http://slow.writerscafe.org/ChrisATX The original writings of author diaryofalostcause en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776040280 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 I wrote this for lyrics to a song I produced called Darkening skies. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/2041948/ I want to cut I want the time to stop I want the bed covered in red I want my eyes to shut forever I want the pain to fade I want to end my life tonight I want you to never remember me http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1992377/ What seems like a million milesI'll travel the stars the deep dark oceansto find your heart the ship is ready the cold wind blows moving slowmist of salt fills the airnothing but glowing stars out herelook into the sky find the north starthat's where she'll be waiting for meone y.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1954959/ Do you ever see the good?am I just that bad?my thoughts are mad my thoughts are lovemy thoughts are scrambled am I a sinking ship on this empty sea?just want to cut want to see myself bleedwant to wash away the bad inside of meDo I disappear from this life?would you even care?would an.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1954957/ The blades are sharpI want to cutbeen staring at them for daysfighting the urge to slice up my armsbattling this depression deep insidewhen will it stopwhen will it endI have to be strong for you I can't let myself get so low Pushingstrugglingholding everything insidebottle up my feardeep deep insid.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1868785/ Wasting awaytotal decaylife is shattered dismantled the memoriesone pill after anothernothing is left deleted the pastsuicide comes at lastno more worrying about the pastthere is no future nothing left for me heretonight I will jump good bye to this world http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1855751/ Dead insidefeel alonecrawling slow across the veinsblood creeps out crying outimages of you spilling outashamed of asking you for helpbottle up emotions deepthrow up walls you can't read me at allin pain no one knowssuicidal thoughts rush insidecry out into the nightbegging you to stay the nigh.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1838295/ So the last few weeks have been going pretty good.  I feel like me and Kels have gotten closer more friendship wise, I still wish we could be more because she's the only person who makes me feel the way I do.  I love her to death but we have a bond that most people don't even have.  I.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1836013/ Close my eyesI begin to press the blade to skinnothing comes out as the skin tears apartI've bled myself dry from the emptiness insideDie slow when you're not by my sideYou say that you love me I say I love you toobut is it the same love Something you don't know I tell people I have the most beautif.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1833662/ You say that you're tired of being aloneI am here you're never aloneYou can never be worthless You're amazingYou're smarter than you think you're don't shed another tearbaby I'm hereI told you from the beginning I am always hereYou're the sunshine that warms my heartYou're everything I could ev.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1828907/ I am so f*****g stupid, I made a mess of things tonight, I wish I knew how to control my anger better I wish I could learn not to say things that I don't mean but I  keep doing the same s**t over and over again.  I am laying here and realizing why I'll never be good enough for her and it's.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1828529/ So I bought my bestfriend some really cool stuff for her birthday, I really hope she likes it.  I bought her some perfume that smells really sweet at when I think about after buying it I hate myself cause I feel selfish that I only want her to wear it for me.  She kissed me after we got co.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1828344/ The last rose has diedSo has my heartOur world turns to dust We grow far apartNo longer I hear your voiceNo longer I see your faceNo longer I feel your touchThis world we once built gone foreverNo longer our shadows dance upon the silent wallsThis blood stained wall my memories w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1820295/ It's 2.38pm and I'm sitting here at church with a lot of things on my mind. I tried reading some stuff written by members of the church but with everything that's bouncing around inside I just can't think straight. I walk around like everything is fine but deep down inside I want to end my life. I.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1802151/ You were always the oneThe only one I chose The one I'd drop to my knees forthe one who makes my heart raceYou're the one I can never haveThe one that got awayMy one regretMy biggest mistake I let go of your hand I should've tried harderI should've worked harder to control my ang.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1801476/ You're stuck in my mindAm I wasting my timeAll I want to do is get close to youRun my fingers through your hairTell you I love youCan't sleep in bed Can't even open my door Your scent left on the wallsYour smiles and laughter fill the roomNever loved someone as much as I love you.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1801346/ Reaching out into the darknessyour voice slowly fades away into darkness give chasereaching out hoping to grab your handfurther and further you go into these woodsyour smell lingers all aroundyour face scared into the back of my mindcannot stop chasing after youI still love you http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1794213/ I don't know what is real anymoreI take the knife and begin to sliceThe water turns red there is no painback of my mind I just want to dieI want to dig out the veins of where I hideI can't show simple emotions to people anymoreI love her more than she knows but she doesn't even careWhy am I even f**.