http://slow.writerscafe.org/Alexisalllove The original writings of author johnnyqueer en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1776064839 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 A chosen final resting home http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/2775449/ A quick exploration into my obsession with the past, and trying to let it go, as I grow. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/2772751/ Sprinkle the sound on a spoon,Ignite until it's form is liquid. Veins open and ready for the sound,To crawl inside and turn me off. And the beat blackens my eyes,And the beat turns me off. Compress the noise into a tablet,Swallow and chase with liquor.Skin tingles when you're ins.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1804366/ He's got murder on his mind,Ashing his cigarette.He's got hatred on his lips,Blowing rings skyward. I just admire him from afar,I put his rings in my pocket. He's got the breeze on his face,Tossing his hair haphazardly.He's got the sun in his eyes,Two amber crystals glistening... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1791401/ Sensation returned to limbs I made numb,Supply rushing in to nurture the ligatures. Anxiety builds like a Lincoln log tower,Casually waiting for the inevitable crash;I'll spill the gasoline, and I'll light the match. Heart racing to gain pace with my mind,Urging for assistance but quic.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1789829/ My heart goes out to all those affected by the awful tragedy in Orlando. Hatred is so destructive. Spread love. Be kind. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1788299/ Waiting for light to peak through the blinds,For some reason it just brings me peace of mind. A miniscule victory of another evening defeated,Which sounds strange, but it's exhausting. To fight through thoughts and toss around,Just waiting for a massive orange globe;To break that dark mi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1783872/ Turning 25 http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1773948/ Lie here heavy breathing with me,A net of desire to burn away in. Eyes closed but I see everything,The way you bite that bottom lip.Smiling down when my breath leaps,Escaping the soft cavity inside me.Lie here heavy breathing with me,Caught in the sparkle of your eyes.Positions switching like a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1156979/ Phantom returns and I'm growing numb,Yet feeling enough spark to still hold on.This iron grows thicker each of the seasons,Heavy heart weighing down my desires. You must remember that I do have a past,One that haunts when my mind reminds me.To add you to this growing strange crisis,Would be imm.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1155906/ Inspiration can be found in the oddest ways. Standing before giant trees spitting leaves, I never felt more alive. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1067814/ Pondering the night sky, I wonder how long this time...Will you come back crawling, or standing so very tall?Should I branch out my arms in embrace, or just watch,Listening to your apology slither it's way into my heart?I don't think I can do this again, my sweet destroyer.Exhaustion has taken the w.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1029245/ Humans have a grotesque fear of what they don't understand, until it becomes a trend. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1020870/ I've surrendered a thousand times,I'm back down on my knees again.I'm exhausted from waiting for you,My most gorgeous phantom man.Remove your mask for me,We have left the masquerade.Clothing to descend at last,I'm ready for my bliss again.Quiver as I enter your being,Trace my fingers up your spine.P.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1017104/ Can't I just press rewind?This must all be a joke...Perhaps a nasty dream?Pretty please pinch me?The familiar tingles like peppermint, It's just a little dose of pain again. Depression crashes against me,I am absolutely awake. Sometimes I laugh when I'm overwhelmed,Then I fully lose it and burst int.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/1001035/       The sun dazzled down upon their secret pond, where they skipped rocks and spoke of their interpretations of life. Tiny ripples crawled towards the bank, brushing up against the pink lily flowers. They lied down hands touching, but only in their aura's. Brown eyes.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/999138/ Lily pad ocean circle disks,Black pits sit centered.Connected so deeply,I don't want to blink. I don't want to breathe,Until you're here with me.I will love you til the oceans dry,I would wait til the very end...Just to hold you in my arms,Whilst awaiting the end. Sapphire ovals swell and descend,St.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/995938/ Darling would you fall with me...Soar into evermore with me?Return back to the start with me,If ever given that chance again?Will you be like tape and stick with me,Return years prior and play with me?Darling I would fall with you,Soar into evermore with you.Return back to the start with you,If ever.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/994543/ Hands shake as I speak,I'm sorry I changed...I'm just trying to cope,Trying to learn to liveWithout drowning again.I'm feeling kind of sick,I need a glass of water...Scry back in remembrance,I've lost myself.I've lost everything.If I could have your loveIndefinitely my fear would die.Lust is destruc.