Ledge of Forever

The lion of the night lets out a roar

and a zap of radiant current squiggles to the ground,

cutting through blackness.

 

In that illuminated moment I catch your face

streaked with rain and tears

I know our journey is commencing.

 

Your hand finds mine through the midnight curtain

and we wobble to the ledge.

 

I'm ready

 

The whisper stretches through the cotton air,

from whose lips, I am unsure.

 

But we lock our hands tighter,

lace our hearts together with eternity,

 

and jump.

Author's Note

Suggestions?

Reviews

[r. f. jordan]

this is an excellent piece with emotional layers that reflect the talent within the poet. if you are seeking suggestions, then let me state what i would do if this were a piece of mine that i were editing. i would lose the "and" off line six, and split the lines into short stanzas. 3-3-2-1-2-2-1, that is how i'd split the lines. please feel free to reject all of these ideas as writer, but i find such stanza work adds to the suspense as i read it. either way, the poem has riveting ideas all over it. the last five lines are phenomenal. thanks for sharing your talent on this site.

[Jade-UH]

I love it. It's almost like more than a simple commitment when they jump. So beautiful.

[brigid]

really enjoyed this poem,,,,,your hand finds mine through the midnight curtain....is very descriptive and evocative. i really like the free form expression...nice one.

[MOON]

Good write , jump into the abyss.

[Empirik]

Yah, leave it open. I like it. :)

[Distant horizons]

Nice twist.