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1792356/ We fight we kiss we make up we hugI'll always fight for youyes you are worth it Today was somewhat goodYou want to just leave when will I ever be good enough for you to stayWish I had a razor blade Wish I could dig so deep I bleed out in my sleepAll I think about is youI'm sorry I yelled at youYou'r.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1791907/ Trapped in this placeI made my mistakescold and alone pen and paperplaying this sad songI write to youthe last letter you will getsorry for the bloodsorry for the pain I causeddon't worry about me nowMy last breath I whisper your namedig so deepyou can't fix meI won't feel a thingthe pills will hit .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1787969/ He's sickno where to goself medicatedhe cuts he loadsthese hollow tipshis mind will explodewhen she's there he's happybut alone in darknessshadows from his past hunt himtheir voices cry out trapped in the memories what's realwhat's realas he screams outher voice comes out from the shadowsthis darkne.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1785995/ The Dark Angel will come for methe smell of death lingers on her hands and feetflesh melting from the bone as she makes her approach can't stop her from coming I made my choice the blood dripping out my veins runs down the tub heart starts to slow downthe foot steps getting louderthe smell of death .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1785785/ Made my mistakesLied to your faceTrying to quit dippingIt's day one yet againI'm glad I have you as a friendThe only one who will support meYou want what is best for meI'm glad to have met youYou're so important to my lifeI'll never take that for grantedI love you with all my hea.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1782850/ I cut my arm for all my mistakesagreeing with this break was my biggest mistakebabe I f*****g love youtoday I'll cut again maybe I'll go deeperthe thoughts of suicide keeps filling my headI need you here with me your voice calms me down your heartbeat helps me sleepyour touch is so heavenly you're a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1780058/ The girl in greenShe's back at it againShe made my heart skip a beatHer touch so sweetSoon my hands will lock with hers Never again will I try to leave this worldI have everything I could want when I look at herI can't wait to be with herShe's the best part of my dreamsThat moment I wake up I just l.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1779420/ This girl in green She does so many cute thingsShe keeps me smiling She fills my dreamsShe keeps me happyI love this girlThis girl in greenShe swept the floorShe somewhat dancedIt was so cute it made me want to see moreThis girl in green keeps my heart beatingEverytime I see he.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1779134/ I wish I hadn't told her what I was thinking about doing. I made her f*****g cry, I am such a god damn idiot.  Here I am with the most amazing wonderful girl next to me and I fucked it up again.  I wish I could hear her voice I miss hearing it. She started dancing and acting all cute, insi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1778720/ So an hour ago Kelsey and her friend got into my car. Kelsey looks so f*****g hot I am still trying to process it. Let her drive my car and her friend sit shotgun. I'm in the backseat typing this and checking her out. Like at the moment I just want to pick her up pin her against the wall and star.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1778609/ Everyday it hurts to breatheWithout you here my heart stops beatingYou're the gears that let me moveYou're the reason that I'm still aliveGive me your smile I'll make your world shineGive me a hug I'll fill your world with flowersGive me your heart I'll keep it safeGive me your all and.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1776440/ You told me to write what I love about youI love your smilethe way you look at meI love every time you interlock your fingers with mineI love how the moment I see you my heart starts to raceThe only thing on my mind at that moment is how lucky I amI love trying new things with youLove sharing frozen.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1775808/ We all lost somethingWe all feel lostThe world looks cold and deadWe must stay strongWe must push onIn this world it looks so greyShow a smile pretend it's okayTurn your grey world into colorSomeone else needs your smileMake their world colorful todayAll we can do is carry onCa.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1775624/ I will be waiting when you come backopen arms I'll never give updon't give up on uswe can get through anythingThe ring you have it wasn't for show but to tell you I want us to growto tell you how much I care about youI don't care what happenedAll I want is the girl I first metthe one who made me lau.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1775185/ Every thought I have of youGives me strength to push throughI love you more each and every dayI don't know how I can go on without youYou're my bestfriend The only one who stayed trueI don't care about the mistake All I could ever want is youTonight we kissed and I didn't want it to stopYou are ever.