http://slow.writerscafe.org/sunsetpumpkins The original writings of author fern en-us Copyright 2026 WritersCafe.org 1775996399 WritersCafe.org RSS Generator 15 my blood, it should drip from me like poison. its burning, screaming to leave me. i deserve to bleed. i deserve to be in pain. to be abused. to be tossed aside like the worthless waste of space i am. i do not deserve to live. but i dont deserve the peace of death. i dont deserve anyt.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2899800/ i dont wanna eat breakfast. its extra calories i dont need. im already fat enough. "please eat." "im not hungry." "i dont believe you." i sigh and look into her beautiful brown eyes. i wanna kiss her. but nows really not the time. f**k. my. life. "fern?" i look up "sorry" i.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2898886/ today i went to pride. it was the best day of my life. i stood near the stage and danced to songs i didnt know. then isaac held my hand. and we danced together. and we kissed. twice. i was so happy. i am so happy. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2890743/ i got up. i went to school. i had a good day. i had my first girlfriend. then when i got home,i overdosed. i attempted suicide.i scared my friends to death. i cried more than i ever have before. i curled up on my bed and sobbed, not caring about anything.&nbsp.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2890742/ Today I ate three meals.Then I cried and threw up in my room.I don't know how to feel.Everything's going wrong.I don't want to eat food.But I know i should.I feel everything but good.I would do anything if I could.My body doesn't feel like mine.I feel so pathetic and weak.The.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2887989/ I used to think biting my nails was bad. Then I started cutting myself. Now I'm drinking. What if I become an addict? Oh. Maybe I already am. F**k. That's not good. I've been sober for three days. That's good. But I don't feel good. I'm starving myself again. Why did no one s.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2887331/ the cabinet in the kitchen has alcohol. yesterday i took shots. today i worked through my hangover with more. i didn't have lots.  i don't understand. i'm turning to alcohol. what's wrong with me? am i out of control? i watched friends.i laughed at everyt.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2886261/ Routine is the best you can't convince me otherwise don't judge me I'm autistic 💅🏻 http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2882787/ I sit in my bed. The light's off. I hug my knees. I haven't lost weight. I concentrate on the song. Not tonight. Please not tonight. Any night but tonight. But no. He's here.I see the figure in the corner on my room. No, no, no, please no, please not tonight.It approaches.T.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2882608/ My English teacher asked if I'm okay.Yes.Of course I'm okay. My mother asked if I'm okay. Yes. Why wouldn't I be okay?My best friend asked if I'm okay.Yes.I'm always okay :)I asked if I'm okay.I don't know.How could I ever know? http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2882607/ I like routine.I have routine.I have a tuna sandwich for lunch every day.I get up at 8:15 every day.I have a timetable.And I have rules.I have technology twice.Monday, woodwork.Thursday, computing. Sometimes Thursday is woodwork.It feels wrong.I'm not prepared for this.Someon.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880942/ I log off my computer.I pick up my bag."Bye."I open the door.I take a deep breath.I push past the first years."Yooo! It's Francie!"I ignore them.I keep close to the wall.I look down.I see more people.Why so many?I see the drama room.I wait outside.I keep my gaze down."C.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880900/ Teachers are paid to teach.Not care.Most don't.Most do the bare minimum.They teach, then they forget.They go home to their own families.But some.Some care.Some make an effort.They teach, and they remember.They think about students.They try to help.They don't make me think of .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880898/ I argue with my mother.She kicks my door.I open the box, hands shaking.I sit on my bedroom floor.I take my hoodie off.I look at my pale arm, covered in goosebumps.I grasp the blade, sobbing.I slide it across my skin.I feel relief.The blood starts.I feel regret.I feel shame.I .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880781/ My granddad killed himself before I was born.Sometimes he visits me.I can feel him, sitting with me.He was there on my worst night.He was there last night.Sometimes I talk to him.I tell him everything.I tell him I can't do it.I must follow his path.I say I'm trying.It's not enoug.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880778/ isn't really a poem but oh well http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880727/ i remember that day.the day she texted me a paragraph,saying what she hates about me. i replied good to know. she said stfu. i cried for hours. i trusted her. i told her my insecurities.she ruined my life.i remember that day.the day in drama,where she played with my hair.i i.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880718/ what is wrong with me?am i broken?am i dead inside?am i stupid?am i too obsessed with taylor swift? am i too annoying?am i too depressed?did he break my heart?does what they did count as trauma?the words they said keep going round and round my head.is that whats wrong with me?the overthinking?t.