http://slow.writerscafe.org/audricarlevaro The original writings of author Audri Carlevaro en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776041289 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 New year, new me; cliche it may be, But f**k mental illness, I’m working on me in 2019. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/2086167/ p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545}p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14.0px}Monsters have learned to cryAngels weep in a darkened skyAnd we fightFor things we.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/2039690/ p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545}It’s something the loved don’t understand�"the aching cold of not fitting in.Heart pounding hatefully in your chest,and brain reminding you of all the rest.Denying.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/2016877/ half my lifeis spent in residual panicsomehow charging upthrough past embarrassmentpunishmentand consequencestwisting and curling through my gutlike it’s all thats left of mefragments built upthrough painshattering through thoughtsrushing through my brainbut th.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/2002091/ p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545}p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14.0px}I'd give anything to give up.I'd sell my soul to the highest bidder -I'd break my ow.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1988319/ What is a life to you? Is it an empty gaze in a bloodied field that once was a school that once was a sancutary that once was a home or a church http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1965192/ Have you ever felt hollow, like a home in a tree, like there's something to love inside that you can't see. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1907497/ I woke up one day, no longer a child, not quite a woman. The pieces I was made up of shattered over night and splintered through my heart. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1904969/ Wanna open the blinds, Wanna feel the sun on my skin. Gotta embrace what I am, Gotta love all that i’ve been. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1891423/ we are puzzles, a bit of life on each piece that i hand to you and you pass to me. misshapen, and never quite where we’re meant to be http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1890133/ I cannot love you,or anyone.I cannot protect you,or hold you.I cannot befriend you,for I’ll hurt you.It is inevitable,the pain my presence brings.I’m no good,I will never be worthyof you,or anyone.I cannot be there for you,cannot trust you.I will betray you,and I will eventually hate you.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1878573/ p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545}p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14.0px}LOVE.I see it everywhere.I hear it in every breath;I long for it.butI am s.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1878535/ November Rains You think you have people.And maybe you do.But the facts are simple,Even if the reality isn't.They don't know how,Couldn't possibly understandWhat you're going through.Maybe it's because youCan't make yourself say it.Can't give up that power,Allow yourself to.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1849514/ there was a time when i smiledand laughed and danced with friendswhen thoughts raced through my mindat such an impossible speed thati could not find the time to keep up.when everyone was a friend,even when they proved themselves enemy.when i forgave cruelty and heartl.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1837174/ Opportunity arises, when failure surprises. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1834250/ You took me away;Broke me out of my cage.I’ve been trapped all of my life,But you’ve given me the strengthTo say goodbye.I’m standing on the precipice But my world is only beginning.My anger and strife in this lifeHas not yet fadedBut you&rs.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1804540/ I don't want a lot, I don't need a lot. I'm not a missile waiting to take off, Your hand doesn't need to be ready, Your heart doesn't need to be steady. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1794988/ There’s this feeling.You get it after an intense session of writing.Kind of numb, kind of proud.Kind of lost, kind of found. It’s an in-between land. I’m here, but I’m somewhere far away.I want to share it with everyone,because wow look at .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1792999/ They are the fears hidden in the space between the keys. They are the one thing, my partner cannot scribe for me, because they are the part of me that words are incapable of mending. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1792991/ I fell for the monster under my bed He promised things I've never had Opened my eyes to a future I've never even dreamed of. I fell for the monster under my bed, He smiled and held my hand.Through the good and bad. So mesmerized was I,So in love, I did not see the danger ahead. H.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1790514/ IOne, two,Don’t open the door.Three, four,He’s looking for you.Five, six,It’s the perfect bait,Seven, eight,Where blood and tears mix.Nine, ten,Beware! For you may lose yourself.Eleven, twelve,He’s listening to all good men.IIA true story.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1787950/ What am I supposed to do?I fell for the man thatEverybody else loves, too.What am I supposed to do?There's no guide or mapOn how to love you.What am I supposed to do?You stole my heart where I sat,And I've become lost in you.What am I supposed to do?You've filled an ever growing gap,A place reserved.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1786931/ It's a rare night that she can see the stars. Once a month or so she'll get a glimpse of one shimmering up in the sky. But before it can even offer an answer, the city smog closes back up, and she's left staring at the blackened, charcoal sky. One night, she'd drive.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1783776/ I can’t tell you.I can’t say it out loud.I’ll whisper in the night,when the wind is high.I’ll write it intoevery poem I breathe.but I can’t admit this -this thing to you. The truth is,it’s hard to face.This realizati.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1783503/ I'm dying Only I'm not. All I can think, Is I'm trapped. I can't get out. I can't escape my own body. