Chapter 8 - Autumn of 2019

Marco was playing the daily New York Times puzzles when Juniper came home with a large beanie and an avoidance for eye contact. She made straight for her room without saying hello. 

“Wait, hang on, Junie. What’s up with the hat?” Her father asked. “Is that even yours? I’ve never seen it before.”

The girl made a slow 180 to face him. “Hmm?”

”Did you change your hair?”

She removed the garment sheepishly. Her bangs were almost entirely gone, except for two symmetrical chunks of hair that hung down like vampire fangs.  The rest of her head had been shaved down much shorter, except for, of course, her two raccoon tails which had seemingly been re-bleached and toned. Her eyes examined the floor as she rocked from heel to toe.

”You know that you aren’t in trouble, right?” Asked Marco. “I don’t care what you do with your hair.”

”Really?”

”No yeah, it looks neat. Very…alternative? Is that the proper word?”

”Sure, I guess. Some people are very particular about being just one style. Emo, goth, lolita, punk, whatever. I don’t care much for pinning myself down to one specific way of dressing. I dress the way I do ‘cause it looks awesome, but there are a lot of ways to look awesome. You know?”

”I guess, yeah,” Marco nodded. “Just don’t get lice from wearing some random person’s hat.”

”I know dad. I’m just borrowing it from Nancy.”

”That’s nice of her. I would really love to meet your friends sometime.”

“Yeah, they’re cool.” Juniper tossed the hat around her finger. I’m just surprised that you aren’t angry about it. Mom would have been so mad.”

”Was…” Marco chose his words carefully. “Is that why you’re here now? Because Roxane didn’t like the way you look?”

”I suppose. I guess it’s just exhausting being kind of afraid all the time. You know what I mean.”

“I do know what you mean.” Marco went quiet. ”Does she hit you?”

”Mom? No, not that much anymore. So yeah, I guess, but not often.” 

“But she still does?”

”Sure, sometimes.”

“Should I get involved?”

”No, dad. Respectfully, that would make everything worse. And it isn’t even that bad. She’s nice most of the time.”

”You just don’t know when she’ll snap next.”

”Yeah.”

A sigh escaped Marco’s chest. “I’m sorry.”

”Yeah.” Juniper returned to her room. Marco leaned on the kitchen counter, feeling like he’d said something wrong. He was stuck in a constant state of guessing if what he was doing was offensive or irritating. It was as if every other person had a life instruction manual, and all he could make was his best guess as to what was normal. Marco’s phone rang in his pocket. It was his girlfriend calling.

”Hello-o,” he greeted in a sing-songy manner.

”Hi.” She said, sounding as if she was holding back tears. 

Marco changed his tone immediately. “Hey�"uhh, what’s going on.”

Lexi took a shaky breath. “I just spoke to my mom,” she uttered. “My father passed away earlier this afternoon.” 

“Oh. Oh my god. Would you like company? Do you want me over there?”

At a level no higher than a whisper, she said, ”Yeah.”

Juniper peered out of her room to see what such a fuss was being made of. Her dad was almost out the door before she could even ask what was going on. 

“I need to go. Like, right now.”

”Where,” she asked. “Where do you think you’re departing so quickly?”

”I-I’ll email you about it later. I love you, goodbye.”

”What?” 

Marco couldn’t be halted any longer. He strode down the street with a bag hanging over his shoulder and a sense of urgency that Juniper had never seen in him before. It was eerie. 

The apartment was spotless when Marco arrived. Absolutely and completely free of any sort of dust or clutter. There was not one item out of place, even by a hair. Marco couldn’t spot where Lexi had gone until he heard the soft shuffle of fabric coming from her bedroom. She had about a week’s worth of folded clothing laid out in rows on the bed. The woman looked up as if she hadn’t noticed her partner standing in the doorway.

”I did a bunch of laundry,” she said.

”Yeah, I can tell. This might be an idiot’s question, but how are you?”

”Manic.”

”Have you eaten in a while?”

”Kind of.”

”If you’re hungry, I’ve got some leftover pasta salad from the other day, or I could maybe make you something, or order something.” 

“I don’t know.”

“I could cook up a grilled cheese sandwich real quick,” Marco said. “Ima go do that.”

Lexi followed him into the kitchen. “I’m totally gonna forget something and my flight is only tomorrow morning.”

”Do you know what kind of hotel you’re staying at? ‘Cause some of them will give you toiletries and stuff for free or at least cheap, ‘cause they know people forget to pack stuff.”

