http://slow.writerscafe.org/spacepup13497 The original writings of author Emmy J.M. Powell en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1775506995 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 who am Iwho am I to makesuch a decisionher life seemed smaller than minebut we took up the same space(quite literally) we shared a bed who am I to makesuch a decision was she oblivious to it allor did she know what I knewI suppose cats are funny that way(enigmas)who was Ito make such .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2143214/ I have panic attacks sometimesit's like there are butterflies in my stomach,and not the exhilarating kindlike they're holding their breath and charging towards the walls of my gutsit's like I swallowed a whole gardenteeming with insectsand whatever else rustles throughits overgrown and unkept g.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2141973/ Gale force winds took outmy city's power recentlyfor a few daysThe darkness I could handle,but the silence was overwhelmingThe incessant beepingof the apartment building generatorgave test to my sanity,and the quiet swat of my handagainst my thigh to smother a hungry mosquitoseemed al.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2123870/ I think of my distant tomorrow,of where I am goingor the things that I am doingjust to get thereI think I belatedly understandwhat the moon doesto the oceanbecause I am so attractedto the thought of being finishedand of being secureSome benevolent forcepushing me forwardto meet the sands of who.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2117028/ I've been recently described as "prickly,"and I can't disagreeSoft to the touchbut prickly inside,quick to jump (to conclusions)but slow to make up my mindTo be as prickly as I am,it can't really be helped;my fruit has hardened,but is now plucked from its branches with more ease than beforeI di.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2116411/ Today I read an article about compassion fatigueIt's where you experiencea traumaand the monotony of dealing with itkind of makes you coldwhen it comes to othersand their problemsAnd you know,as numb as I've been feelingfor the past two years,every word of that articlebecame blurryas I tried to.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2113760/ Someone told me that you like to  put peopleon  pedestalsI've long  debatedwhether I am worthyof the  actionEven if I'm not,it's very niceup hereI thinkI'll stayas long as you'll have me http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2109628/ Couldn't I have been poofed out on Venus,or Saturn,or even the sun Somewhere I didn't have a chance,didn't have a life to waste or not to wasteDo you think I'd live long enough on Venus to light one up? Or would I be compacted like a junkyard car?What a waste of a cigarette http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2109625/ Lost somewhere,lost deep in my headTurning this way,that way,double-taking,standing with hesitationFar from the edge,then close again,then far againTouch me,don't touch me,touch me againIf I had a texture,I'd say it would probably beslippery to the touch There is water in my shoes,dripping from.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2109624/ It's so easy for me to get lost places, whether it's somewhere outside or just inside my own head. Never really been good with directions, I like to go the same ways that I always go. Inner comfort and all that bullshit. It has its pros and cons, as my mind often takes me back to places I don't.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2109623/ I am taking it backlittle by littleLetting myself be enjoyed,complimented,caressedfor the first timeThe ice is softening,and I mind it a little,but not a whole lotCan feel it dripping onto my clothes,soaking them throughAnd you think it would feel cold,but I feel so very warmFloating here,light and .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2109175/ He put his hands around my throatand choked me until I thoughtmy neck would break,until I could no longer get another "no"between pale lips,until the back of my head pressed so farinto the pillow that my periphery disappeared,replaced with stars that swam there insteadThe alcohol had made me feel so.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2107384/ For as much time as I prefer to spend inside my headI also spend a fair amount of time disliking what's in thereLike I'm stuck inside a washing machine,hurled around in the wash cycle,bobbing against the wallsSeeing someone outside the bubble windowas I'm soaking wet and shivering,and they are stand.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2106989/ Can't help but wonder if everyoneis pulling a Truman Show on meAre we real,is any of it realI'd pinch myselfbut pain is paineven in a paranoid delusionI'll feel fine again in the morning http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2104863/ Sometimesit feels like nothing is herenor thereor anywhere reallyMy hands are an elaborate illusion catered to disassemble all that they touch,any fruitful relationships spat out like seedsas cinders crumble through open fingersAll of it is in my blind spotEveryone says to rise from the ashesbu.