http://slow.writerscafe.org/kyotickix The original writings of author Lori Mack en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776051778 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15  When i rise each day,I neatly stuff my pillows with relentless nightmares.They remind me of my lonely childhood.Gently I tuck my longing to belong under my heavy blankets of dwindling hope.Chameleon tendencies shelter me from ridicule.The masks I wear match my atmosphere.The masquerade must go.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/3123128/ If only we could switch places for a week.Then you could feel how loved you truly are.And I could understand you more clearly.You would see how valuable your presence is.I would find the wisdom to help you heal.You'd understand a mother's heart.I'd understand your depression and pain.If only we coul.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/3057139/ I fought so hard. I wrestled my demons. I battled my fears, calmed my insecurities, silenced my doubts and became who I always desired to be. I became me. I tore down brick walls covered with thorns and razor sharp bar wire. I felt raw emotions for the first time without consequences. I discovered t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2963200/ I'm overwhelmed with this sense of hopelessness.How could my own children exclude me from their lives?Am I really that bad,To be tossed to the side and forgotten?I have three handsome sons.Only one talks to me.If I want to see my other boys,I have to look on Facebook.I know I made a .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2928814/ I have to mindfuck myself To get myselfTo mind myself.After all mom and dad knew what they were doing. L. Mack 5/17/24 http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2889700/ Stop it! Don't ever give hope where there is none. It is the cruelest thing you could ever do to another human being.Hope is a wonderful thing.But only if what your hoping for happens.When it doesn't happen, And you hoped and believed it would,It will be one of the most devastating blo.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2889487/ I want to thank you for raising me.I know you could have pushed me to the side,And did things like all the other kids did. I want to thank you for practicing wrestling moves on me.It taught me how to defend myself. That's why the streets didn't conquer me.I want to thank you stepping.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2883303/ I found the solution.If I don't have anythingthen no one can take from me.if I possess nothingthen no one can ruin what I have.If I stop helping othersthen no one can take advantage of me.If I stop caring then no one can hurt me.L. Mack 2/28/2024 http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2881536/ Damn, here we go again...I know this all too well. I don't want to do this.I can't watch you destroy yourself again.I'm trapped in this bitter hell,This unforgiving prison.With no hope of being set free.These are your choices,But we both pay the consequences.This cross is to much .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2878702/ What if i treated you the same way you have treated me? What would you do?What if i spoon fed you the same hate you fed me for 8 months? Would your heart fill with rage against me?What if i made up stories about you smearing your good name? Would your peers still accept you?What if.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2858298/ I called you brother.That's a word I don't take lightly.My real brother died.He had always been my hero.When I had nightmares as a child,It was him I ran to.My parents barely acknowledged me.They were busy,working continuously.They did the best they could.I came late in their liv.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2834038/ What a honor and privilegeIt must be to belong.Whether it is to belong somewhereOr belong to someone.It must make a person feel complete.I'm still seeking my missing puzzle piece."Belong" is the piece that I seek.I used to think I was incompleteCause I didn't have my other half.Bu.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2833053/ Soon I'll have no one.Don't be sad for me.It's the season I'm in. My children are grown. My only grandchild lives far away.I have chose to be single.Love was never in the cards for me.Don't be sad for me.It's the season I'm in. You will be here too one day.This is a part of life... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2830775/ Dramatic?You think I'm being dramatic?You, the one who cried and screamed in my arms, While your whole world crumbled to the ground.Pleading with God to take your agony away.Only to watch you run back to the demon that warped you.You think I'm being dramatic?You, the one that keeps r.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2830549/ When I come up,my friends feel the love.when my friends come up,they forget I exist.Lori Mack10/6/2022 http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2830466/ This overbearing weight, It's inhumane most times.To carry on these tattered and bruised shoulders. I feel the world gain it's healthy weight,As time slips and withers mine away.. Lori Mack 9/26/2022 http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2829439/ Now that everything is gone.Now that I have nothing left.Now that I've been damaged.Now that i feel defeated.Now that I finally gave up. Now that I have no where to go.Now after you made sure I had nothing.Now that you made sure I had no one.Now after you have destroyed everything I .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2829313/ What if this is just me?What if this is just who I am?What if this is who I will always be?What if I'm never going to fit into life's little box?What if I'm happier this way?What if this is what makes me feel free?What if Im sane, kind and wise this way? What if I feel like I don't hav.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2829067/ I'm just a mean b***h.These streets raised me.Out there you have to have a vicious bark.Sometimes you just have to let them think your wild and crazy.And you better know how to throw a hard punch.It's wise to always have a weapon.I preferred ball ping hammers and hay hooks... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2823952/ I need to know. I deserve to know. It's made me insane, All these years to not know why.48 long, drawn out, unbearable years entirely alone. Anyone that stayed in my life stayed to rob me or ruin me.Why does everyone deserve someone but me?Everyone has someone. Someone they can trust.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2822400/ A mistake, a burden, disposable, ostracized. I felt the hate of my existence. The glares burned my skin. The gossip filled whispers, Became my dark smothering shadows And they echoed in the drafty hallway of my lonely mind. I didn't ask to be conceived. It's not my fault.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2822380/ EricYesterday I was looking through my contacts And I saw your name. I immediately close it. I didnt want to be reminded of the pain.Yesterday I was looking through my photos And there you were.I immediately closed it.I didn't want to cry again.Today I was looking through my cont.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2814231/ Friend, It's just not gonna be the same without you. So many of us are broken over losing you. I bet your dog never stops searching for you. I'm sure your daughter will always fill empty without you. My son will grieve you for along time. He thought the world of you. Your friends... Well we are no.