Torn

The mystery that is me...

An intention of second chances

Never mind the circumstances

My neglected pen desires truth…

 

Time has been used otherwise

As a lost passion came to rise

Now, a lonely soul torn between…

 

When a beloved song’s tortured words

With aspiration and inspiration skyward

Paint a picture instead of a story…..

Reviews

[Victorious]

Dear Aianarie,

This line reads a bit forced and out of place, "With aspiration and inspiration skyward." Other than that, I really enjoyed the rhythm in this piece and I have to say my favorite line is the last one because it is thought provoking. I also favor the first stanza a lot because it shows me an inner thirst for a voice longing to be heard.

Thanks for sharing!

Sincerely Victorious

God bless

[Me]

this is wonderfully penned straight from the heart!

[Illuminare]

Great emotion. You managed to fit so much into nine lines of gorgeous poetry!

[ravenjess]

wow, this is amazing! i can totally imagine this being studied in literature classes or something....

[Jetta Zippora]

The complexity is glorious and heart wrenching. Very, very well written, friend.

[Bridget Murphy]

Love it!!!!! It almost made me cry. I truly admire this work! Keep it up!!!
~BM

[zachf]

Wow! I have no idea how you are able to portray such emotion and a full story into so few of lines! I want to rate it about 120 out of 100 but it won't let you.

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Beautiful, deep, great metrica =D