http://slow.writerscafe.org/christinap21 The original writings of author christina en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1775991261 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 this pain inside meit is a living thing i arch my back against the scream rallying inside meclawing its way up my throat trying to lock the anguish inside i squeeze my eyes so tightly shut that tears slip out and bright spots dot my vision with a few simple words you have broken mere.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2116705/ on days that thoughts tear through me like knivesall the world is silent i collapse in on myself like a dying fireembers that once birthed bright, beautiful flame dwindle into smoke and cinders and i search for the answers in the remnants of myself but the aching.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2113734/ in the days after my mind murmured a resounding truthhow awful, it saidhow cruel and utterly useless that my heart is alive in my chest and his is not http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2113644/ i wish someone had told mebefore our lips even touched for the first timethat you looked like sunshine but burned like firethat you’d love me and break me all at oncethat you could love no one more than yourselfbut not a single soul opened their mouths to whisper a warning bec.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2113093/ sometimes, I fear that my heart lays interred in the ground cold and empty in a grave alongside the boy who took it with him when he left this earth too early when he promised me forever and a day though his time had already run outsometimes, I fear that I will.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2111556/ the last time we spokeI was stumbling through sentencesmy lips were tainted with tequila because it tastes so much like youin a whisper, I asked if you still loved meand you answered, “with all my heart”but that’s the differenceto me, you are my heartyou are .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2111305/ in my nightmaresthere is death and dyingfor those I lovein my dreamsas I knock back a bottle of pillsand swig from a fifth of tequilathe death I mournis my own http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2094600/ stockholm syndromethe words are jarring as they reach my earslike cymbals crashing together out of rhythmloud and shocking, like I've never heard them beforeit sounds wrong wrong wrongthat couldn't possibly be ithe's my dad, it's not like that at allis it?maybe I wasn't held captive but ma.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2093418/ he calls me baby when we fuckand in that moment we slip back into familiarityold habits like kisses that linger too long to be platonica slow touch that communicates much more than desirethis is just supposed to be sexat first, the air is hazy with smoke and thick with tensionsilence separates us li.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2090379/ you said a few words and flashed me that smileand just like thati was sunshine in the palm of your handaching to warm your skin with minefalling back into place with youbecause even though i am not yours to hold anymorethe curves of me miss the edges of you it’s in the way our.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2088888/ i feel like i’m f*****g it all uphe says that he’s falling in love with meand i am, tooso how do i tell him that i don’t know how to do this?that the scars that mar my skinand the nightmares that keep me awake at night and the anxiety that cripples any sense of normalcy.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2083689/ today he told me i’m fearlessi laughed and said i wasn’t it’s just that being herei feel so freelike i don’t need anyone and my happiness is my ownit’s an amazing feeling, like nothing can touch mei drive home from work with the windows rolled downshake my.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2083688/ i feel crazyi feel manic and stressed and wide-eyed with panicthe thoughts are flooding through my mind so quickly i can’t reach out to grasp even a single oneit is nearly 2 in the morning and sleepis more of a threat than a relief i know if i close my eyes the nightmares will come .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2079349/ when I look at you, I see the stars in your eyesIt is like you hung the moon just for meand the sun rises because you know I love its warmth http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2074552/ you said you would always be thereand you weren’t there at allso when he doesn’t call, or when he isn’t there to kiss my tears away and hold me while i cryor when he just can’t seem to find the timeit hurts me so much more than it shouldbecause you weren’t the.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2073935/ at homethere is a little silver bladewith my name on itand I don't know if I'm strong enough to say nonot this time http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2073926/ nine daystwo hundred sixteen hourstwelve thousand, nine hundred sixty minutesseventy seven thousand, seven hundred sixty secondsin that amount of timeit will be the two year anniversary of your death.you should have turned nineteen last monthanother year that I grow older and your birthday has passe.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2073919/ sometimes, my heart is wholeI am more in love than I have ever beenhe makes my cheeks hurt from smiling and laughter flows so easilyhe thinks I'm the most gorgeous girl he has ever seenbut sometimes, in the middle of the nightmy heart is hollowand I go back to that place when I was sixteen and .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2073918/ mlast time we kissedyour tongue tasted like tequilaand my lips stung with the bitterness of limeI was drunk on liquordizzy and breathless from the warmth in my veinsreveling in the feeling of your fingertips  http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2073048/ we used to speak the same languageour mouths told stories to each otherwhispered lovely secrets between our lips and shared breath as we kissed, slowly, softlybut now those things have fallen out of our vernacular instead of sweet hellos and long goodbyeswe exchange short, angry wordsI don.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2070323/ I am a catastrophe a hurricane waiting to happenI don't want him caught in the danger zone.  http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2070322/ when you answered the phonemy voice broke on the word helloI couldn't even catch my breath between the sobsI begged to see you one more time before you leavethe funny thing is, I knew you were going to break my heartbut I didn't think it would be like this http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2070229/ today was awfulwe sat there, staring into space, unable to make eye contactyou reached for my hand and I told you not to touch mewe were strangers I couldn't even look you in the eye to tell you the truth you had to hearI thought to myself that I couldn't believe the end of uswasn't a beautiful.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2069026/ the you i was missing missed me back all along and even though i miss you still, it is because i can’t get enough of youi’m addicted to the taste of your lips on mine the feel of our hands intertwined and the way our bodies fit like jigsaw piecesthe you i thought i could only l.