http://slow.writerscafe.org/AgonizingClarity The original writings of author Agonizing Clarity en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776033870 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 After managing to swallow a few bites of Marconi and cheesethe warm, gooey masssliding down the hollow of my throatI inwardly cringe,the critic in my mind screaming.422 calories, 22 grams of fat!I look towards Hannah,the staff chosen to overlook my progressand I ask to wash my hands.Not wa.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2058796/ Life sprouts from her fingertipsHer hands as rakes, she tills the drybarren ground and creates rather than destroysDry soil becomes newblack moist fertile and seeds that lay dormantfor decadesplanted and they push through blacknessabsorbing nutrients on their questfor lifeHer fin.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2052138/ Gambling everything I have... All I am http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2050472/ I cannot do what I do besthere.I cannot copein destructive ways,I cannot copeperiod.All I feel is sadness and angersadness at the pastand anger at the futureand during the presentnumbness.I cannot drownmy memories with a bottleI cannot slash and slash my wristsuntil all I see is redand the rage.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2048643/ Yelling. So much yelling.I stir from my sleep, and discern the voicesof a woman telling him to leavethe shouts get louder.Banging on the wall.I get up and walk into the sceneI watch in disbeliefas a grown manslams his pregnant girlfriendinto the deskdriving her deeperinto the floorhis heavy hands me.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2046477/ After running away and finding a home with my old foster sisterwho I had lost contact years agoI thoughtIts okay if you weren't here for four yearsYou're herenow.But things went southevery time I tried to help everything backfiredstarting with tearful apologies on my behalfand ending withher sh.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2046471/ Loving one who doesn't http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2041779/ The price is never high enough http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2041751/ When you kiss a girlwho has traumadon't pull her against youpreventing her escapedon't join your mouth with hersbordering on violentthe blanket over your headsuffocatingdon't grope her body roughlyshe make begin to shakeand you probably think it's from enjoymentit's not.Don't grab her tighter when s.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2040778/ I never fully realizedthe toll self-harm one takeson a person's bodyhow their body is fighting against it's heartmending the wounds closedwhile the mind and heart wants nothing butto leave them open and bleed outI came online today to finda short messagenot bothering to explain whyhe attempted .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2039552/ You used to walk on the right sideof the street.Putting your body on the opposite side of mineyou attempted to shield me from stray bulletsfrom speeding cars along the way.If we were walking outside in the darkyou'd take my handand pull me closebecause it was common in our neighborhoodfor girls to b.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2038498/ She was poetry, but he couldn't read;Just as he was braille, but she couldn't feel. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2037077/ Hurt and confusion swells up inside methe tide of painswelling and shrinking against the beachof my heart.The waters are black.The footprints you leftare slowly being washed awayas I pick up what little prideI had left.Your affection had tricked methose delicate words of yoursthe sparkle in your smi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2037075/ I can't even find refuge in my sleepI am plagued by nightmares each one more terrifying than the lastMy first dream was prisonmy second was being chased by zombiesand everyone around me was dyingand I couldn't diewhy couldn't I die?!I remember onceduring one of my episodesI self harmed pretty.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2034912/ Words. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2033034/ You decide.You cradle my tiny life in your massive handsYou decide where I get to sleepEatgo to school.You decide if I live my life between metal detectors and barsor inside the walls of a too-small housethat never truly meets the expectations of a homea cheap, rotting apartment that smells lik.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2032744/ A not so depressing and startling poem. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2032733/ Those eyes they shine so brightglistening in the darkThat heart of yours, so filled with fightthat mind inside, so deep, so stark.The trouble is, your destructive intentionstowards yourself, and those all affectedYou're dancing a wild tango with deathand kiss his lips with a final breathSwallow the .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2032184/ Sometimes, I have totell myselfI am okay.It's usually around three in the morningwhen anxiety decides to take holdof my heart and make it beat irregularlyThey say it's from AnorexiaI say No, it's from all of the hurt, doctorBecause the bruises and marks she left faded but never disappearedand t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2030931/ She wanted to be smallerto take upless space.Perhaps then, you would've had stayed.She went from smiling eyes and chubby thighsto a tiny little thingso smallI could hold her on the edge of my tea cup.She hated herself.You made her feel small with those words of yoursand still she loved youor, a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2030925/ Some of my habits reflecta darker me.Walking past the department isle In HEBI start acting on impulseand I grab 3 packs of blades10 in each.I grab a lot so in case they are takenI always have more.Just in case.Or, when I look downat a plate of foodA voice in my head starts calculatingI don't kn.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2030432/ Yeah.I said I was just playing butthe hurt in my voicewas real. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2030429/ Collateral Pain http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2025915/ Confessions of Clarity. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2024914/ I sold my time, and trust, and loveso I could get the parts I neededto repair my broken heart.But when I got to the store, the cashierkindly shook her head and said"Sorry, it's not enough." http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2024911/ Clarity for the masses. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2024909/ When they said you were bad for meI ignored themcovering the bruises withcheap makeuppretending it was just a phaseand nowhere I am.You made me feel goodyou're words filled me up, so much,I'm afraid.I'm afraid that when you do realizewhat a waste I am,you'll leave.And I'll be more empty than before... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2024904/ Agonizing Clarity. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/AgonizingClarity/2024903/