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		<title>J. R. | WritersCafe.org</title>
		<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/numbernone</link>
		<description>The original writings of author J. R.</description>
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		<copyright>Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org</copyright>
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		<ttl>15</ttl>
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			<title>50 Facts You Get From Conservapedia</title>
			<description>A little bit of fun. For those of you that don't know, Conservapedia is like Wikipedia except instead of actual facts it has a ton of insane creationist, xenophobic, and just-plain-wrong bullshit.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/1012926/</link>
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			<title>Screw This Fic: Weird Fetish Fics</title>
			<description>It's been a while.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/992966/</link>
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			<title>Rupert B. Fukwitte On the Pyramids</title>
			<description>Rupert B. Fukwitte, esteemed conspiracy theorist and airplane glue enthusiast lays down the cold, hard truth between the pyramids.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/970816/</link>
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			<title>Crawling</title>
			<description>A story about a strange object.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/950867/</link>
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			<title>The Thing In The Woods</title>
			<description>A short horror story I wrote for another site. I'm just posting it here.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/950447/</link>
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			<title>Creep</title>
			<description>A story about obsession and anger.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/950442/</link>
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			<title>Prologue: The  Birth of Dingis.</title>
			<description>Mama and papa dashed to the carHer water's broke, He's gotta drive like madAs they wheeled her into the cold O.R.Daddy Brownell had never been more gladAnd the doctor said:&quot;Here you are, sir. Here's the tot.She spread her legs and out it popped.Out of her uterus and into the light.Came your son, a b..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/948028/</link>
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			<title>Bigots Are Shitheads</title>
			<description>I think we can all agree on this.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/941082/</link>
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			<title>Screw This Fic: KIKEN Pt. 2</title>
			<description>It hurts. </description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/940098/</link>
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			<title>To Live</title>
			<description>.,.,.,.,</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/939253/</link>
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			<title>Another Hardcore Love Poem</title>
			<description>Yeah.....</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/935692/</link>
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			<title>The Redwall Series: Abridged</title>
			<description>Once upon a time, there was a magical place called Redwall, where there lived cute little woodland critters like mice, hedgehogs, squirrels, and voles (They're the Cauca- I mean good species) and evil nig- I mean vermin species, like foxes and weasels.They have a lot of battles where good and evil a..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/910275/</link>
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			<title>Pretty</title>
			<description>This one actually has a message to it for once.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/906102/</link>
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			<title>Despair</title>
			<description>A bit of a piss take on angsty poetry</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/905203/</link>
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			<title>Caught Fapping</title>
			<description>Your roomate gives the bathroom doorA very impatient tappin'I've been caught fappin'&quot;Hurry up in there!&quot; He demandsAnd your pecker's still in you handOh man, you been caught fappin'!It sounds pretty nasty to youBut it's happened to every guySomeone barges so suddenly inAnd you're left with a stupid ..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/904998/</link>
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			<title>Screw This Fic Episode 4. KIKEN (possibly pt. 1)</title>
			<description>In which I take a look at a web 'novel'</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/881348/</link>
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			<title>Hardcore Love Poem</title>
			<description>I regret nothing</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/840059/</link>
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			<title>Everything Tom Kratman has ever written</title>
			<description>Tom Kratman is the single worst author in the English language. No, I am not exaggerating.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/815137/</link>
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			<title>Screw This Fic Episode 3</title>
			<description>I would have done this sooner but whatever...</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/809147/</link>
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			<title>Paranoia Jones and the Numbers Station</title>
			<description>Another Paranoia Jones Adventure</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/805029/</link>
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			<title>Paranoia Jones</title>
			<description>What if Encyclopedia Brown was a conspiracy theorist?</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/799549/</link>
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			<title>15: Running Against The Wind, And By Wind, I Mean Buckshot</title>
			<description>Sorry for the delay</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/799455/</link>
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			<title>Censorship is $#%@!</title>
			<description>Yeah</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/799158/</link>
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			<title>Somebody To Hate </title>
			<description>Some of us hate the RussiansSome of us hate the MalaysSome of us don't have a problemWith lynching the gaysHey, you &amp;nbsp;know what they sayAbout &quot;Them&quot;, How they steal and lieYou and all your kind must dieNothing wrong with toleranceAnd world peace would be greatBut the grim, shameful truth isWe al..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/799154/</link>
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			<title>Disaster's A-Comin'</title>
			<description>There sure are a lot of people who are obsessed with the end of the world</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/790385/</link>
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			<title>Nihilism</title>
			<description></description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/789140/</link>
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			<title>Part 14: OH CRAP....</title>
			<description>You begin scaling the church stairs, your axe ready to for any preacher or Gray that comes at you. Just when you reach the top, you hear a loud thundering and the sound of plaster breaking.You spend a few moments too scared shitless to bother figuring out what it is. Once you've taken cover behind a..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/748902/</link>
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			<title>Image Bored</title>
			<description>A tribute to a certain image bored</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/740156/</link>
