http://slow.writerscafe.org/Elwyn The original writings of author Elwyn en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1775985506 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 i don't remember the 12 raisin wishesyou gave me wrapped up in aluminumthoughtfully, but i remember the fizzof my champagne heart, the shake & drumthat is you. what i'm trying to say hereis that you make me want to burst with loveevery time we're together. my new yearwishes: pointless. nothing c.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2145621/ the bikini summer i had nowhere to bebut by the pool or by the sea & all i didwas slip between pages & be consumedby novels like an introverted national geographic personality with white manicured nails, stalk sentences like a herd of lionesseslicking their big paws effortless.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2117794/ He looks how an English professor ought to look. Disheveled. Grey. He always wears a button-up and wool overcoat, a little frayed, never pressed, socks occasionally mismatched. Probably a closet drinker. Probably has a half empty of bourbon or maybe scotch on the top shelf of his office. I like his .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2115506/ She dyed her hair blue-not blue raspberry slushie blue like she wanted,but something bolder and less bright,something that reminded me of the oceanthrough a Brita filter maybe,or  how it'd look cupped in God's palms-but that was the color of her hair, anywayand she thought nothing of it,didn't .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2105216/ and in this one you tell me you don’t love meyou don’t even like me, friendship is a farceyou yell and it’s the loudest sound i think i’ve ever heardi told you once my worst fear is looking silly,split open my ribcage just a little bit for youafter only two weeks, now the vu.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2105215/ ladies and gentlemen-! in this act, i’m cast as the main love interestthe irony of it all being every oneknows it but ME,watch- the story through HIS eyes:see him grow up the darling of divorced parents or not,how he had a passion for academics from the onslaught or didn’t,how, perhaps .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2105214/ living at the bottom of a juice boxthe straw hole up above becomes the only light to see bybut of course, there is not much to be illuminated;just the aluminum walls, occasional wrinkle,waist-deep in transparent yellow shimmer.but there’s power in that, the knowing of what drowns meand the gi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2105213/ 1.)this is my fourth malibu baybreezei drink them because my dad has always liked themand i think the color looks nicelike a sunset or cat puke or somethingfamiliar and simple and beautifulin its own wayi am looking at youand i think of my mouth as a worker beeand yours as a flower;or my mouth as my.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2105212/ showing up saturday uniformless inmy black dress, flowers inmy purple hair,hungover, unabashed, glowing, glowing and glowingi'll cut the balloon strings tiedaround my wrists with the other ends tiedTo this placeAnd cut the ribbons in my wrist  for good measureWith the other ends tied to myselft.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2105211/ there is no reason for your being born!reject this life for its purposelessness,you can't live harder than you did before.we know God is dead at our cores,the eternal afterlife; a false bliss,there is no reason for your being born!clutch emptily at those churches you adore,pretend that you can&rsquo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2105210/ My leftover shirt smells like rum runners and Wendy ’s armsTomorrow morning my half-moon smiles will be waking up on her neck in cambridgeAnd i’ll be plenty of towns south in rhode island With a hangover growing out of my damn eyes i drank so much i thought i was a baby godWith my eyes c.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2105209/ my glassy eyes not very on the verge of shatter but marbles; still glass, not split into pieces when i dropped them just chippedi dreamt oncethe sky was yet another ocean, i thought of the lighttrudging through all that waterjust to warm my cheekmy tongue in ribbons something silk aflutter,i swear .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2105207/ waking up next tosomeone so beautifulhas neverfeltso awful. i’m crouching on our shared bedmy back against the walland i’m looking at yousupine and sprawled outin a half-sleepand i am thinkingand i am knowingthat youareso beautifulif you were mine i wouldcrawl underneath your armand kiss.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2105206/ 2.5 weeks early http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2101807/ The scientists are all men, go figure. “Is it the creativeor the woman part that made you do it, poor Sylvia?Fired up the oven to cook your brains into supperbut still a mother, you stopped up the playroom door, Sylvia.”Crawl down alone into the death i wanted so badlyand for so long, An.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2100758/ Reading Brave New World out loud on the peeling pleather couch in the kitchen, your head in my lap, the crescendos of run-on sentences slapping against the concrete walls in tsunami waves, only to fade to small ripples whenever Ellie would enter the room. Your neck would tense against me and my thig.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2098029/ sonnet for jay because i miss her mostjay with her blue bike & my blue lipstick.jay, the wingwoman to my madwoman,bent knees, bent elbows, t-shirt with fishnets,lady gaga mistaken for herald of sin;a dance without rhythm, a step out of lineeverything else so perfectly in place,the way home hung .