http://slow.writerscafe.org/samanthaashley_ The original writings of author samanthaashley_ en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1775996402 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 I think I love herBut not in that way- The way that makes your palms sweatYour heart beat out of your chest when she callsThe kind that lifts your feet off the ground.Or maybe that's infatuation.I can't remember what love feels like anymoreI'm supposed to be in love...I think I love someone who tell.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/2820237/ My life after surviving a mass shooting and the subsequent craziness in my head. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/2014920/ Four years later, I woke up knowing this date meant something--The day I fell for your words again.Manipulation drove the fear I held onto so tightly.I needed you. To go anywhere. To be worth anything.It's ok. I need you. I am lost. I am nothing.Excitement plastered on my face, you are doing me a fa.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/2014918/ You threw me away like a half-finished cigarette you didn't have time to finishBecause each one cuts 11 minutes off your lifeAnd I wasn't worth the habit http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1759594/ There isn't a louder silence in my headThan there was on the night I realizedThat I am starting to forget how your voice soundsI replay the words you said compulsivelyTrying to remember the way they soundedWhen they left your mouthBut now I say those wordsTo someone elseAnd when I replay themI blend.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1759589/ My truth isn't covered in diamonds that sparkle like my eyesIt isn't laced with pale, pink roses that reflect their beauty onto my cheeksMy truth isn't a vibrant story that radiates excitement like my smileIt isn't anything you would want to seeMy words aren't a beautiful song that captures your att.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1656924/ I hate being angry. I hate feeling stupid and crazy and out of control. And the worst part is that I know I do this to myself. I quantify my self-worth with a number circled in red pen or the number on a scale. I judge my achievements by measuring how many acronyms I can memorize or how close I am t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1528997/ I don't want to go outsideBut maybeThe sun will make me happy againI don't want to help myselfBut maybeI deserve more than this painI can't stand to see your faceBut maybeSeeing you will make me strongerI can't stand you next to meBut maybeI'll remember why we no longer share a bed I won't let .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1521441/ Tell me I can't do it.I'll do it better than I could have ever imagined.Tell me I can't do it.I need to prove you wrong.Tell me I can't do it.I need the motivation.Tell me I can't do it.I need those words to carry on.So tell me I can't do it, please.I don't want to give up yet.Tell me I can't do it. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1518363/ Is it wrong that I still like to test the waters?I want to see that I still have controlOver my life.I act out in obsessions and compulsions.I sabotage myselfJust to see if I can survive the intervention.Is wrong that I live in a fantasy?That some day everything will be the way I believe it should b.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1515841/ I tried to sleep.Every time I closed my eyesI pictured myself grasping the bottle on my nightstand."Stop.""How many pills do I have left?""Stop.""You don't need another one."I tried to talk myself out of the chaos that could soon ensue.I imagined the unmanageability of the next day,The incapacity to.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1514685/ contest writing :) http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1514664/ I wish I was convincedThat this would make me stronger http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1514507/ 3am thoughts http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1514504/ a piece for the six-word story contest http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1514280/ a submission for a six-word writing contest http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1514273/ I stood at the edge of a cliffOne that looks the way I imagine they do in CapetownSo beautifulI wasn't afraid, though I was aloneAnd I stared into the sky aboveMy eyes pierced the parallel ocean belowAnd my cliff seemed to separate the two places you could be.I screamed your nameWaiting for you to a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1514255/ I'm afraid to sleep. I'm afraid to dream about you again.. to have another day that I can't stop thinking about you. Another day I spend angry at the world. I want to miss you because I never want to forget you. I just wish I missed you less, and consequently, this would hurt less. I dreamt about ou.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1514253/ There's something attractive about breaking the rules.I smoke a cigarette today.And then another.And another.I didn't know I craved dishonesty until I lit that first one.I traded transparency for secrets,Then vulnerability for self-sufficiency.I lied today.I said I was ok.I said it again.And again.T.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1514249/ I recently lost one of my best friends, and I can't stop writing about him. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/samanthaashley_/1514244/