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2104862/ Always been an old soul,you knowEyes flicking back and forth,sucking up information so hard through the narrowest strawand gagging on the turgid detailsWhen you know a lot,the world becomes less full of lush greeneryand more full of bowls of sickWhen you feel a lot,it overwhelmingly comes and goesSo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2102414/ Do they really matter,the beginnings and endings?The middle is merely accessory,of the most gorgeous kindWe were dazzling,we sparkled,the tinkling of our laughter was delicate and raucous at the same timeWe were dangling from each other like fine jewelry,even if we were young and not thinking a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2102401/ Did it hurt at all, me leaving you?Did you like breathing the fresh air? Like washing your pillows of my perfume, like putting my spare t-shirts in an Amazon Prime box and slapping my address on it?Would you love me now?Now that I'm blunt and pointy,now that I wear everything two size.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2101802/ My head is gone,my limbs are gone,I’m just a torsogathering bits of dustBunnies in my stomach,how do I get my limbs back,how do I expel the dust bunnies that are packed so tight insideHow do I make myself feel something againPlastered with sweat to my stale mattress,baby hairs pinned to my tem.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2091184/ Press your nose below my peach-fuzzed jaw, breathe in. To the veined crease of my wrist, breathe in. To the crown of my head, breathe in. Someone told me once about how personal scent is strongest on the top of the head, that's why people dig their snouts into the little whisps of new.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2016009/ I open the windows sometimeswhen I feel my veins bulging with suffocation,forehead reddening and peaked with sweat,surfaces of my eyes teaming with forceful tearsKick the covers off when I feel my veins bulging with suffocation,hairs simultaneously standing up and being weighed down with a thin.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2015686/ I want to walk awayand then walk furthereven furtherfurther yetuntil I'm the founderof something worth my exhausted eyes http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2008911/ one of the two things that I know,is that I itch like a motherfuckerwhenever I'm with youthe other thing that I know,is that there's plenty of s**t that I don't knowI don't know if I like the itch,I don't know if your skin is as soft as it looks,I don't know what you look like when you're laying in .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/2008270/ I decided to sever my rootsand re-pot myself elsewherenew town,new job,new apartmentfor the first time in twenty years,I will settle my seeds somewhere newI am eager to spend this time awayfrom the people that have watered and trimmed meWhy aren't I scared? Because I can grow anywherewith a lit.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1998519/ how dare you think that my veins don't throb for you, even months after I lefthow dare you think that my love for you wasn't tripping over itself and drip dropping over its toiling rimhow dare you think that we wasted our timebecause you were gorgeous laying in a night shirt, legs bare and folded ov.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1991437/ People always have to use funny termslike "feeling empty without [someone]"and wanting to "fill the hole" in their heartI understand where we're all coming from with that cheesy s**t, but I wish we'd get to the point, because it's become unpoetic from overuseI'll be frank and point-bl.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1974375/ Laying the plains of my palm across the screen door, quaking with mosquitos, I felt safe. In my fingers, in my guts, I felt it. Safe from the bugs, from the brute of the cool air, from the burping bullfrogs. Somewhere, I didn't particularly care where, a loon howled as if it was being gobbled u.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1949252/ I found myself wondering,what I had doneto make you stopcould I have conditioned my hair more?put less sugar into your coffee mug?eaten more vegetables?was my bed not warm enough?each day I eagerly awaitfor your scent to fadefrom my linens,and for thoughts of youto waver or disappearbut I can't help.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1949251/ "to be used to it"is scarier to imaginehold meeven just a littleeven if it's just the tip of my finger,hold meplease stay at my sideplease don't let goof this version of me,of the versionthat is touching your handif you step away for a minuteplease let me follow onplease look at mebut if you lo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1948068/ I believe I'm evolvingI've always been the cold type,I don't cry muchbut here I amletting my eyes well upat the mere mention of youor your small, chubby faceor how you tried to hidebehind your knotty hairbecause your lip trembledwhen you knew I was leavingyour bralette is on my floorand it only ghos.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1936649/ when I made the choice to leave you,you looked somewhere off to my leftand stuttered outthat I didn't have to stayif I didn't want toand that was the saddest partof leaving you:when you told me it was okay,and then let me go http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1935989/ today,I was selfishwanted one more normal momentsitting across from youcurse youfor picking a sunny booth,because your irises turnedthe most stunning shadeof amber goldI felt weakthieving long glances at youbecause I was unsure if I'd have the chanceto look againand then I let you go http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1935954/ everyone around mesays to come to my sensesI know it is patheticto not have a dream"once you start university,you'll know"they tell methe water is warm,they tell mebut when I submerge myselfit will be coldjust like that,the world tosses me awayafraid to ghost a breath,I will not get up again http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1929958/ how can I be drippingly fulland squelchingly emptyat the same timebecause if I took my weak fleshy handsand grabbed you by the salt-crusted collarof your shirt and held you close to meyou would jump, startle, yelpand it would echo off of every choking creekevery gargling canyonevery single straining.