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2068360/ I have never loved anyone the way that I love youit's wonderfully terrifyinginescapable and all-consumingyou and I are the sun and the starscolliding in an burst of cinders and lightmy heart is no longer something I call minethings that I always loved are now twice as lovelythe taste of sugar s.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2066572/ you and I are beautiful chaos. we are kissing at stoplights and roaming past midnightwe are four-hour phone conversations and making-me-late-to-class visitswe are just because and why the hell notwe are stupid jokes and holding hands and hickey marksbut we are also volatile. we are late-ni.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2066196/ i like to think that i’m mature. i am eighteen. starting college, curious and adventurous and excited for my newfound independence. i do my own grocery shopping, laundry, and wash my own dishes. i’m even dating a man now, many years older than me with a life of his own that terri.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2065405/ last night i had a dream and a nightmare i don’t recall the details, because the second my eyes locked on you everything else disappeared i remember the striking scenario before me you, standing tall and strong leaning against a beat-up blue pick up truck, the.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2065146/ when I am with you,the world is a different place. I don't smile for anyone like I smile for you.the dimples on my cheeks are joy incarnate, that grin that you love blooming across my lips like the roses you bought me that day.you and I are sunshine holding hands as we stroll acr.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2062680/ I have always been a bookworm.since as long as I learned to read, my nose has been buried between the pages of a book.I used to beg my father to take me to the library during the summertime, checking out five or six books at a time, and consuming their storiesunder the shade of an oak tree.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2062398/ I cannot remember who I amI feel like ghost of a personthe shadow of who I once wasthe smile that I used to wearlike my favorite accessorysits high on a shelf, collecting dustthe eyes that shone with hopeare dull and sad with despairmy nerves are frayed and my mind is a roaring hurricane of emo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2054370/ sometimes I think about who I used to be a collection of broken piecesnumbers on a scale, dropping lowerspace between my thighs, growing biggerribs distended underneath my flat chestcollarbones protruding from a sallow-skinned bodylips that tinged blue in sixty degree weatherhands with a perman.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2050591/ i was fourteen when I first realized my impact on this worldmy music teacher told me that I was one of his favorite studentsbecause every day that I walked into his classroom i couldn't help but offer him a grinhe said he loved my smile, it was like sunshine on a rainy dayI didn't tell him that.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2050584/ i don't know if it's a flaw in my genetic makeupbut there is a chaos in my heartthat rages so loudly, i cannot silence itand a brokenness in some part of my mindthat time simply cannot healand some daysit feels like there are so many cracksin the foundation of my beingthat i cannot hold myself toget.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2047315/ "wish you were here!" he saysand my heart breaks a thousand timesbecause it is not that i am so spiteful that i don't want to spend time with my familyit is that they do not really want me thereshe does not want me there. i would go if it were not for the petty jabs that i know she wi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2047308/ it's such an intimate thing, telling someone you miss them. i've always said it without abandonbecause i feel so deeply and i fall so quickly. i don't know about you,but for me falling into a friendship with you was like puzzle pieces clicking into place. you're the qui.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2047042/ i have terrible taste in men.my friends never fail to give me hell for the losers I date,and it’s true.I never seem to pick the right onesand I think that’s because I don’t know the meaning of a good manwhat is a good man?two generations of men that abuse the women they.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2041724/ pain is like the oceansometimes the waves crest when you’re not ready so instead of riding the swell,you get slammed by a white wall of painso much of it that you can’t find air to fill your lungssuddenly you're asphyxiatingbut sometimes pain comes in soft, low tides&n.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/2041723/ coffee-colored eyes,a smile like golden sunshine,a laugh like windchimes.she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.  http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/1965169/ she was an enigma.a puzzle with millions of beautiful piecesthat he wanted to spend the rest of his life putting together.  http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/1965168/ when things get hard, celebrate small victorieslike you've already won the war.  http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/1965167/ your words incense meto the point that i cannot withhold my rage.i refuse to stand there and be beaten down.i will fight back with everything that i have.and even though i may have lost the battle,this war is one that i cannot surrender. you may be strong, but i am fierce, and pa.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/1965163/ today is your birthday. 18 came, and went, and you are still a year younger. it's strange, sometimes i forget to think of you.I no longer wish for you on eyelashes and dandelionsor look for you in crowded hallways.i am not the same sixteen year old girl i was 10 months ago.but if she were .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/1965160/ once upon a time, i said your arms felt like homeand the kisses on my neck felt like lovebut physical affection did not fix thingsyou could never replace the gaping holethat he left in my hearti'm sorry that i lied to you. you could never be my homenot when my heart had already found its placef.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/1965158/ you kissed me with lips so soft and sweetbut when my mouth parted against yoursI breathed poison into your lungsand as the light escaped your eyesyou realized that the rose you once thought prettyhad thorns after all http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/1965155/ how do you breathe when grief wraps its icy fingers around your throat and steals the breath from your lungshow do you think when the thoughts collide and you are out of your mind how do you live when the heart that should beat has been buried alongside a dead.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/1880173/ if i am the sun you are the moon and he is the stars that separate us but there are so many of them that I can't help but loveand there is only one of you http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/1878168/ and she smiledbut it didn’t look right on her facebecause it was the kind of smile that belongedon the face of a dead personit was hollowand if you looked closelyyou could see that it was cracking on the edgessplitting at the seamsand one day everything would all come crumbl.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/christinap21/1877735/