Her Smile Finally Falls

Long sleeves, a fake smile.

And everybody thinks you're fine.

But here alone in a bathroom stall, 

With a razor and sleeping pills,

Every breath is a choice.

Tired of smiling, 

When you simply want to die.

Behind the smiles,

Is a life time worth of pain.

Of painful memories, the beatings.

Force away the tears,

Pretend to be strong.

The girl you see smile,

Is the girl that cries herself to sleep.

The invisible tears she cries,

Are the hardest to wipe.

Her eyes are damp,

She's like a barbie.

She has to smile

Her emotional scars she hides,

Behind a smile and laughter,

So nobody can know the real her.

She thinks it's time to say goodbye,

She finally lets her tears fall,

And her smile fades to let people know,

She has been strong enough.

Reviews

[Cool Girl]

I love this! Amazing job!

[1Disawsum]

thankyou so much! sorry for the late reply haha xxx your comment is very much appreciated xxx

[Cool Girl]

You're welcome!! :)

[Eve Ola]

you expressed so beautifully the feelings hidden behind her smile. Yeah each single girl is strong enough who know how to fight but though its very hard to go through. This piece reminds me of the time when i hide myself from everyone just to shed tears n feel bit relax. at times you cant bear it more...

[1Disawsum]

Thankyou, this character described me perfectly as well. We're all strong in our own ways, but it's the limit that separates us from everyone else. Yes, at times you can't, and that's where my next poem, Cutting and Cutting, comes in. Well, for me anyway. I couldn't bear it anymore ('it' referring to multiple things) and so I cut. Not to die, but to feel.

[Eve Ola]

Sad :( will wait for your next poem. stay blessed my dear

[1Disawsum]

aaw thanks! Cutting and Cutting was published yesterday, published a new one just then aha perfect timing!

[Eve Ola]

nice.let me see

[Eve Ola]

nice.let me see

[Mirra]

I think, if not all, most of us wear different masks to hide something. Not to fool or harm anyone but to show them that we're strong, that we can pass every challenge when deep inside bunch of tears and scorched marks are shed and drawn. I like the title especially the story of this poem. Excellent!

[1Disawsum]

Yes, we all do. We want to be seen as strong, brave and fearless, like we are heroes who can conquer the world etc. Except we're not, are we? Yes, the inside can reveal so much more than you sketch yourself on the outside. The inside of you are permanent, the outside, temporary, as easily as you have drawn yourself, as easy it is for someone to rip open you and see for themselves what's really on the inside.
Thankyou! :)

[Mirra]

Precisely. You're welcome :-)

[I Am Svetlana]

Such a powerful read, this one. It's difficult to find those who are struggling through each day, with their printed smiles. But we should be aware of those who have been through a lot in their life and that we shouldn't be too hard on them. Bullying is a perfect example of what leads a person to shatter like how the character did in this poem. Beautiful!

[1Disawsum]

Yes, I'll agree. It is quite near impossible to find the ones who are truly hurting, but put on a brave face in fear of things getting out of hand, or someone noticing etc. And presumably, that is one of humanity's worst inventions. The ability to hide, and be so good at it. Yes, bullying and domestic abuse, one of the easiest and most self-destructing too. Thankyou for commenting, much appreciated!

[I Am Svetlana]

You're welcome! And I feel in order to be okay, one just needs to take life day by day and not rush into things or think too far into the future. That's the advice my dad gives me most of the time whenever I have a bad day or a problem. Also, one shouldn't make things so complicated or think too much on something. Just simplify things and don't worry about too much at one time. Very simple rules, but no easy to develop overnight. It's just a new mindset. That's how I got through my self-harm phase and I couldn't have gotten through it or any problems in my life without my dad. He may not be the biggest supporter at some points in my life, but he sure as hell understands me way better than anyone else in my family.

[1Disawsum]

I'm glad you have your dad with you! He seems someone to be well respected with! Thanks for the new mindset, I'll try living off by what you said! Thanks!

[I Am Svetlana]

You're welcome :) I'm always here to help!

[1Disawsum]

thanks :) appreciated xx