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2095810/ it is hard to taste the sweetness of certain moments when they are surrounded by equally sweet moments. it is only when we return home that we can space them out, unhinge each minute from the other, hold it on our tongue and miss its sugar. to wake up again with a blank day on a small bed, the whole.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2095090/ when you had known me, Wendyi was trying to go invisibleperched on the edge of the couchwhere i prayed you all couldn’t see meyour arms across my shouldersyour lips to the side of my head through my hairin the way that girls are just girlsremind me againnothing passes through memy wish swims u.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2091338/ The strap-on rested between my legs. It was weighty. I pretended I could feel it when I moved my hand up and down the whole length of it, like it was really part of me. In the mirror I couldn't help but admire it. It was beautiful in a way; soft pastel pink and long, a flamingo neck or milkshake str.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2086279/ if you had asked me across the worldi would have followed you,would have rendez vous'd with you in hellif you asked me to.you called me love so ofteni mistook it for my name,was so in love with youi'm scared i would have stayed. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2080995/ The lights were soft, strung up on Christmas strings and pale yellow, opposed to the sharp white of the spiral ceiling bulbs, which were off, per her request. Her clothes were also off, huddled on the polished wood floor like dust bunnies trying to keep warm since being banished from the heat of he.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2075787/ "You lying little s**t!"     I imagine us as animals. He thinks he'd be a lion and I'd be a lonely reject zebra, all black with white stripes, instead of the normal all white with black stripes, and he'd corner me roaring, "S**T! S**T! S**T!" But I imagine that I'm the lioness, right,.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2075778/ Don't you dare try to tell me that words mean nothing. They mean everything. Labels are definitions and identities. Attach the word "date" to you and I hanging out and it's completely different now, isn't it? I mean, the two of us are doing the same thing as we were before, leaning wi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2075776/ i aborted our children before they were conceivedturned them out to pasture for the last timelike cows before inevitable slaughterplaced the killing stem between their eyes,blue like mine or green like yours but youreyelash curtains for sure,and watched it bloom in billows of redmoving on means term.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2075768/ I meet my therapist one Wednesday of every month for coffee. Carol has never bragged about this phenomenon to me, but I feel like she secretly does, like a suburban mom who talks to her daughter about real birth control, not just abstinence, and says I’m not like other moms, I’m a cool m.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2070640/ head lolls, another night spills outliquor-vomit on the floorfeather-sweat on glittered limbsempty plastic cups like confetti,my body is unholy. written into promiseto eradicate the nasty "ums" and "likes"of my half-crazed mouth, not noise for the sake of noisebut for every word: fat and heavynot be.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2070390/ the only time a man asks me to speak / is when he asks for my forgiveness.the only time a man asks me to speak / is when i’m not sure i can.i’ve begged to be listened to begged like porn girls beg nothen beg pleasethen beg yes, then beg yes, then beg don’t stop begged-to be listene.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2069693/ to affirm the 'i love you' i said: pathetic.who would dangle their heart on a fishline like that?puncture it. hook yourself.bleed it vulnerable in the water.maybe you do catch something,is it worth being consumed for?to deny the 'i love you' i said: sorry.who would douse their heart in kerosene like.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2069185/ you cut your hair like your license pictureand i no longer know you.you look like the man who wouldn't catch methe night i fell,you look like the man whowrenched his hand away/ you look like the man whoyelled at the top of his lungs would i just get the f**k off you,that man was you too, sometimesyo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2069184/ I meet my therapist one Wednesday of every month for coffee. Carol has never bragged about this phenomenon to me, but I feel like she secretly does, like a suburban mom who talks to her daughter about real birth control, not just abstinence, and says I’m not like other moms, I’m a cool m.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2068426/ sometimes i leave during our sex. you never notice unless i cry.you squish all of my humanness outonto the bedsheets. i become just a body. or maybe it's because my humanness left all on its own. i discarded this body in your bed. lifted your pillow. looked for what makes me more perso.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2066950/ i miss you how trees miss their leaves each November. what a relief once they're covered in snow. there's not a thing in the world more humbling than frozen grief; while bears sleep denned together in heavy warm and birds vacation south to somewhere warm and lovers sip coco to fill their mouths with.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2066948/ in the same breath of banishing youi necromance you back to life-disappear vampirically. denounce you.beg you home. no apology, the witch i amkick at the bones of the 'us' i killedin a cruel attempt to romance you,familiar Boston rats carry your tiny detailsback to me to spite me:your hand-squeeze .