Blue Kufi

Poem of thanksgiving

The sun rises

I thank Allah for the day to come

The sun sits high

I thank Allah for the gifts of the day

The sun sinks low

I thank Allah for the day that was

The moon appears

I thank Allah for the moments of rest

Author's Note

Let me know what you think

Reviews

[consistentwritin]

A nice read!

I'm guessing your Muslim?

One thing: your poem sounds like it's straight out of the Koran. You could make it a little more personal by adding one line before every "I thank Allah".

For example:

The sun rises
I am off to work
I thank Allah for the day to come

The sun sits high
My prayer is on it's way
I thank Allah for the gifts of the day

The sun sinks low
A meal is there for me
I thank Allah for the day that was

The moon appears
The sandman I shall see
I thank Allah for the moments of rest


Also, you could make the extra lines have a similar rhyme structure. Hope this helped.

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

Thank you consistent you have been a great help I will keep your critique in mind for future poems.