[The dream of peace returns to dust]

[The dream of peace returns to dust]

 

The dream of peace returns to dust --

And promise slowly dies --

A plainer picture never was --

A sadder be there none --

No hopeful words remain to say --

As all avert their eyes --

Yet still the Earth revolves its way --

Around a shining sun.

Reviews

[Fire Mage Andrea]

I love this poem - and the images it brings to mind, especially of the Earth revolving around the shining sun.

[Firestone Feinberg]

Thanks so much for your warm words. --FF

[waif]

Hey David, I do tend to feel some sense of understanding when I visit your page. You have a way of condensing a feeling into something measurable when it doesn't feel so much so internally. I think the surprise in your rhyme scheme works quite well to underline the loss of peace, or that empty feeling that can descend sometimes. How we can just feel off. Really enjoyed this. Hope you're well..

[Firestone Feinberg]

Thank you Sylvie for your warm and thoughtful words. I'm glad you got something from the poem. I am well -- thank you. And hope all is well with you too. --David

[Great Aunt Astri]

Sad, but true... thank you for your thoughtful poem.

[Firestone Feinberg]

Thank you for reviewing. --David

[John]

I think the rhyming scheme works very well. ABAB often feels too predictable and can quash any surprise in a poem. Here, when we might expect the final word in stanza 1 to rhyme with 'dies', we instead have to deal with the absolute nullity of 'none'. When its rhyme 'eyes' arrives in the stanza 11 it suggests a continuity with the first stanza and leads us out of this state of hopelessness. From our own local difficulty we can find reassurance in the glory of impersonal nature as represented by the Sun.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

people can't find peace, nature does...and when we are all gone, the earth will remain under the sun and there will be an eerie quiet.

[bobc]

D...wondering if you were, in fact, aiming at a rhyme scheme. That wording in fourth line in the first stanza feels very awkward. I presume you are trying got say there weren't any sadder pictures either. Yes? Was the wording you chose to keep a rhyme between that line and the fourth of the second stanza? Just wondering...bobc

[Firestone Feinberg]

yes. if you read it aloud your ear will hear the rhymes

[bobc]

Not sure it's working in this one. May be just me. Thanx...bobc