Comparable To The Beach

How relationships can change just like the tide

Comparable To The Beach 

Hand in hand this journey began on the heated beach

seven years known a trail behind no destination to reach 

company of sweet innocence, hair the colour of the sun

This beach reflects her beauty, I know she is the one

A message written in sand words so strong but few 

making my heart race viewing simply “I love you”

darkness soon descended a black cloth covers the words

falling asleep engulfed in a love awoken by the birds

7 years like in those 7 hours the tide began to change

the walk on the beach a distant memory love now estrange 

No second chance this love was washed like scripture on the beach 

Faded memories of this once fine day I never hear you preach

  

This love you swept away like crashing waves to our sand

7 years like in 7 hours wiped away unplanned     

Author's Note

I wrote this after looking through photos of me and my ex and remembered this moment

Reviews

[GamingGal]

Pros: Mmmm.....comparing the changing of things to the change of the tide is clever, my friend. Good rhyme scheme that doesn't feel forced and helps the poem flow rather nicely. Like the flow of water :) I like the story told, of happiness fading like words written in sand. It changes in the middle to a darker, sadder tone, which, although sad, fits and is enjoyable.

Cons: A couple grammar problems here and there, but nothing really.

Overall: A good poem of happiness fading to be replaced by lost. Good comparison :)

[shelbylugal]

company of sweet innocence (should there be a comma here?) hair the colour of the sun
I thought the first part was so sweet and aw! I've always wanted to see a message in the sand!
So sweet yet so sad. I enjoyed this poem so much

[Alexa Tasch]

nice poem. it is so sweet and the descriptions are great. It is also kind of sad.

[Cherrie]

great line..No second chance this love was washed like scripture on the beach
Faded memories of this once fine day I never hear you preach... a true snapshot
look at A Summers Swim

[A]

This is very touching and sad, love can be very painful but always leave the memory of the sweet feeling of love, good job!