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880716/ I love her. I need her. I miss her. I adore her. I would do anything for her.I am alive for her. I tell her everything.She knows all my secrets. She isn't like the others. She cares about me. She needs me. She loves me.When I see her face I instantly cheer up. I would do an.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880708/ Yinthe is pretty.She says she isn't.She says I am.She says I'm the prettiest in the world.I tell her I'm not.She says I am.I write a paragraph saying how beautiful she is.She says she's crying.I feel bad.She begs me not to overdose.I say I'll try.She says she's fat.My eyes fi.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880685/ Girlhood is telling everyone you're related to the Queen.Girlhood is wearing glow stick necklaces.Girlhood is hiding sweets under your bed and eating them at 8 pm, telling everyone you had a midnight feast.Girlhood is planning a playdate a week in advance then not sleeping out of excitement... http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880684/ I was excited to turn 13.I was excited to call myself a teenager.I was excited to go to high school.I was excited to go to parties.I was excited to not be so sensitive.I was excited to not wear a horrible green uniform.I was excited to wear a tie.I was excited to meet new people.I wa.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880682/ At the end of the day,I can put on my pyjamas.I can sit on my bedroom floor.I can listen to music.I can vent to the pictures on my wall.I can write poetry.I can cry.I can hurt myself like I want to hurt others.I can rearrange my posters.I can be myself.I will never be judged. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880681/ I miss you.I miss your smile.I miss your lisp.I miss your horrible music taste.I miss your relationship with food.I miss your bedroom.I miss your friends.I miss your skinny body.I miss your over sharing.I miss your drunk personality.I miss your obsessions.I miss your clear skin.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880680/ Why me?Why do I have scars?Why me?Why was I bullied?Why me?Why can I never leave my room?Why me?Why can't I hide my tears anymore?Why me? Why am I autistic?Why me?Why can't I eat?Why me?Why can't I believe in God?Why me?Why do i still wake up?Why me?Why do my parent.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880679/ Amine.Such a beautiful name.Such a beautiful girl.She looks happy.She's not.I love her.I don't know why she loves me.She is pretty.She is funny. She is kind.She is selfless. She is smart.She is sweet.I am ugly.I am lame.I am selfish.I am stupid.I am horrible.She i.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880678/ Sometimes I'll be in bed.Sometimes I'll be arguing with my mother.Sometimes I'll be making food.Sometimes I'll be crying.Sometimes I'll be staring at the pills I keep by my bed.Sometimes I'll be getting flashbacks.Sometimes I'll be thinking about words that cut deeper than knives.Somet.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880677/ the night i sat on my bedroom floor shaking.the night the police came to my house.the night i cut deeper than ever before.the night my parents realised how bad it was.the night i return to every day.the night i am ashamed of.the night i cried.the night i almost died.the night i spilt blood on my bed.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880676/ im sorry i failed that test.im sorry i told that secret.im sorry i held that grudge.im sorry i told the teacher on you.im sorry i changed.but i am a child.i am mature,but i am still a child.and i am weak.and i am undeserving of my friends.and i am ashamed.so ashamed.ashamed of eating.ashamed of hurt.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880675/ to tayloryou saved my lifeyou gave me a reason to stay aliveyour fanbase saved meyou mothered meyou were my best friendi feel my excitement fadingi no longer burst with pride when i sayi am a swiftiei try to hold oni dont skip your songsi still know them allbut now im listening to more songs about s.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880674/ i almost overdosed last night.i wish i did.i wish i didnt wake up this morning.i wish i was dead.is that really too much to ask?im living for my friends.they say they'll take the same path as me.i dont want that.im a burden to my parents.im a burden to my teachers.im a burden to my friends.i try to .. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2880535/ i wanna die. lifes overrated.  http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2875513/ Despair.I wish it was that simple andCould fit into one word.Never simple.Despair,Is when you give up.I have given up.Given up.Despair.I don't know how to hide it.They will see.Never hidden.Despair,Is scary.It means point of no return.No return.That's where I am.It'.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2864816/ I'm okay. No, seriously. Oh. You're gone.I turn away from the mirror.I put foundation on to cover my scars.I wear hoodies in the middle of June.I make mistakes. So do you.When you hurt me, I hurt myself.My mistakes are smaller than yours yet so much bigger.Can't you just accept me for who I am and l.. http://slow.writerscafe.org/writing/sunsetpumpkins/2864693/