of themthe smell of themthe smell of the storesthe pristine onesor the ones with second hand bookspiled in dustwith pages that holdscribbled in the m.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1196826/ The daythe one night standsjust had to stopI read the stats of deathand thought abouthow life had floppedI felt the stranger’s handsand the stranger confessionsfalling from my lipswith the sips from the cupthat had been passedfrom unknown lips to lipsSomewhere we ha.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1196595/ Phillip remembers the humiliation of his first day at school. He felt abandoned and alone among all these strange, rough children. Half-way through the morning he wet his pants in anxiety. He watched the darkening patch spread in his new grey shorts and felt the warm liquid drizzle down his thigh. H.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1196588/ This is a havenfrom the razor edge of nightwhere flames of hellstill burnbut not so brightWhere sorrow isbut sorrow is not feltwhere the orbit of the eartharound the sunhas stopped its flightOne moment to sleepas though in deathto breathe the breathof lifea dying brea.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1195991/ When he was five, Phillip was left in the bath one day to play with his plastic toys. At the end of the tub, on a wooden tray, stood his mother’s bubble bath and sometimes she would spoil him by adding a capful to the water. It smelled of lavender and he loved the feel of the bubbles bursting .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1195979/ Τђє Reviera Bar, Durban, some time in τђє seventies http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1195579/ Dorothea carried the innocence of childhood with her into her teenage years. She was always treated as the baby of the family; always kept in the dark about anything that her parents or her siblings thought might hurt her or tarnish her innocence.When her first period arrived, without warning, a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1195558/ My present situation; trapped in a abusive situation. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1195211/ Dorothea was disappointed when Phillip was born. She’d longed for a daughter who’d realize her unfulfilled dreams and ease the pain of her unhappy marriage, but Phillip had arrived with an appendage that couldn’t be ignored.Now, when the dark clouds of depression gather in the .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1195204/ 2008 To my parents from my inner chil http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1195030/ Phillip was very young when he began to hear the other voices. They seemed to come from the house itself; oozing from the walls; dripping from the ceiling; coalescing in sticky puddles under his bed; whispering, laughing, singing, screaming. Instinctively Phillip knew that if he told anyone abou.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1194727/ Phillip hears other voices and they haunt him. A semi-autobiographical novel about triumph over adversity. What are your other voices saying? http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1194723/ 2012 Image: Detail from an original collage by Carlton Carr http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1194531/ For Pooh - This is not a new poem dearest: but it expresses how I feel about you. Image: Original collage by Carlton Carr http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1193868/ 2012 Image: Detail from original collage by Carlton Carr http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1193585/ 2005 Image: Detail from original collage by Carlton Carr http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1193363/ Image: Original drawing by Carlton Carr http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1192984/ Vincent's hand holds more than just this part of me his dark fingers curl around my pale dignity and all my prowess and stern pretensions disappearWe ease into the traffic of the Northern freeway and begin our play the radio plays a song by Don McLaen that has his name but he jus.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1192715/ "Let others live in black and white; you must live in technicolor. Make your readers see the blood at the heart of the ruby." Rita Mae Brown http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1192470/ I have a sadness that has settled down so deep that nothing I imagine could ever reach to tear it out not drugs or drink or angels in whatever form could perform that miracle or remove this scar http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1192284/ In 1991 I had an HIV+ test. A subsequent test came back negative. It was only after two months and numerous tests that my doctor was able to confirm that the first result had been a 'false' positive. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1192278/ 1989 Image: Detail from original collage by Carlton Carr http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1192227/ 2012 Τђє Stranger is the archetype that drove my addiction to sex Image: Collage by Carlton Carr http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1192180/ I have touched the hanging tree and felt the cruel and roughened bark scratch my wristthe rope around my throat threatens to pull me down and drown me in the bliss of my forgetful way I walk into the rooms of my past and forget why I am there I gather the messages that I have lef.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1191711/ My first poem, age 13 http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1191611/ My life has been lived in weigh stations and waiting rooms weighing up the possibilities the pros and cons the why's and wherefores paralysed by unending analysis suffocated by my self defeating schemesWaiting for something to happenWaiting for the right timeWaiting for opportuni.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1191583/ I said 'where sorrow ends I will open a window for you and hold your hand as we fall'He said 'I have jumped a thousand times but still I am here'I said 'that is so sad'And then we laughed at the absurdity of life and death until we were crying in each other's arms http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1191489/ She used to sit on the bed with one foot up painting her toenails while little puffs of cottonwool flowered between her toes like miniature cauliflowers when she curled her hair using those pink plastic rollers that were so common in those days the astringent smell of perm fluid .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/carltoncarr/1190783/