”I think it’s a Best Western Plus.”

”Yeah they seem like they would do that. I mean, it’s gotta be a little nicer if it’s got “plus” in the name right?”

Lexi was not entertained by the dry attempt for humor. 

Marco nodded in sudden self awareness. “Sorry, I can shut up.” 

The crispy, golden brown sandwich on her plate stared up at Lexi, and she stared back down. It looked delicious. 

“Are you not hungry?”

”I dunno. Not really.” She placed her head in her hands. “I feel kind of nauseous, but not like I would actually vomit.” 

“Sure. I maybe know a smaller, less intense version of what you’re feeling”

“Everybody keeps telling me that. They say “Alexandra, you’re so strong. I can’t imagine what you must be going through”. To be honest, you probably could. I feel kind of… empty I guess. Other than that I’m fine.” 

“You don’t have to be fine, you know. You can break down and cry. Nobody should make you feel like you have to hold yourself together like that.”

At that, Lexi’s neutral visage crumpled into one of quite some anguish and fear. Tears pooled up in her eyes, and she made no effort to fight them back.  

“He’s not actually dead. That isn’t possible.”

Marco gazed down at his hands folded in front of him. “Okay.”

“There isn’t any world where he could be gone right now. If I called him, he would pick up.” 

“Would he have his ringer on?”

She sniffled. ”Probably not. He never does.” Lexi’s head fell to her arms. “God, I sound stupid. I know he’s dead, but somehow, part of me doesn’t.” The woman in mourning sat up straight again and pulled comblike fingers through her long, wet hair. She fixed the headband that pulled back her face-framing layers. Her hair was shiny from being freshly washed. If Marco didn’t know what pain she was in, he never would have guessed by her physical appearance, or the state of her home. 

”What time is your flight tomorrow?”

”Leaves at 9:30, so I should be at the airport by 7:30 at the latest.”

”Do you want to go through what you’ve packed so far?”

”No. I know that I have what I need, and nothing else really matters.”

”Are you planning on taking food with you?”

”I’m only traveling from here to Michigan, so the flight isn’t gonna be that long. It wouldn’t be nessicary.”

Marco knew he was bad at consoling people. Lucien and Clive weren’t much help either. They gave him weak suggestions and shrugs of unsurness. 

“I feel like small talk is a bad idea, but non-small talk would be bad too,” said Clive. “And silence isn’t great either.”

”Perhaps play some music. Jazz or something,” Lucien suggested.

”Or just ask what she wants to do.”

”But that leaves a lot of decision on the table for her to make.”

Lexi flicked the cross pendant around its silver chain on her neck. “I still need to put all my things into the suitcase.”

”I can do that.”

”No, I have a system.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Just… stick around as long as you can. I know you have your daughter at home, so,”

”Juniper? She’s a smart kid. She’ll be fine. If she has a problem she’ll let me know, or go bug the neighbor.”

“So you’re staying over?”

”If you would want me to.”

There was quiet for a moment. ”I would like that. Thank you.”

Lexi continued packing the suitcase in an orderly fashion, and her partner continued tackling the weekly crossword puzzle. They didn’t speak much, aside from Marco looking for words. 

“Eleven letters. “Apothecary's cure for a sore throat, for one”. There’s two A’s back to back, and an H somewhere in there.”

”Lemme see.”

Marco showed her the screen. 

“Try “tea and honey”, maybe.”

“Wait, that's really good,” he said as he filled the boxes in. “Oh my stars, I think you got it.” Marco got a notification that he had received an email with the subject “Where”

”With grlfrnd. Death in her famly thsi aftrnoon.”

”Oh k. When back?”

”Tmr. Do u need anythng?”

”no. is she ok”

”ish. Not tremendus”

”k. Tell her i say hi”

”wil do. I love u. Sleep good. lmk if u need smthn.”

”k ya ily bye”

”yup bye”

Night passed through, slow and dark. Lexi seemed to fall in and out of a dazed and mindless state. Her eyes dissolved the room surrounding her as she became lost in thought and worry. The woman’s mind spun like a middle school debate club. There was very little reason, just noise and frustration. Thoughts bounced around too fast to catch and too loud to hear what was being said. None were useful. They all just filled up a space that had been left behind. 

Reviews

[RomaJ]

The chapter has emotional depth and vulnerability -- Marco navigates Juniper’s independence and Lexi’s grief -- mundane tasks contrast with heavy emotional weight -- subtle gestures of care feel natural.