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/994004/ Simple times seem to cease in my mind, I try to go back and visit them all the time.I have nothing left to fall back on,Everything has been gone for a while. I too have been gone for a while,Searching for something familiar. Years are being thrown at me likeBlack Jack hands, I'm at twenty oneAnd I'd.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/993087/ Throat croaks dry when I breathe out,No moisture to soothe my cracked lips. I concentrate on the aura swirlingAround the warm air and sweet smellOf the aroma doused on your skin. Imagination highjacks my thinking. Wrists go limp when I reach to grabYour shoulder gently in hopes ofExchanging some sor.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/991381/ Consumption of noises that build highLike children and their towers made ofSmall wooden logs piled and crownedWith a damsel awaiting a savior man. My limbs extend like tree branchesSearching somewhere for sunlight toIntertwine its fingers with my hand. The mind goes mad while waiting. Regurgitation .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/989544/ The acid is eating away at the blocksI placed between emotions and my abilityTo release the moisture creeping. I breathe through my nose and hopeFor a second wind in all the strengthI've been using just trying to be "okay". I've held myself so far behind in hopesFor some healing from all the damage .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/988369/ Rated x. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/985895/ I'm trying to compile my feelings back into organization, butLife keeps tossing pages in my direction and I'm picking them up. Give me a little slack here, you can't possibly understand how Deep beneath the blue I've been, to be honest still am. I'm playing a game of charades with myself,Smiling and.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/985254/ I've found you time and again, awaitingYou to come forth and crash into me. Time takes you places far away,Never in distance; Just decisions. Faith grows dimmer each and every time.Sometimes I laugh to myself and thinkWhat the hell is he thinking, or sometimesI wonder... Is he thinking about me.I th.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/984295/ It's been a while since these feelings invaded,I've pushed myself so deep into bitterness. My emotions are full from feeding on the past. I have to allow myself release so I can grow again,Fear needs to evaporate into fresh thinking. Perhaps I'll allow my walls to crumble, andOpen my arms to someone.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/981831/ Sometimes my own vice fails meAnd I'm left teary eyed, alone...Alone, yet surrounded by people,People I have always known. I realize my strength when I'm weak,But forget how to muster it all together. Sometimes I fall in hopes of somehowBeing saved by a some super human...My guard is so slow to rise.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/980830/ I felt nothing upon standing above you...If that's even where they put you.Closure seems to have fled the scene, Leaving me to obsess over your peace.I wish you could just absolve back to me,Pretend your premature ending was a dream. I wish I had known that you were fading, I would have done everyth.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/980060/ Clutching your ticket tightly,Soon you'll be in the sky...I viciously wonder,How long this time?Like the sun you rise,Then leave in silence.Leaving me to wonder...How long this time?This cycle is repetitive,Always almost the same...I'm left in the dust,but for how long this time?I refuse to be caugh.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/979155/ I'll beckon the flames to rise again,Brush off the dust that infests. Temperature growing with my breathing,I want every spec of darkness within. Show me the being you hide inside,Sadistic and thirsty for pleasure pleading. Destroy the rage inside my soul,Dissect what's left for you to soil.I'll bow.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/977592/ I could have had it all,I almost conquered my world.I tasted perfection quickly,Before it schemed and bit me. Everything shatters at the drop of a glass,I fall to hands and knees picking up the pieces. Warm rouge pools beneath my position,I'm more precise while picking out the pieces. I could have b.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/975263/ I couldn't fight my thoughts of you, My head pounded in retaliation... Perhaps it was just a lapse in strength,My mental blocks quick dysfunction. I swallow the acid that starts to burnEach time I accidentally think of you.How long until this ghost will fade?I'm trying to forgive, and forget,And liv.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/974971/ Glass pane glances back at me,Precise lines grace porcelain paint. Eyes close as I release and exhale,One step closer to bizarre. Brush and blend until polished,Search the canvas for imperfections.The reflective glass reminds me...Flawed is all I'll ever be.Jagged words never penetrate,My skin is to.