http://slow.writerscafe.org/Clowndude The original writings of author Forgotten and Loved en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776064881 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 Charles and Lionel sit at the dining room table. Charles isin clown makeup and clothes. Lionel is dressed in dress shirt and khakis. Charles: What do you think? Lionel:  About what? Charles: You know. Lionel: I do not. Charl.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1754154/ Roger: Is it but a dream?Celeste: I need to get dinner together.Roger: It has been bothering me.Celese: I need to get dinner together. I have been runningaround all day. It was long. It was not fulfilling. It was okay, though. I havecertainly had worse. My Father came by. He was .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1754151/ Robert and CarlRobert: So…Carl: Yeah?Robert: Wasn’t that game great last night?Carl: Sure was…… which one?Robert….. Any of them.Carl: Oh, yeah, that was….. Great. Just great. Robert: Yeah, it’s astounding what they can do.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1754150/ Cameron’s apartment. A man named Seagull bangs on the door. Cameron is soundasleep. He continues to bang. Seagull: Open up, you son of a f*****g b***h! You have wentbeyond disgusting treachery and treason! Your vile beliefs will be yourultimate ruin. (He kic.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1754148/    Jimmy:  Hey, how’sthat writing comingBob: I’m glad you asked. It is terrible. Horrid. Horrendous.I pretty much want to kill myself right now.Jimmy: So, the usual?Bob: I don’t know, man. I sit here, staring at this blankpage, .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1507802/ Hey I thought justfor the sake of doing something I would post some "poems" I havewritten lately. I've been in a mood for some unknowable reason to attempt towrite something like a poem. I'm not at all sure how they have turned out. Iknow little to nothing about poetry. I don't even particul.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1268543/ Trent: That’s herpicture Diane: Huh. You knowshe wasn’t beautiful Trent: In the fleshshe was much more demure and gorgeous than you can ever dream of being, youcow. Diane: Oh, whatever.What do I know? I am but a supermodel who is considere.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1268542/ Greg: I’m going tofeed the ducks, Karen. You coming?Karen: No. You besafe out there.Greg: I’m going tofeed the ducks. Why won’t you come? Feeding the ducks. Feeding the ducks. Iwant us to feed the ducks together. They’ll quack and they’ll waddle andthe.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1268540/ Max: Hey. How areyou? Jessica: Not bad.Just heading out actually. Max: See you later. Jessica: I doubt it.I have no intention of living with you anymore. Max: How come? Jessica: You’reboring me to death. Max:.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1268539/ Chase: Please comein, Caroline.  Caroline: I’d ratherstay out here.  Chase: I repeat,please enter the house.  Caroline; Sweetheart,we have no reason to be here.   Chase: One last time:Come in here.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1268537/ Jake: (enters theroom in a hurried fashion because something life-alternating is happening. Oris it?) KAREN! Karen Karen: (offstage)What? Jake: Where are you? Karen: Leaving Jake: huh? Karen: You heard me Jake: No.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1268536/ Lance: Youseemed separate tonight.  Laura: Whatdo you mean?  Lance: Youwere there but you weren’t. You know.  Laura:That’s vague enough for a few lifetimes.   Lance: Youknow what I mean.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1268076/ Oswald: Hi, Mary Mary: Hey, sexy. Ihaven't seen you in a few days. Where you been? Oswald: France Mary: Was it fun? Oswald: It was okay. Mary: Care toelaborate? Oswald: No. Mary: Did ya getlaid?&nbsp.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1268075/ Helena: (Walks in theroom. Inspects it. Sits down.) John: (Enters. SeesHelena. Keeps walking.) Helena: No hello? John: Hello. Helena: Do you haveplans? John: When? Helena: Tonight,naturally. John: No. .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1268074/ Carla: Thank you forthat, Samuel. Samuel: Listen,honey, this is the way of the world. Carla: The way of theworld? What does that mean? Samuel: What itmeans, dear one, is that we have went as far as we can go with this situation.Do you see any point in.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1268072/ Phil: This chick isout of sight. Bob: Out of sight?Have we returned to the 70's? Phil: Is that howthey talked? Bob: Well, it's howthey talked on the Brady Bunch. Phil: Oh, yeah, theysaid groovy, too. Bob: Yeah, I told agirl.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/1268070/ ( Humpy and Sexty enter. These are their professional names, perhaps. Perhaps not. It’s irrelevant anyway. They are two flamboyant, strange, odd, creepy prostitutes who don’t care what anyone thinks of them which may or may not be made apparent. We’ll see or we won’t see- aga.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/608362/ (Craig lives in this apartment with his reclusive two aunts and Grandmother. They sit in a corner, sipping tea and playing a game of solitaire without cards as they discuss everything from The Cold War to Russian Literature to… Raffi… and Pee-Wee Herman and the works of…….. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/603250/ Fiona: The ideal?Bobby: Yes. The ideal. You’re my sister. So I can tell you all about this.Fiona: I don’t know. This sounds really old-fashioned and misogynistic. Why can’t you just accept the women of this world? Why must you go looking or creating something that doesn’t exi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/597577/ Fred: Well you better be a homosexual. That’s all I have to say about all this. I do not want some macho heterosexual with issues living under my roof. I don’t have time to attempt to understand your strange, sick, perverted lifestyle. You’re sick, disgusting, an abomination. And i.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/591045/ Xanaxy: Okay. So, what exactly is the problem today, Gianni?Gianni: Nothing is the matter. Come on. I just have one of those faces that appears to be melancholy when in all reality I am perfectly fine.Xanary: Now, are you sure about this? I have heard you say this before and it turns out you’r.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/590049/ I am…… I am……….. The search for the self begins. Not again.Always again.Please no.We must.S**t.F**k you.No f**k you.No. Please let me continue this search for myself.Is it always going to be an endless search?That’s usually how being endless works.Oh, God. Do.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/580910/ I think I love her. I am moderately certain of this unknowable fact.I am so confused already. You don’t know her. You don’t even know her first name yet you know her middle and last names. What’s going on here?Love, I think. I may or may not be in love. Isn’t that wonderful?W.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/580896/ Don: I’m heading out, Paul.Paul: Oh yeah? And where are you going?Don: I’m not sure yet. But I know I am heading out. Would you like to come along?Paul: Will women be wherever it is you’re going.Don: Yeah. Women seem to show up wherever I go.Paul: I don’t understand women.Don.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/576748/ Beau: Maybe… I don’t want to be sad.Maureen: Yes. I don’t know.Beau: I don’t know either.Maureen: I have stuff to do. Could we have this conversation never?Beau: Yeah but I sort of want to have it, you know?Maureen: Umm, yeah, but still… can this be the sort of talk t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/571176/ I love you so much.Sucks to be you,. Huh?Huh?I don’t love you.How can you not love me when I love you?Because I’m not stupid.I beg to differ.Excuse me?We’re both good-looking. Speak for yourself.You don’t think I’m attractive?No.How come?I just don’t.Be specific.W.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/570304/ Have: So, why are you here?Greer: I need to get some stuff.Have: Uh huh. Yeah. Okay. Well, I just moved in here so I don’t know where any of your stuff is or if I even have it anymore.Greer: Well, I need it. Have: Well, I’m sorry but I might not have it, and I don’t really want to .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/570295/ Ken: Listen it all has to do with never getting enough. That's why youlook around and you see people taking any kind of job just to affordsome brand-new cd from the latest fad. Maybe the fad wears funkyclothing or swears a lot, comes off as some sort of hip individualistalthouygh all they re.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/569188/ Steven: I see your girlfriend just walked by. Benny: I don’t have a girlfriend. You know I can’t even talk to her. Steven: I saw you talking to her the other day. You looked sort of close to me. I even thought you might be dating. Benny:That would be great but no. The only reason we w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/569184/ Paul: Hey there, hot stuff. I want to do things to you that cannot be mentioned in a place as nice as this. Amanda: Well, you’re hot. Paul: I am well aware of my hotness. Amanda: Ok. I’m out of here. Paul: That did not go well. Hey there, young lady, do you want to lick my lollipop? Eliz.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/569182/ George: Why do you believe there is so much inequality and cruelty in the world? Gretchen: Let’s not get started on this. I want to go read. George:Yes, yes, you read those novels of suspense and mystery. Read the talesof men and women that live for lust and sex, and people who becomehap.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/569180/ Hop: I’m smitten…. Is that word? No? Maybe? See whenever I get to this point… Pippy: Which point? Oh, that one, yes. The point which leads to… Hop:Well, no… Yes, maybe… Not exactly but I think you’re beginning to getthe idea…. See, I have had.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/569179/ Bobby: It’s all about going on that endless quest and figuring out what we’re all here for.Viv:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Quiet down, simmer down over there. Just, come on,let me have the floor for a minute. Ok? It’s time to shut up, Bobbyboy! Ok, no, that’s old hat. It’s .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/569178/ Byron: Fern. Fern: Byron. Byron: Get in the car. I want to take you some place very special today. Fern: I would rather browse the internet. Byron: I am the man. I am in charge. Do what I ask or you will be punished. Fern: Yes, Your Majesty. Byron: I love being in control. Fern: I was joking, of cou.