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			<title>Ain't No Party Like A Donner Party</title>
			<description>No comment on this one</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/738965/</link>
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			<title>Part 13: What Have We Here?</title>
			<description>You look at the body on the table. Yeah, she's pretty good looking. She must've been a real looker when she was alive. You run your hand up and down her cold thigh and....No.... You're not going to stoop that low. You will respect the dead this time.&amp;nbsp;Moving on, you take the notebook and give it..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/738615/</link>
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			<title>Armageddon</title>
			<description>A really short one</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/738034/</link>
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			<title>Can't F**k A Porcupine</title>
			<description>I am so sorry for writing this.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/732558/</link>
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			<title>Part 12: Basement Full Of Even More Crazy</title>
			<description>You raise your axe and swing it into the weak door at full force.WHAMYou make a sizable dent and draw it back for another blowWHACK You've now made a pretty big hole, you wrench the axe out of the gash in the door and swing it with all your mightThe door has been sent crashing down and it now lays a..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/729269/</link>
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			<title>Screw This Fic Episode 2</title>
			<description>Here's another awful fic. And it is awful</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/726701/</link>
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			<title>Part 11: Boozer</title>
			<description>You decide to take a quick trip to the men's room. The restroom is in typical filthy condition. The floor tiles are cracked and some are stained yellow. There is a strange, pungent odor. You go up to one of the urinals and relieve yourself.&amp;nbsp;When you are done, you go over to one of the sinks and..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/726054/</link>
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			<title>Screw This Fic Episode 1</title>
			<description>I thought I might try out another one of my ideas. I will read a bad story and make fun of it here for you guys to see. </description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/724491/</link>
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			<title>Part 10: Church Full of Crazy</title>
			<description>You take a moment to steel your nerves and push open the heavy doors of the church.Curiously, the lights are still on. The walls are covered in scribblings. The wall to your right is covered completely in messy writing reading &quot;ON THE THIRD DAY HE WILL RISE&quot; repeated over and over. The pews are thre..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/724392/</link>
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			<title>Part 9: MC's Got a Gun</title>
			<description>Sorry for the delay.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/720709/</link>
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			<title>Chapter 8: Kick Bubblegum  and Chew A*s</title>
			<description>You head down the darkened path, ever ready to swing your axe. You hear faint sounds of crawling and mumbling.&amp;nbsp;Suddenly, something leaps out at you and knocks you to the ground. You back up and quickly clamber to your feet. &amp;nbsp;Before you stands a &amp;nbsp;deplorable object of a man. His skin is..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/718402/</link>
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			<title>Part 7: Paranoia, Paranoia. Everybody's Coming To Get Me</title>
			<description>You check around the place for any Tribalax or Rocky Road ice cream that survived the &quot;overrun by crazies&quot; period of time. Alas, you have no such luck.Jay calls in, sounding slightly impatient.&quot;Could you do me a favor and check on Rica?&quot;You shrug and stroll on down to the security station.You rap on..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/714756/</link>
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			<title>Part 6: Ads and malfunctions</title>
			<description>You briefly consider checking out the electronic store,but just as you stop toward the the sign falls to the floor with a great crash and the neon light breaks open sending bright orange sparks flying. You step over the sign and peer into the store.The store is ransacked just like the hardware store..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/713420/</link>
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			<title>Part 5: FINE</title>
			<description>You decide to check the computer at the reception desk. &amp;nbsp;It's a sleek silver and black model with a matching keyboard. You go through the computer's files, not finding anything really noteworthy.You dig &amp;nbsp;around in your pockets and pull the flash drive out. It's about time you found out wha..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/711773/</link>
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			<title>Part 4: Ground Floor</title>
			<description>&quot; Where are you exactly?&quot; You ask Jay.&quot;I'm holed up in a storage house in District Gamma. I sent Nick up to look for any survivors in Medical and he's the one who slipped you the com-talk. Take the elevator down a floor and I'll give you directions from there. Okay?&quot;&quot;I'm on it.&quot; You were planning on..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/710818/</link>
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			<title>Part 3. You Know What They Say About Curiosity</title>
			<description>An odd sort of idea strikes you as you stand in the hall. You retreat back to your room and&amp;nbsp;immediately&amp;nbsp;climb back on the chair under the AC unit.You carefully remove the screws holding the unit together with you screwdriver. &amp;nbsp;You take the AC's front plate and set it on the floor. The..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/709991/</link>
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			<title>Part 2: Looking Around</title>
			<description>The first thing you do is decide that something must be done about the AC.You take a chair that's been sitting by the table and place it under the AC unit.You stand on the chair and turn the AC dial to 'off'The humming of the AC dies and you can feel a big difference already.Stepping down, you decid..</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/709313/</link>
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			<title>Part 1: Where Are We?</title>
			<description>Part one of the interactive story</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/708941/</link>
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			<title>Deep Space Escape: An Interactive Story</title>
			<description>I thought I'd might try out this crazy idea I had. </description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/708819/</link>
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			<title>Modern Politics</title>
			<description>Yeah...</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/706499/</link>
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			<title>Terry Goodkind's Abridged Works</title>
			<description>Terry Goodkind is a hack, 'nuff said.</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/698256/</link>
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			<title>Part 5: Dream</title>
			<description>Anne has a dream</description>
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			<link>http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/numbernone/695802/</link>
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