http://slow.writerscafe.org/mercystateofmind The original writings of author mercystateofmind en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776047151 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 This is tiring. How do you know? That she isnt cheating? She even said once she might as well, you keep asking her. What if she's meeting someone at lunch? Having small dates and not telling you? What if she's deleting texts she's sending at work? Maybe messaging others and knowing its wrong, but do.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2759297/ The s**t about having to deal with any type of disorder is what you go through, and what everyone else will go through with you. You will have to remind yourself your worth, grow your confidence, your strength, your desire to keep going. You will also have to deal with anyone in your life growin.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2171408/ The longer I'm in a relationship the more I learn I might not be cut out for this. I have a million and one insecurities, I cannot calm my mind for anything, and all I do is stress my partner out. Bad enough my partner has hurt me themselves, but add that to my paranoia and its chaos. I cant tru.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2150638/ Everyday is another day that I'm able to overcome my fears and insecurities. From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, I am in a battle with my subconscious to prove that I can trust and love like a normal person. Every day my fiancee gives me access to her phone and social media accou.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2146642/ I wake up and I realize I have another day of life. I have the opportunity to make the necessary changes to become a better person. The potential can be endless depending on how I view the world. However, the world isn't as optimistic or forgiving. I am reminded my f**k ups, my let downs, my shortco.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2135898/ WhenI started to write this, everything was fine. Circumstances have hurt you, andI wish we didn’t have to work so I can cheer you up. I wrote this while youmade that salmon I like, trying to make sure I got my feelings written downcorrectly. Hopefully this post will remind you that yo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2095011/ Yesterday had a few bumps. But nothing we couldn’t overcome. Her best friend came with us to an event. She was with him and at no point was I insecure or jealous. To the point I started to think, “she’s been with me all week, she barely sees this person.” So when she came up .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2067471/ Yesterday was amazing. No insecurities, no stupidity, no questions. I’ve been able to keep it together. I still have moments every so often. When I hear them planning things and they cuddle up, in scared it’s because names they don’t want me hearing will be mentioned. But that&rsqu.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2067281/ Yesterday went well. I messed up and asked one question earlier one and didn’t mess up again. However, I asked one more question that had nothing to do with insecurity and I received an extremely stern response. If it looks as if the question can be seen as coming from insecurity, then that&rs.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2067052/ Yesterday i didnt do so bad. she demanded i ask the questions because she wanted to know how i felt. we talked about the situation and we had an amazing day. today i asked a question and i noticed it bothered her. so for the rest of the day i wont ask. it wasnt as hard to hold back or just talk abo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2066855/ I didnt ask her who she was talking to on the phone. i even saw her writing paragraphs to someone, didnt ask who it was. i didnt ask her what she was doing on her phone. there was no force of intimacy, touching only progressed when she made it clear its what she wanted.i didnt ask her if she seeked.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2066650/ I have come to an intersection of life that i am all too familiar with at this point. Another relationship slowly failing because of my crippling paranoia. The fear of being hurt by someone i love entirely is causing me to push away the very person i want to spend the rest of my life with. This is .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2066468/ When I was 15 turning 16 I wasintroduced to a girl named Tiffany who would become, in her own way, my highschool sweetheart. Our first convo lasted till 4 in the morning, and most ofour convos there after lasted for hours at a time as well. We would findexcuses to call each other earlier, an.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2064306/ I must deal with a permanentdisorder that is consistently surfacing whenever it damn well pleases. This disordermixed with a horrible past makes me damn near impossible to be around on aserious level. I make people laugh, I make people feel good, I make peoplebelieve I don’t fight suic.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/2055330/ It’s been 72 hours. We could never go longer than 2 hourswithout talking. We could hate each other to the core at that moment, but wecouldn’t go for more than 120 minutes without knowing if the other was ok.Friday and Saturday are just alcohol induced blurs that I have no realrec.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/1886089/ Could it be that I’m too damaged to be in a lovingrelationship?Could it be the molestation I suffered for years as a childleaving me to fear sexual relationships?Could it be that I had the luck of being in a badrelationship, and carried that pain into a loving relationship?.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/1848348/ The worst part about finally being ahead of your dark stagehas to be people telling you how it was just a phase. How the depression yousuffered is a past time, and that you no longer have a reason to be down. Thefact you are doing ok now is your downfall, as people all put in their twocents .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/1723955/ Life with a mental disorder http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/1586807/ There is nothing about me that willbe concrete till the end of time. There is nothing about me that will travelthe galaxies. All I am is a life form on a planet, in a galaxy, surrounded bynothing and everything. My accomplishments can be wiped from existence i.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/1494552/ I have spent over two yearsgrowing this hatred that festers within my soul. The anger created by someone Ihave loved greater than family and friends, a bond I believed would take us tothe grave hand in hand. Two years have gone and I still find myself in my room,.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/mercystateofmind/1477251/