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2807216/ I'm confused, baffled, unsettled. I am shamed for just existing. Most of my life Ive been treated this way. Yet I take another breath. I'm a child again, begging someone to give a f**k. Rejection, abandonment, dirty lil secret was my burden and cross to carry. Always has been. I don't under.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2802182/ I'm not a blessing I'm a curse. I'm not a good person. I'm a drug dealer. I supply you with the poison that numbs you and keeps you from your family. I'm not a blessing im a curse. I divides families and I feed on your fears. I crave to control you all in the most sadistic ways. I'm not a blessing I.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2800643/ How could he do this to me?!?Out the door picked up a chair threw it,I'm so f*****g hurt!Kicked the garage door the walls shook.How can I mean so little?!?!I scream at the top of my lungs"I f*****g hate you heroin!!If you were a man I'd kill you!!Let go of my son heroin!!"But I kno.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2790308/ I'm trying,But this feels way to familiar.My demons must of found me .I'm trying,But I'm exhausted,Physically, mentally and emotionally.I'm trying,To figure a way out.So I don't have to go back to this.I'm trying,Yet most have turned against me,Even my own son.I'm trying,I .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2788197/ Okay here we go, let us speak about the white elephants in the game of life.Pay close attention to what I have to say to you tonight, it may relate to you.Do you ever feel picked on, maybe teased or a sense of self worthlessness for no reason at all? Me, too!Have you ever wondered what w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2786854/ Dear friend, Life has given you quite the beating lately. I know your strong. But your human. I know you feel like you have to be invincible. But you don't and you aren't. I just wanted to let you know that in this crazy, busy, lonely world filled with greed, narcissism and pain I still see you. .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2785399/ Seed You planted a seed of hate in my heart. But I am the one who nurtured it. L. Mack 8/4/2021 http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2783536/ Most of the time,There's a wrestling match inside of me."Come one and all, Watch this historical event,Time to put your bets in.Will the untamed, crazy, black sheep Scary Larry win?Or will the indecisive, shy, awkward Lori Mack win?Who knows but it's guaranteed to be an eventful show... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2769667/ We hustle, fix, buy, comfort, lead, entertain, and tolerate whatever this wicked life requires of our forgotten battered souls while it's loins filled with lustful greed and it's plump hungry swollen belly let's out a piercing whine demand more more more. "Give me more pain, more anguish, more drama.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2769666/ Just for a moment My son sleeps peacefully.I see my sweet heroic lil boy. He used to have so much love for me.Just for a momentI feel whole again and can breath.Letting myself drift to happier days.I was so proud to call him my son.Just for a momentIm happy, content and filled with.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2761184/ It means that I am no longer loved by that person, Only hated no matter how hard I try. I am not even thought of at all by that person. And that I am expected to take care of everything, Without any help not even a thank you.It means if I defend myself in anywayI will always be wrong,I.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2759997/ Son, Through my endless tears I watched my tired heart shatter into millions of dusty pieces filled with sorrow, worry, regret, broken dreams and heartache. I sit here overwhelmed with grief thinking of the next two years and what you will have to endure. Deep in my soul I feel my bitter screams o.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2109173/ My son goes to prison in 5 days... everyone sees the man who steals and uses heroin... I see the sweet, gentle, loving boy I raised. When I visit him in jail, behind the glass is not that man you see. To me it's that 10 year old boy who sang "beautiful" by eminem to me when I was having a bad day. I.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2092872/ Dedicated to my son Brandon Mustagog. Happy 22nd birthday son I love you. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2068512/ Miss Conceal I do everything not to feel.This weight is way too real.Too much I can't reveal. Just call me Miss Conceal.You may have seen me sitting quietly,Or you may have seen me flash violently.Most times I'm kind, soft spoken and sweet.Others I'm searching for someone to defe.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062808/ My first love. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062802/ My struggle with addiction. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062801/ JadedA bit jaded.Somewhat faded.Over concentrated.Not exaggerated.Simply created.Under stimulated.Mostly discriminated.Never validated.Often manipulated.Frequently evaluated,And desacrated.Extremely frustrated.Been incarcerated.No one vindicated.Only fictionated.A l.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062800/ Hi God, it's me...Hello?Is anyone out there?Can You hear me?God, creator to all,Please respond to me.Where are You?Who are You?How do You make your decisions?Lord,I’m really trying to understand You.But I find You to be quite complex.I need some knowledge of Your ways.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062784/ Never be the sameYou will never be the same.As this life drags slowly by,It takes all the hostages.Never showing any mercy.Deeply digging it’s claws into our souls.Perishing our loved ones.Leaving us hollowed and empty.Suffocating the dreams away.Scarred, left behind by it&.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062783/ Naked Silence...People don’t think much of me these days,'Cause I’m always depressed, lost and broken.They make me feel unworthy and pathetic.'Cause I can’t get myself together.They choose to think without love.Saying that this is how I wanna be.Come on Bra,,,Who .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062782/ Still...To be still with myself.This i avoid.It's uncomfortable just yet,To be still with myself.Too many thoughts in my head,For me to untwist and untangle.Too many memories.I dont want to live over again.Too many heartaches unfed.Too many failures and mistakes,That can ne.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062781/ UndefeatedBattles on,Come on bring it.Fear I will not,My God is undefeated.Evil surrounds me,When I am weakest.Satan yells "You'll never make it!Misfit you are mine!No doubt about it!Your gonna fail,Why even try?"I tune him out,No I won't listen.I hear a gentle whisper.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062780/ A conversation between my son and I. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062778/ About my son's addiction. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062777/ About my son's addiction. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062774/ Bravo!Wow, bravo!Look at you go.You put on a good show.It was quite convincing my dear.You could make millions,With an acting career.So did you have fun?Did you get your kicks?What was the meaning behind all of this?Did you have a plan?Just screw with my life,Mess with my.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/kyotickix/2062773/