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1849630/ a new kind of numbnot devoid of emotionbut not doggy-paddling in it eitherit's like I'm wandering aroundin clothes that are sopping wetnot heavybut enough to still feel itI wobble when I standfingers tremble as I typecheeks tingle coldlystomach doesn't grumbleI just wanted to feel somethingbut if th.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1849621/ if I'm such a burden,just let me diewhy do I have to keepgiving you a refresherin Depression 101why do you forgetabout mewhy do you forgetthat I'm sickwhy do I have tokeep reminding you http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1838507/ two little frecklesholding handson the side of your chinso close togetherI wonder if they whisper to each otheras they accentyour plump, tanned skin"so pretty,"they cooback and forth"she's beautiful, isn't she?"I brag fondlyI try not to lookfor too longi'll go blind http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1815531/ I'm comfortablebut crawling out of my skintoo scared to touch youI touched the others,I touched them a lot,but with you it's differentwith you,I roll out the plan in my headof what I'm going to doI brush the words past my tonguewhen I'm alone,until they become polishedfrom overuseabruptly afterwards.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1814181/ if I sit still enough,I can feel my suspicions snappingthe paranoia sickens me,and I feel tears start to scramble and fry and pop,before I catch themand wrestle them back indeep backin the pink-hued part of my brain,I feel that itch to trust wordsbut my mind wraps around and around and aro.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1796400/ my mother triesto make me happyeven when I'm on suicide watch,she'll ask,"So how was your day?""What are you feeling for dinner? How about veggies on the grill, I know you like that."she tries to create a semblance of normalcywhereas others purposely attempt to throw it awayand act as if I am m.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1787092/ it's strange how sadness sneaks up on youit's not slow,it's a quick strikemaybe you'd been holding onto it less and less,so it grips you harder this time aroundbut it squeezes and squeezesand squeezesuntil the air you needed for breathingbecomes the air you need for getting out of bedor washing.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1787086/ you threw up your dinner in the front yard,on your knees with rolling eyesand you would only look at your handseverything was tremblingthe front door was locked,I'd forgotten my key for the umpteenth timeyour insulin was insidein a backpackit was 2 in the morningand no one was answering the doorI wa.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1766099/ what does honest love feign to feel like? because I don't like anyone,but I miss her as soon as she leavesbecause I don't touch anyone,but I find myself feigning a yawnjust to coyly drape my arm across her shouldersas she huffs out a gigglebecause she borrowed my shirtover a month ago,and I don.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1760399/ I hurt myself for a while as a teenager. I stole those expensive pencil sharpeners from the art room's supply closet, took them apart just enough until the razor would fall out. It was fine, I was secretive. I didn't exploit it. It wasn't a cry for help, it was just a kid being dumb. I figured that'.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1741500/ I've been attemptingto bypass clichesfor as long as I rememberboxes of chocolates triggered my gag reflex,I laughed at couplessitting on picnic blanketsbut last night I put my arm around youand you leaned against my side real closeand at that moment,I had to chucklebecause you fit so well .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1731508/ There is something beautiful in the waythat you squeeze your honey-brown eyes shutand grin big enough to show your gumsbefore you lean forward and throw your head backand cackle loud enough to wake the neighborsSometimes instead of laughing with youI just watch with a dopey smileas your body wracks .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1703741/ I fell in love with you slowlyfell in love with the way that your hand comes up to cover your mouth when your laugh is too uglyfell in love with how fast your short hair grew long enough to tickle your shouldersfell in love with the look of concentration on your face as you gave yourself an insulin .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1701579/ You've been deadfor a year and a halfalreadyIt's likeyou never even existedI am notsad over youanymoreIs that okay?Are you okay with that?I wonder this all the timeI think about youless and less and lessIs that okay?Are you okay with that? http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1694186/ You know,it's like I'm coveredin scabbed-over cutsthat itch with every movementNever comfortableor willing to feel the airof open spacesI want to pick at them,although I knowthat I shouldn'tYour purposefully quiet presencescratches the itch of my woundsThank you for that http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1665407/ I get hurtwhen I move to leaveand you don't tryto convince me to stayit makes me acheand I know thatit is selfish to assumethat you would thinkso highly of mebut part of me wishedthat you wouldthat someone would http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/spacepup13497/1650727/