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2066946/ wild goldfish can grow as long as my thigh,it's the fishbowl walls that stop them and it would be nice if love was more like this,  didn't demand spacelike a potted plant inevitably does or my brother's hermit crab, sidled up to larger shellto make The Move;  un-pearled calcification.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2065326/ i am looking at youand i think of your mouth as a pink cherry blossomand my mouth as a worker beeor your mouth as a fourth malibu baybreeze with an umbrella in the cupand my mouth as my mouthor your mouth as your mouthand my mouth as my mouththese are all the same analogy sayingI WANT TO PUT MY MOUT.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2064395/ do it quick, i say, holding a blank piece of printer paper in front of my facedo it quick, like sex, like a quick skinny dip, in and out, where i’m the ponddo it q u i c k , just rip the paper in half, tear it down the middle, shred itwith your Wolverine claws; become Wolverine and then s.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2064391/ It is almost midnight on a school night and I cannot sleep. This is because insomnia is a side-effect of the medicines. And maybe writing inspiration is too, but that actually may be a side-effect of insomnia. All the novels told me so.    Since I’m awake, and my boyfriend is as.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2063403/ Life (or at least how I’ve come to know it)  has always been composed of good days and bad days, but lately, the bad days seem to span for weeks and the good days only happen at night when there’s a full moon. Don’t ask me why. Just because there’s a crystal ball on my w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2063401/ i was so puppy-doe-eyes over you!everyone could see my eyes follow you around our kitchen not like you put the stars in the sky but like you put that plant on my porchyou were the red sock that snuck into my white laundry;you colored all my days away from home pinkyour freckles were only enchantment.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2063058/ it'd be so easy to fall back into the old habit of loving you  so much.especially here where the hallways are littered with the ghosts of our passing kisses.holding your hand felt like the opposite of drowningexcept i didn't know it then. i didn't know what it was like to drownyou never let m.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2061917/ you took my picture once and i took that to mean you liked me. it was the first good day of springa swig of soco in the broad daylightyou were on your one elbow taking this life all in& i had a willingness to be late to the real world, for oncedo you know what that means for me?a minut.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2061911/ our lover betrayed you.our lover tied you up in knots another used condom in the trash(or not,maybe you were both bare.i hearbare is better buti was drunk.i don't remember.)our lover betrayed you left you tragicallyby the wayside with me.feminine social rules make me hate you quietly  where no.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2059618/ He always drove too stiffly; with his hands on the invisible ten and two of the steering wheel. Driving is something he never got comfortable with, like how I never quite got comfortable wearing high heels. It was acceptable to wobble on fawn legs at the age of 14, but by the time I had any interest.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2055268/ i just can't believe berlin has the audacity to be there right now existing, the whole 9without either of us there to see it.there's people dancing right now where we danced,laying under the same tree maybethe leaves cutting the monotonous blue into paper angelsand there's someone there right .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2053409/ the winter i had the quiet hurt, blue  bruised & achingyour soft arms enfolding me  sweetly, but pressing it deeper anyway. the hurt was sleepy. (not the depressive e x h a u s t i v e of purple zings in the way people look at me all wrong)the winter our be.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2052362/ i wish girls could take their clothes and still be peoplebut that almost never happens.maybe after a few year. sometimes, very rarely, after only one.but most often what happens is this: her clothes come off and she becomes just a body.it is just like the movies say, how boys memorize the right l.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2050458/ you asked me once if i thought you were too nice to me.because you were nice to me. you said you were nice to me and you didn't even know why you were so nice to me. you carried my groceries home. you made me tea when i was sick. you lit sparklers for my birthday. you held my hand, sometime.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2050143/ the mistake was in thinking we were the same type of personand being right; the type of people to be head-over-heels in loveuntil the loved-one's head-over-heels too.so we here we have two horrible people dancing a kind of doom-dance.i didn't know to make sure you said my name when it was just uson .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2047774/ i am the snow-globe gutsand the quake that shakes them obscure.sometimes i am the whole snow globe.it's impossible to say if i'm trappedin my own personal tragedy,the solution perfectly visiblefrom the comfort of the living room sofaor else maybe i'm all that snow-globe snow;just as artificial as th.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Elwyn/2047771/