Love At The Brink

Dare a love at the brink

Retrace its path, blindfold?

As a plucky rose blossoms

Defying mud and mould

Deeply scented and strong

Its royal bloom ten-fold 

As a ship sans its admiral

Plundered of all its gold 

Still battles its way to shore

Through a molten, cauldron sea

Of fiery tempests untold  

Dare a love at the brink

Retrace its path, blindfold?

Back to a culprit heart

Some happy ghosts to slay   

Some illusions to uphold

Author's Note

Thanks for looking in :)

Reviews

[JMichael]

I looked in, Pestonjee, and your piece lives up to my name! It reads like another selectively worded poem; a piece constructed from a list of words given; and they read wonderfully well. There are some difficult words chosen yet you have placed them extremely well in your narrative. Love at the brink, huh? Well....for me there is no looking back. Only forwards. Any ghosts of the past have already been slayed. Though, for most poets here, delving in the past is becoming more important than living in the present. The places people go for inspiration, i guess. This was a well constructed piece. Experiment successful in my humble opinion! Well Done!

[AJNJ]

Thanks a ton Brilliance! And maybe I should mention 'Experimental' in my author's note as some poets here are wont to do eh ;)?
Tried my best to create a poem out of a jumble of words a friend mailed me and I'm glad you appreciate. Many thanks again and I hope to read you too :)

[barleygirl]

I probably didn't review this before becuz I saw the bolded words & recognized this as a 10-word challenge, which I hate. Your writing is so strong & original & well-expressed, you do not need a flimsy device to help you say something worth reading. But some people insist on using this helpful crutch, so I just say, why advertise it? I don't make my readers sit thru whatever bullshit I need to get my mojo going. I just get to the crux of what I'm sharing & that's what you should do becuz those 10 words mean absolutely NOTHING to the reader. Sorry for my 10-word rant. Just a pet peeve, nothing against you. I realize lots of writers find it helpful to have words they're trying to use & I do something in a similar vein when I rhyme obsessively (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[AJNJ]

Thanks a ton, Ms. Barley! My reason for trying these challenges is only to test my capacity to get some meaning out of random words. I get your point absolutely about us not needing crutches for inspiration. Your thoughts and feedback are always so welcome. Hugs back at you and wishes for a great weekend! 🤗🌹

[Lacey Sue]

I love how you put some of those words in bold print and it was very phenomenal.

[AJNJ]

Thank you very much Hazel Clark :)

[Lacey Sue]

Anytime I hope to read more like it

[¿]

Wow Jee, you seem to be stealing my thought of the day! This love and its split souls shall be cut off and left on their way. Like chopping off the split ends to let rest of the hair survive. It can be a coincidence that your poem matches with every bit of a situation which I've witnessed for a long time, gladly it has ended.
One's hands get dirty while hitting mud on another. Instead of continuing that I believe in conclusions. Thanks many thanks for writing this. And to Jamila too, wonder what has driven her to leave this site.

[AJNJ]

Hey Tahsin! Love your review. You always come up with unique insight on any stuff I write and I really get bowled over. Sorry for the late response, I was away at a friend's all weekend and just returned home today morning. A good time was had ;)
Jamila is in touch with me by mails. I guess some ppl just dont get used to the s**t that some ppl smear on others on this site. An indian lady (you can try guess who) made some personal attacks on her and Jamila being the intellectual she is, found it below her dignity to stick around. This site doesnt deserve her brilliance I guess.
Thanks a ton for your great review my dearmost friend.

[AJNJ]

Btw...write something new for me. I'm bored...Mail me the link when you're done posting.

[¿]

I don't know how to react on this! I've seen many brilliant writers closing their accounts just after getting fed up of the bullies and attacks. I respect Jamila's decision and stilk hope she can come back with her writing that's more and more worthy than the penniless trolls.
You're definitely welcome Jee, and I hope to grab my pen again! Be blessed🍀

[Papaya]

I like this, it feels like love has persevered through the hardship faced.

[AJNJ]

Thanks you very much Ms. Ana 🤗 Great to see you!

[Papaya]

Welcome. :)

[John the Baptist]

This one has excellent rhyming and a lot of vivid imagery. Not totally sure what the brink represents. Is it that reluctance that presents at the last minute to keep us from committing? Or is it an intuition that keeps us from becoming involved with the wrong person? I think the poem works, either way.

[AJNJ]

Thanks a ton dear sir. It's great to come back to such appreciation from you.
By the brink here, I pictured a love that's almost on the verge of death or perhaps damaged almost beyond repair, so almost is the key word here and I wonder if it can retrace its path or be salvaged some way. Though in my view such love is often revived for the wrong reasons.
Here's wishing you a great weekend!

[Neville]

I reckon you deserve a medal mate and ya friend needs locking up ... on a more serious note, I think you are so much braver than me, my nib would surely turn to jelly under such testing circumstances as you outline..

A poem to be proud of PJ and truly :)

[AJNJ]

A true taskmaster she is!
Thanks a ton and more dear sir! Your encouragement means very much to me 🤗

[Neville]

welcome & true :)

[Chris Shaw]

I like the fact that you have created this poem out of a jumble of words sent to you by a friend. You were truly inspired. Some things survive against all the odds. That always interests me. When the chips are down and it can go either way, and yet the positive pathway is found and taken.

A meaningful and skilled write.


Chris

[AJNJ]

Thanks a ton, my friend! I'll treasure your feedback here always! Wishing you a beautiful day & weekend!

[Jimmy Yetts]

A more than well-met challenge.
Not easy to put another's random words together in such a way that they communicate
something unique. Words must be carefully woven and resulting coordinated thoughts
cannot express the merely trite.
Kudos, P, you've created an amazing poem!

[AJNJ]

I'll treasure this review sir! Thanks a ton and more! 🤗

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Wow! Who gave you these ten words sir? I'd love to know. A very interesting poem you weaved out of them. To me it felt like revisiting an old love and that is something that usually doesn't agree with me. We should never retrace lost paths. But it's just my view, meow meow!

[AJNJ]

Thanks Ms. Kat. Home quarantine and lockdowns mean we have no choice but to phone and follow old girlfriends and ex-flames haha.
Jokes aside, I just couldnt think of anything else with these ten words Jamila threw at me some days back. Thanks for visiting :) Meow meow!

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

You're most welcome my friend