http://slow.writerscafe.org/pinheadtoker The original writings of author pinhead07 en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1775997108 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 The sunlight streaming in through the curtains,I tell myself is enough. The birds outside, chirping,I tell myself, are singing for me.I peek through the curtains,try to flash them a smile as they flutter away.The people in my head are enough.The shrinks try to wipe my memory.I'll never forget b.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2300715/ Chasing the dragon.Pouring some powder on to some foil,turning it into a blob, inhaling the smoke with a pipe.Or smoking a joint.Rolling a fat one, that'll make me cough out my lungs.That'll take me to space.I dream about it.I can taste the bitterness of heroin.Smell the smell of hashish.J.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2182265/ I dream of her from dawn till dusk.I'll remember her till I am dust.Move on, I must.I've become a vegetable.Everything else is forgettable.I remember being bullied.On my fear, they would feed.They spread the damn virus.Took from me my shyness; kindness."You thought I was interested in you, you freak.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2182264/ Drained.I spend an hour trying to find a vein.I nearly go insane.Into my arm, I then, stick the needle.One day it might turn out to be lethal.I know exactly why this stuff is illegal.Relief.I forget my grief.Today I got beaten by the police.Again.While I was half asleep."Damn junkies, they're a dise.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2182263/ Everyday, my mind's erased.Which I should appreciate.It is the ultimate escape.For which I prayed.Frozen in time.I wake up, stare at the screen and walls.Then it's bedtime.Her name still rings a bell.Leaves me under a spell.She was repelled by me, in a nutshell.Maybe one day it'll all be wiped clean.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2182262/ The world is cold.Into someone else, it did mold me.Decayed my soul as I grew old.For years I've marched on with a damn blind fold.I am just a prisoner that wants parole.My life too fast for me did unfold.My damned self now I want to remold.Maybe it's too late for me to be pure.Maybe it's too late f.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2178357/ The days are monotonous.Maybe that is something ominous.I try to be an optimist.Panic attack.Stops me in my tracks.Voices harass.I zone out, my brain is not intact.I start mumbling, that's how I react.I start pacing like a maniac.Ill; I take my pills.In front of the television I try to lie still.An .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2178356/ He stays in his room.Smoke leaves his room, plumes.He spends his time giggling to himself.Whispering to himself.He's always perplexed.In seconds, he goes from cheerful to depressed.Disconnected, his distress he won't confess.Poison he spews.After, he feels like a yahoo.He zones out.Something's taken.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2178030/ Somehow, I live on.Withdrawn.Sitting idle.Watching the smoke spiral.Waiting for pleasure's arrival.Pleasure does arrive.Into a sea of warmth, I've dived.Years of solitude.Years of drug abuse.Have me all confused.I remember all the sermons.According to them, I'm a damn vermin.What if I have been misl.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2177848/ Time alone wears me down.Maybe I appear fine when I clown around.Don't help; people that frown.Everyday I have a breakdown.Desperately, the damn feelings I  try to drown.I just plaster on a grin.Getting people down is a sin.A smile on my face no matter what.Hope they don't look at my wrist, see.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2177847/ Outside, the birds chirp and play.I curse them.Their damn chirping hurts my head.Daylight streams in.Just another day.With a heavy head, I sway.I start filling up the ashtray.Starting to weigh on me are the days.My dismay arrives without delay.It is definitely here to stay.You need a joint, I hear t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2177726/ Barely able to breathe.Grinding my teeth.I light one more cigarette.To plain talk to people, I don't have the intellect.I keep running, sunrise, sunset.Keeping my brain blank so I don't get upset.When they ask me how my day's been, I just stare at them.Searching for words."Great!" I say.Eyes full of.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2177490/ I'm afraid of dying.Will there even be some people at my funeral that're crying?At least it will end the vying.Hope I've done enough purifying.Getting my soul taken from me will be terrifying!Or will I go smiling?Is not death supposed to be plain gratifying for the pure?!?My life has comprised of si.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2177231/ Drugs provide me warmth.Sorrow into joy is transformed.Just another scum in a slum.To the drugs I did succumb.Outside by people I'm swarmed.People out to make reforms.They don't care if I live or die.To be stupefied this world I will defy.More of the cops; people; than drugs I am terrified.Why do th.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2177230/ To the television, I am glued."And I'll love you if you promise never to leave me!""Us together, from this hell, we'll flee!"A love song.I still feel the solitude.I roll a joint to change my mood.I feel better with my mind a little screwed.I flick past a girl that's dancing. Lewd."You can not resist.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2177119/ After some drags of the joint, I'm buzzed.I feel loved.I turn on the television.Bad decision.Another saint on it causing division.Of the perfect world he has a vision."And all drug addicts will rot in Hell!"He says. His prevision."They will burn in Hell! All sinners will!"I am hated, it was fated.is.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2176634/ Careful, I roll a fat joint.Basking in the sunlight, it won't disappoint.Birds chirp.There's no reason to be perturbed.A couple of drags; I feel superb.My throat's dry though, some tea I slurp.Always faithful to one, is the herb.People wonder why I get high.It makes me feel like I can fly.And I don'.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2176632/ My mind's blank, for that I thank the lord.At least for now.I can't keep her out of my head.Even though she never loved me, it was all a prank.I feel like I'm already dead.Just my spirit roams.Nowhere here, do I feel at home.I'm in my room that is covered in puke, urine.Everyone knows I'm a kook.I s.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2175962/ He mixed hashish with the tobacco and started filling up the empty cigarette. The air around him reeked of the drug after he'd warmed it with a match, and he couldn't wait to be under its intoxication.His door was locked, he had double checked, his memory sometimes didn't serve him as well as he'd l.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2172858/ The teacher went on talking, she had her attention focused on her phone."Are you paying attention?" she texted."How can I pay attention and text you at the same time!"She looked at him and they smiled."I can't wait for this bullshit to end!""Me too, I haven't been able to understand a thing since th.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2172857/ This had been the sixth school he had been to within a couple of months. None of them made him feel he was learning something. He wished his parents would just give up on him."Sugar bunny! Wake up, it's time to get ready for school!""I don't want to go to school, mommy!" he said."But you have to go .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2172856/ The lights dazzled him, he'd been slowed down by the left over heroin, going from red, to yellow to green, the acrid smoke coming from exhaust pipes, mixed with sweat, and cigarette smoke on his skin, the cars honked at him as he knocked on windows, making his usual face he made that showed he was a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2172855/ Cancer, it runs through my damn blood,schizophrenia, there’s no hope for me.Something else, I am not human no more, I am nothing more than an ape!People do not understand, they don’t,why I isolate my damned self,they don’t understand I’m not one of them,I try to get clos.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2172854/ "Okay, students, so two plus two is equal to four!" the teacher said."Repeat after me!"He had his head down and was looking at his notebook under the desk, with a pencil in hand, blocking out all the teacher said and the roar of the rest of the classroom."I love you," he wrote, "do you love me too? .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2172852/ "What made you think we're a neighborhood, where you can walk in, get your dirty goods and leave without notice," said the law officer droopy eyed.He held the kid's collar in disgust. "You're treating me unjustly, like a criminal," the kid said."What are you then, we're interested to know," he said,.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2172849/ He emptied the tobacco from a cigarette into his palm, pinned some hashish onto a matchstick, lit it, blew out the flame and was greeted by a strong sweet smell, he then threw it onto the tobacco and mixed it with the tobacco with his other hand and then started to fill the empty cigarette.The high .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2172076/ Creeps that love http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/2171098/ mad drunk guy preaching about life and the downfall of humanity http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/pinheadtoker/1400755/