http://slow.writerscafe.org/JaneStones The original writings of author Jane Stones en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776016696 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 If I could take a chainsaw and cut open my rib cage, I could breatheThis is anxietyIf I could I'd slice a line open between my hip bones to give my squirming, thickened organs room to moveThis is anxietyIf I could stop sweating so much, If I could stop biting the skin off my nails till they bleed, I.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/2781437/ I was born red. Fiercesome, Dramatic. Spirited but silenced, white paint added through the years to a little girl who didn't know your hatred voiced your fearsSo she dimmed. quiet. mannered. gentle. perfectly pretty pink light. I Rebirth Red. Passionate Theatrics. Aggressive .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/2764207/ I sit in your home, bathed in sunlight, scent and whimsical, childhood associations of safety colliding with grownup fear.I remember days alone on the floor playing with the printers tray. Tiny random ornaments, and me the visionary of a new world.You wish to keep me as one of those glass or.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/2463047/ Because of this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=20x9xEzlODU&feature=youtu.be http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/2313939/ I had (still have) a teddy that went everywhere with me as a kid. In a moment of sheer panic as an adult in a foreign country, I craved the soft embrace of that bear, but he was at home. Or was he? http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/2172482/ Anxiety grips my insidesChest to stomach entangledVisions of little me gathering that messtossing it up up up where the food goes downOut of my mouth into my handWhere big me crushes it and sprinkles it into the sandBecause if nothing else I'm a fighterSo I'll go when I'm desperate.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/2100674/ This isn't really a poem. It's just me spilling words of one of the constant cycles the daughters of an addict live through. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/2095728/ I'm not goodI'm falling apartBut I won't tell you thatBecause I don't have the energyAnd I'm not sure I want to admit thingsSo ask me again how I amAnd expect a lieI desire to add more words hereBut even that feels like drainageIf I could sleep for a decadeI'm not sure I'd wake.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/2029723/ It's bubbling up my throatStopped by the giant lump thereThis constant pressureI wanted to stay in bedUnder the duvet, cuddling my bearThe pressure of blanketsI forced my skin upTook the meds that suppress the fearPressured to meet new facesIs it OK if I never make plans on a saturday again? http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/2028113/ I spend time telling your daughter I'm not her mama when she calls me that.After I've fetched her from school, fed her, dried her tears from the boo boo, listened to her tales, heard he fears, and laughed at the same knock knock joke over and over again.I've potty trained her and taught her .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/2025620/ I force my eyes shut begging rather to stay in the nightmares of sleep than to face the reality of consciousness. The butterflies are there before my first thoughts, frantic in their quest to escape the bounds of my skin. If I could only open my mouth and let them fly free perhaps I could ha.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1977183/ I'm not coping today.Not a bitThere's a rollercoaster in my stomach I'm dry from the outside inAnd my bones are cold Physical symptoms of an anxious mind http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1941127/ The funny thing about soul mates is so many people spend their lives trying to find theirs and yet they have no clear definition of what the soul is. We don't actually know. What would your soul mate recognise in you? Is it a sparkle? A magical familiarity? An uncontrollable pull? What parts of your.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1938076/ Surrounded by expensive clothes and judgemental eyesA constant toe to head analysis of my middle class attireMakeup caked faces and perfectly manicured  nails Survey my messy hair and cheap sunglassesAnd in the midst of it all you walk upWith the gift of a paper made bird and a fe.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1932957/ You and I are the same, we aren’t so differentI recognise the restlessnessThe constant craving for something more … insatiable,unbearable, inescapableA yearning for adventure, any thrill beyond the everydayroutine that sucks the life out of your soulStuck in the .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1904373/ Not even you accept me. I'm once again InadequateThe nameless faceless don't respond Their silence screamsInadequateI'm a closed book open for you to readYet I refuse to respond for fear I'm Inadequate I'm a liar telling the truth to youBegging you to prove I'm notInadequ.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1833793/ I can't seem to find the words to explain the filth hidden in honourable titles ...A 'gentlemens' club called 'Chivalry'Justification for a lieA night at Teasers before taking his pure wifeFacade of lost freedomA b**b job because he cheated Attempt at regaining self worthNeglec.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1831001/ I awake to face another day in myhead...                                          &n.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1803100/ You're trying nowBecause I broke down... and you walked in I can't find a song to lose myself inNo lyrics encapsulate this kind of brokenNo notes pierce the air in a way you have my heartYou're trying nowAnd im pretending to ... because you walked inYou didn't see thi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1672402/ "I won't need a man""I won't rely on that""I'll be independent"The words of a childTaken into adulthoodAnd made a realityNow I don't have a manSomeone I can rely onI'm independentNo protectorNo providerNo desireNo passionJust a person sleeping in my bedEating my f.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1667664/ I can't put it into sentences the way you make me feelJust words. ..EmptyAbandonedFrustratedAloneNeglectedUnwanted DesperateSecondary This is meant to be a partnership. It isYou partner on xbox liveMe with romance books to fill the space I have for youAnd .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1667087/ Touch meTouch me till everything fadesAnd all I can think about is your lips on my neckYour Hands down my sideFeel meFeel me like there is no other And I believe you , that you need us to be oneYou buried inside meFree me Free me from this lustthis darkness I hide from you w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1656710/ You're the drunkardThe one whose left me waitingToo many timesJust a child believing lies You're the drunkardThe one who threw hurtful wordsBroke every sense of my prideJust an adolescent believing liesYou're the drunkardThe one whose called me taxi driver1... 2... 3... amJ.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1638864/ I do not believe in soul matesMy soul belongs only to the one who created it I don’t trust love at first sightThis is the very definition of ‘blind love’ His and her towels require drowning in tearsAn acceptance of faultsA compromise of.