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/569177/ (Reginald is as arrogant and as unapproachable as they come. He is tall and ugly, and without any social graces. He says exactly what he feels and thinks every moment and yet he never utters one curse word. He is such a martyr and he is cooler and better than the rest of us. Is he correct or incorre.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/568713/ Him: Company?Her: Yes we have company coming.Him: I don’t want any company tonight.Her: Well, they’re coming.Him: Well, I don’t like that one bit.Her: They’re coming anyway.Him: I’ll stay in my room.Her: You will not.Him: I want to move to Europe.Her: We’ll talk a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/568696/ I don’t care much for the shoes he is wearing. He wears blue ones. I hate the color blue. He must wear the color I like or he gets it.What exactly is he going to get?Death.It appears that you’re a dictator in the making. Meaning you refuse to advance beyond the mental age of 6. Yes this .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/568680/ I have been asked about what I write. What do I write? Why do I write it? Why do the characters never say anything that makes sense? Do they live in another universe or another time? Are you brilliant or stupid? Do you really need all these answers? No, but you want them just as I want to confuse yo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/568675/ Karen: Hey, Fred!Fred: Karen! I love you, darling.Karen: I love you, too!Fred: What should we do for dinner?Karen: We’ll worry about that later. I just want to be with you right now. Let’s cuddle.Fred: Sounds fun. (They kiss and get ready to cuddle.)(Lights.)Fred: Honey, I’m home!K.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/566944/ Dan: Do you think my plays have any meaning?Violet: (Again? How many times have she and Dan had this conversation?) I don’t know, Dan. You write them.Dan: Yeah. Yeah. Hey, get off your butt and read this scene with me.Violet: You’re such a charmer, Dan.Dan: Hey, I never said I was any wh.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/566921/ Divan: We must go to the backroom.Harold: Oh, yes. I don’t want to know what goes on back there. I’d rather just play this piano. You see I always wanted to be a torch singer. To sing those songs of great loss and longing, and finding love and finally understanding who you are, or discov.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/566912/ Dirk: Okay. What's the deal. Margaret: The deal is no concern of yours.Dirk: But it is my concern. If it isn't my concern then I have no concern.Maragaret: Correct. So, it thus appears that you have nothing to concern you today.Dirk: But I need something to concern me or I will die of being unconcer.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/565468/ Isolation. Loneliness. Alienation. Loser. Fraud. Phony. Jerk. Irresponsible. Mean. Cruel. Uncaring. Unfeeling. Useless. Stupid. Circle. Square. A*s. Pig. Squealer. Peon. Nothing. Chimp. Neanderthal. Continues. Continues. Never ends. Never ends. Here. Alone. Not a soul. Not a body. Not a thought. Not.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/565060/ http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/565059/ I never meant a word of it. I became too big and brash. I did not want your spirit to crash down, to lose all sense of time and sound. I did not mean it, did not anticipate it, did not envision it would turn out like this. How stupid we can be when we forget to think, froget to link, and all we do i.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/565057/ Stop the whole act, don’t be such a cocky cat. Don’t put on all the pretension, don’t be a part of the commotuion, settle it down, settle it down, settle it down. Take it easy and oh so free and lazy, but not too lazy don’t throw yourself into  your former life, your for.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/565054/ So obsessed with not being all alone… But I am never alone… I’m just not okay with the toxic environment that surrounds me. Where should I go, Oh One? Is there a place for me? I see the problem now. Thank you. I just needed to realize how much I was wasting. Wasting away, stuck i.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/565051/ Helen: They said I wasn't the right type. I was too fat or too skinny. Or that my eyes were too dark or too light. Or maybe they told me I was too ugly or too beautiful to live. I honestly don't remember because I wasn't paying attention.Tyson: Don't worry about it, my dear, you'll get one of them o.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/564729/ It is very late. Darkness, blackness envelops the particular location. Hurts do not affect or deter, or detract from feelings, of lost items or of former loves. Former loves, now that’s a sport, an eternal game which never leaves, never dissolves, never drowns if only you  know the differ.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/564218/ It is very late. Darkness, blackness envelops the particular location. Hurts do not affect or deter, or detract from feelings, of lost items or of former loves. Former loves, now that’s a sport, an eternal game which never leaves, never dissolves, never drowns if only you  know the differ.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Clowndude/564216/