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1774467/ The darkness is hereThere's no hiding anymoreI lost everything Your last kiss lingers on my cold numb lipsYour eyes burned into the back of my mindI still feel your hands wrapped around mineThis razorblade never felt so niceRunning up my veinsI will go numbI will die slowMy eyes will fadeI will turn.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1774226/ Thoughts of suicide flood my mindGun in hand Round in the chamberwanting to gobut I just can't pull the triggerI must pull this triggerthis bullet I've been saving for 9 yearsthis is the one that will kill methis is the one that'll take me to the starsI will wait for a lifetime to be with youplease .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1773792/ They keep pulling me in they want me to diegot a new gun prepare to diepopping off rounds but they don't make a soundthey disappear into the wallsnothing was even thereback of my mind I'm going insaneback of my mind just a bloody stainthis shirt filled with bloodmy arms melting into redarms sliced u.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1767644/ Glance over at youGet lost in your eyesYou say that you love meYou kiss all my sorrows goodbyeI say that I love you in such a soft voiceEverytime I glance at you my heart races to fast for me to say it out loudYou're everything I could wantLove how you make me smileCouldn't live with.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1766889/ The other night was one of the most painful nights. she talked about breaking up because of her parents.  She cried for a bit and I told her not to cry because it would make me cry.  After she fell asleep on the phone I just couldn't hold in my feelings anymore.  With the music I was .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1762717/ hold this blade wanting to sliceYou told me no more want to cut so bad to release the painwithout you here by my sideit's like my world comes crashing downcount the minuets till I get to see your pretty facecount the minuets till we're togethernothing else matters but youevery second you're on my mi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1762694/ So today I adopted the sweetest puppy in the world, she's only 5 months old. The first bit I brought her home she was bouncing everywhere and I took her to my room.  She was so playful and I went to lay down and she just want over got up under my arm and looked at me and fell asleep.  My h.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1760325/ So for the last few days I have had the urge to take my razor and cut but I made a promise to my girl that I wouldn't,  some days are harder than others. The other day I wanted to cut so bad but I stopped and I could hear my girls voice in the back of my head telling me everything will be .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1758985/ You fill my mind every second of everydayI hang on to every minute when I am with youMy body aches I am in pain when you are not thereYou say you don't care but I know you doI care so damn much about youI listen to car radio everydayit makes me feel like you are right next to meI shed these invisibl.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1758976/ Here I stand Gun in handC**k it backReady to goThe pills don't workTrapped in this hellReady to explodeFist to the wallsHoles of a broken homeMemories you don't wantHere I sit Gun in hand Put it to the headReady to goAll these memories Shattered on the wallsHere I lay.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1755297/ My little angelShe can barley breatheShe is trying to hold onto our memoriesMy little angel Holds us together like glueMy little angelKeeps me saneKeeps my from killing myselfMy little angel She cares even if she says she doesn'tMy little angelIs worth the price of lifeMy lit.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1752438/ You're my oneYou're my onlyno matter how many scars you put on your bodyI will always love you You're my angel and I'll never leave youNo matter how bad things get I'll always be hereI love you every day and every night http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1752289/ I wait and wonder when you will show upYour side of the bed cold as iceMissing your warm touch Missing your warm breathMissing everything about you Your side of the bed needs your warmthYou're like a ghost now I can still hear your heart beatingSometimes I feel that you are near Not being near you i.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1751779/ The cut so deepStitches can't fixThe cut so deepYou're falling into a deep sleepThe cut so deepYou've lost your will to speakThe cut so deepYou go numbThe cut so deepYour soul seepsThe cut so deepYou can hear the screamsThe cut so deepOnly blackness you can seeThe cut so .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1750902/ You saved me from deathYou saved me from myselfYou saved me from this empty loneliness You saved me from this nightmareYou are the angel that came from the starsYou are the angel that landed at my feetYou picked me back up from the enemy You are my shield You are my sword You showed me how to fight .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1746640/ Looking for some positive feedback. I usually write dark poetry but today was such a good day that I ended up writing this and I really would like to know what you guys think about it. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1745123/ I get to see my baby today,  I literally can't wait to see her.  Not being around her for 3 days is worse than death.  I miss staring deep into her eyes I miss her scent her everything.  The way she grabs my face and looks into my eyes is so adorable I love it.  I want every.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/ChrisATX/1744966/