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1601754/ Im not capable of that kinda love where your very next breathe relies on their inhalation Im not capable of that kind of bondWhere your day is planned around theirs and your nights are theirsIf you were to go I'd be sadBut I'd be ok I'd miss you for awhile...but not.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1590870/ It doesn’t matter that I did my bestBy world standards it not good enoughBecause I can’t do mathsIt doesn’t matter I spent more time than you nose in books, brain overloadedBecause I can't do scienceIt doesn’t matter that I tell myself I can That I believe I will achieveBecau.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1583988/ I can’t write What’s to say when there’s nothing to feel?Apathetic, numbNo passion no zeal I’m deadWalking deadBreathing deadContradictionMy life and death wed How do I feel again?How do I bleed?And screamA.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1579968/ A heart sunk by angerInhaling wet darknessChoking out any real emotion of love and peace and compassiontill a cold hard corpse surfacesBreaking freeChin upEyes deadly focused but lifelessHell bent on vengeanceBreathing in bitternessThe Walking dead http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1566440/ For you its Fathers day…A new tie for dad, maybe a pair of socksPerhaps he’ll wear them once in a while to the church down the streetEventually put them in the charity basket.A meal of indulgence, dads favourite everything, overfill belliesFor them it’s just another day…Clo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1564820/ It pierces the quietThat familiar songOur songNow a premonition of this situationI don’t answerLet it keep playingOur memoriesThe few good times on re-run in my headIt’s that time of day again where I don’t know if it’s safeto answerAnd I worry if it’s s.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1561112/ It's my sin that giantGoliath mocks meoverwhelming my will powerHe stands there defiantIts me the cowering Israelitedressed in biblical armournothing more than a humanunable to finish the fightIts Him with a sling and stonemy Jesus the boy DavidHe stands defiant over my sin.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1560702/ I write because im restless http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1560700/ I thrive on dramaMy life's a stage a heartbreaking tale Of which I’m the author ...and the directorI choose the plotA masquerade of misery I choose the actorsA battalion of betrayalI create an atmosphere of full emotionIt leaves my audience breathlessGasping for air.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1558465/ Praise for my maker ... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1552909/ If you just keep driving ill put the music louder, stare out the window and pretend we going anywhere but home The streetlights look like adventure ... like the dreams of yesterday now in a catacombClassic rock will fill the car and ill reminisce about better days.... longer nig.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1552091/ I told God today that I don't feel very high up on your list...Somewhere under soccer, xbox games and work priorities And I heard the gentle reply"My child where am I on your list?"Somewhere under misery, bitterness and self righteous superiority. An.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1552090/ PedanticThere’s aword for you And guesswhat I spelt it correctly JudgementalThat’s anotherword Though “liveand let live” is your theme ConfrontationYou thriveon itTo prove you are right indirectly Op.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1545664/ You say you want deepYou say you want intensityBut how do you write a poem filled with emotion in a heartless world?When all around is hatred                          &nb.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1535097/ My ticket to hell is stamped with my inability to submit http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1535081/ Blue... the only colour pen I haveShowing the bruises...the ones no one can seeNot physicallyBut inside If you'll only take the time you'll see them                         &n.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1535064/ Blank PageI need to writeBut the words wont comeBecause I'm blank Just an overwhelming sadnessI don't have tears to cryI don't have words to ventJust the sentence repeating in my head"maybe we should find you a way to deal with your stress?"I'M FINEThere's wine in the fridge, I haven't drunk itThere.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1535059/ I love you more than pineapple sweetsMore that coke, milo and cauliflower cheese I love you more than the summer sunThe cosmos in autumn and the season of spring I love you more than red wineSugar beach ice creams and braaivleis & pap I love y.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1524341/ ‘Hmm more leaves falling…’ she saysAnd I can’t understand why she can’t see the art The gentle fall - a symbol of letting go that which entrapsThe sound of leaves carried down by the wind - a sweet melody of hopeThe covered grass - scattered re.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1519487/ We’refriends now… from behind screensHere where I’mforced to think before I speak so as not to offend like I always do We’refriends now… through typed words and smileysI can avoidthe passionate heated discussions that ruin my every oth.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1518750/ I know… I know there is no hopeMy belief has been shattered 1000 times more My trust turned into nothing but naïveté It’s like a poison this despairIt sucks the life out of me like liceDrains me of anything good I know … I know there.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1518630/ Amazing how a song can have just the right composition ofnotes and lyrics that when you’re SCREAMING IT OUTit feels like your heartscoming out of your throat How that song becomes a part of you..And you move with it,Knowing every change in tempopitcheverything .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1505162/ when admiration is beckoningyou try and exercise self controlto stay out of harms wayand convince yourself you are happier and better off aloneso i slow slow slow things downshowing patients doesnt come easily but its an art i will have to learn to master nowmy dear i have so m.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1505159/ Broken…Another family brokenAnother heart brokenBut there are no tears to cryNo shock at the words… he is gone as well…It’s just another one lost because of sinJust the numb feeling of nothing but brokenness Because they could.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1505156/ Part of a series of poems that talk of a relationship. The first poem is not mine to publish - so its not here. It was titled THE RED THAT HAS NO NAME http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1448334/ To add words to a pageIts become a stranger to meAn art buried for yearsAn outlet that belonged to a teenage girl who felt too muchWhen did the words stop.Perhaps when the heart stopped..When there was no longer reason to breathe emotionThey are resurrected now these wordsRising out of me like blood.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/JaneStones/1447583/