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1781361/ I never understoodthat old clichewhere the look in someones eyescould be compared to a summers day.Or how when they cry,they’re an ocean with unending waves.I just didn’t get it.I didn’t think I would evercompare someones eyes to aglistening orb of ebbingblue and green.I used to la.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1781102/ If they'd told me I'd fall for youI'd have offered them the numberTo the local psych ward -After a sufficient Google searchTo ensure they receivedThe proper care they'd need. If they'd said to me,"One day you'll look up,And realize he's the one."I'd have raised an eyebrow,Pulled .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1780423/ But like the pastel beauty way up high, My love for you weighs me down, Pulls me apart, And makes me rain on a sunny day. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1780196/ It will be in my death, That one last splintering breath, That I will know My life was worth living. I have faith in this more than anything. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1774938/ Her body lay amongst the flowers �"(He killed her).The kiss of death met her lips �"(She loved him)She lay there for hours �"(He only wanted revenge.)For two years her lips met his �"(She didn't expect this end)Her naivety was her demise �".. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1774933/ As kids we're askedWhat we want to be when we grow upAnd whatever the answer - That's our goal.Our dream. It's a promiseThat we will succeed.Only. As we age,we slowly come to the realizationThat they lied to us. That they took that promiseAnd with their moneyAnd their war.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1774451/ Felt the words sear through my skin,So I helped and carved them.Felt the pain splash into my being,So I helped let it run free.Felt the anger of everybody,So I took it out on me.I'm not perfect, far from it actually.But you'd think after so long they'd see,Theyd see that I'm not really me. They'd se.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1773737/ II watchedAs the shower waterTurned to blood.I contributed.Scratched, cut, clawed,Bled and bled and bledUntil the walls were red.I wanted to die.I was ready to collapse.Let my life end.I was 16.III picked up the bottleI was hesitant;Sobbing.I felt like there was no option �"I had to end .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1773734/ Her eyes glow like the moon,deceptively kind, as they rake over you.An enchantress of the night,she captures your gaze,and promises to hold tight.She’ll take your hand in hers,whisper secrets in your ear;A guarantee of a night to remember.Her hips sway wi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1773730/ Theres an ocean in his eyes,Drifting, dancing shamelesslyThrough the ebbing water of night.He makes me laugh when he makes me cry.Sun shines through the windows of his soul,Glimmering, singing mischievously.An all encompassing show with no control - Hes a nightma.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1773406/ Hes indescribable.Which makes my job hard.I’m meant to compareAnd contrast - Delve deep into who he is,Create a picture close to his perfection.But I can’t.He leaves me speechless,in situations where words should flow.When I think I cancount on my.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1773405/ He’s got a weird face,And bad music taste.A loud laugh, and wrinkled cheeks.Funny hair and a strange personality.Hes a bit of a dick,And he’s weirdly proud of it.He’s judgey and crude,And he has a bit of an attitude. Sometimes, he can be cruel, .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1773403/ And I don’t know what to say. Because I look at you, then me, And, really, there’s no comparing. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1773399/ Someone told me I’m obsessive,compulsive,But, no, not obsessive compulsive.I’m a strange case, they say,Peculiar but not crazy.Insane, but I’ve beenhit with a dose of sanity.Hard to pin down -Except . . . I’m there,lying face fi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1773397/ You let me thinkI had a friend But now look at me; I'm miserable Because I was so naive. Too naive to seeWhat you reallyThought of me.It's my own fault, really, But I can still be angry.  http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1773005/ They say love is A lot of things. Crazy and wonderful and Heartbreaking And it is, It's all of those things. But it's more. And it's so much less, Nowhere near as complex. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1773004/ When you talk, there’s a click.Something shifting, dancing, forming,With every motion the second hand ticks - I’m falling faster than i can catch.Missed a step and gazing up at you,Wondering if this is a ridiculous mismatchor if my mind has perfected the .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1772997/ Someone said it’s okay to love you,and I believed them.Next time I won’t be so innocent. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1771864/ You are a blue sky lullaby.You areThe shapes of the clouds,dancing, shifting in the sky.The laughter of pointing children -The sugary sweetness ofpopsicle kisses.The soft breeze that rustlesgreen leaves in the trees.You areA taste of heaven on a beautiful day.My sweet, blue sky lullaby. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1771860/ Roses are red,Violets are blue.Sometimes I rememberThat I miss you.You fucked with my head,Wrecked my heart,And when I walked away �"It was a whole new start.Sometimes I rememberYour face and voice,Bad habits and hobbies,And think back on the choiceThat I made that day.I say you broke my.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1771858/ I was just a kid when I lost you,I didn't quite understand it...But you were crying,So I was crying too.I don't remember a lot about you,I remember just a few things.You always made me smile,You made 'daddy' seem less bad...Im the same age you were that day,Sixteen and finally understanding the worl.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1771855/ I'm all out. Empty, and waiting. Thumb out. Heart racing. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1771247/ my life is a world of loneliness and all I have to do is reach out http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1769168/ The girl in the mirror says to me, "Don't fall in love, it only ends in tragedy." http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1768472/ Nothing is as calming as a thunderstorm. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/audricarlevaro/1767857/