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/974763/ I crave the sensation of falling beneathThe crystal blue water crashing, angryIn its attempts to consume everything. Longing for the arms to push me furtherBeneath the light the horizon offers,I manifest in darkness. I search every crevice in this worldFor some sort of escape, secretly Wishing that .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/971310/ The music was playing some Spanish number, I turned whilst dancing and saw your face...My breath escaped the black lungs within me,I sucked in air and tried to say hello. You were smiling and coming closer,I would have ran if my legs had let me. Your words were masked by music,I asked you to take it.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/971163/ This is not based on physical self harm. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/967401/ I fell in love with the crashing sensation,The loss of control adds to my obsession.It’s not my fault that I had to surrender,The push and pull forced me way under. Bubbles form like broken memories,Breathing deeply right back within me.Etching pleads deep within the sand,A savior?… Som.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/966999/ Slipping back down the slope,The dark days are returning. Knees cascade on glass shards,Nails in my palms, prayer position. Our father, who art in heaven...I choke violently in laughter. Hysterics are not foreign to me, I've been shaking badly for years...I blame it on whatever fitsAnd continue livi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/965984/ Sometimes I venture back and bask in your warmth,You had an incredible power to dissolve my anguish. Love pulsated from your being naturally like a river, I tried to mimic your ways but found myself drowning. I wish that the world hadn't been so damn selfish,You were taken long before I was ready to.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/965518/ I want to pour my past over ice,Drink the pain and dance in bliss. An overdose would be expected,But at least I was okay for a while. If resuscitation was offered I'd reject,Find peace within the quiet under ground. Dream that my life ended as I wished,An old man drinking scotch by the sea. Instead .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/962630/ I'm becoming vulnerable again,The feeling is slowly returning.Fear envelopes my soul again,I don't want to repeat the past. Can I not live in solitude,Or fall in love with lonesome? I can coexist with my demons, orpreferably forget them altogether. I don't mind holding my breath,I'd rather turn blue.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/962421/ I could construct an airplane from paperTo carry my thoughts way up skyward,Would you listen to me if I was screaming?Would you care if my tears fell like raindrops?I could construct a boat from plasticTo carry my dreams down the drain,Would you catch me if my faith failed?Would you care if I lost a.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/955893/ All will be lost whether I choose to focus or not,Scrutiny only brings forth malignant particles...I'll just blink and pretend that I don't notice.Playing pretend can't possibly hurt me,At least not as much as reality will. I'm slowly losing my motive to wake up,In my dreams everything works ou.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/951826/ It's just my mattress and I again,Just tossing and turning again.I'm pleading my mind go mute,I'm ignored like most nights. I'm searching for solutions,Digging into all that hurts me.I'll smile way too big and pretendThat the night doesn't haunt me. The moisture collecting nauseates me,I t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/951343/ I can feel my world dividing,I fear the human I'm becoming. I glow in angers embers,I grow beneath scrutiny. All the sings scream danger,I'm just too tired to care. I'm lost in my curiosity,What lies beyond humanity?I can feel my world dividing,I hope soon for an ending. I desire something bearable,.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/950356/ I'd like to think of myself as a diamond,But I'm quickly finding I am only ice. I'm trying to make sense of it all,The disasters that created me. I'm falling beneath all the cool shades,Drowning in my attempts to breathe. I'm shivering despite the sun beams, Loneliness can be hard to endure.Is this .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/949852/ I am both the calm and the storm,A force never worth being tried. I can easily break everything, And still bear a smile before sleep. I can bring forth the sun,Or wrap the world in darkness.I could dry your tears,Or tear at your stitches. I can fall deeply into love,Or bask in the beauty of hate.I c.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/949427/ I'm becoming so detached, Unafraid of my solitude.I'm finally thinking clearly,No fog to dilute honesty.Words will be my downfall,My truth brings discomfort. My transformation is complete,I can finally abort the cocoon.My soul is drained and vacant,The noise is finally gone.Hands pound upon the vess.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/946028/ Sinful craving growing obnoxiously, Bring me poison, and passion, and pain. Break down the walls of normalcy,I need something more, so much more.Blood splattered adoration, And an orgasm to follow. Tear my flesh from muscle, Release the devil within you. Deep impressions grace my being,Rip me apart,.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/Alexisalllove/945558/