After the Big Bang

Alien earths collide
The dust and debris settle
Post the rumble and roar

Oceans explode, implode
Tsunamis swell and subside
On calm, placid shores

Barbed beasts mellow
Roused less with time
Till they grapple no more

Volcanoes too gurgle
Their fire all spent
Sapid lava, coming to fore

Riveting rains recede
Rainbows roost in a sky
Charged and electric no more

Strange seasons sync up
Gleaming meadows gold
Telling bliss to softly soar

But the heart now seeks
Other thrills, other new earths
Lost,  all its ardor

Author's Note

I'd love some critique on this piece, to make it read better.

Thanks a ton! 😊

Reviews

[Mauricio Montoya]

Could play on words, love this, it's not the beginning your write makes that clear, boy I like how this piece comes together the first and second stanza caught me I had to read to find the outcome, but love the ending,lol had to because you have to live it.
Excellent write and thank you for sharing

[AJNJ]

Thanks a ton for the great review.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Good write, still enjoying the read, thank you for sharing this.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Excellent write

[Ken Simm.]

I love the structure and subject, (which is very far ranging) of this and it made me think which again is great. But the thing I found most enjoyable beside the subject was the word usage. Sapis lava for instance or seasons syncing up. Fantastic creativity.

[AJNJ]

Thanks a ton sir. I write occasionally nowadays but your comments have renewed the spark of interest.

[DIVYA]

One could relate to this poem on many levels. I thought of a relationship past its prime and looking for more exciting things, elsewhere. I really liked where you went with this.

[AJNJ]

Thanks a ton for the good review.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear AJ, longtime no see. It has been good to see DIVYA, Jamila and now you back here. Hope is all well. I am useless at critique. Some excel at it. This certainly was a big bang and I loved the imagery and energy in this piece which could be taken as a metaphor for a relationship on a dynamite collision course. After the storm comes much needed calm. Much enjoyed and best wishes.

Chris

[AJNJ]

Ms.Chris! It's been so long. Life distracts me from poetry now that the world here is opening up. Just a light attempt and no worries about critique. It's the thought that counts and your visit & comments are valued. Thanks a ton!

[John the Baptist]

A vivid description of the prologue. Wait until men arrive; then you really will see some fireworks.

[AJNJ]

Yes, I shudder to think of that. Thanks a ton sir.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I think your alliteration really propels this write.
I love the idea of the volcanoes gurgling....
and riveting rains recede, a solid paradox there.
I wonder if we are an alien planet to others...there has to be life somewhere else.

for us to think we are the only planet in the entire solar system is a bit of an ego trip.
and the way we are acting now....maybe moving to another planet could rekindle the spirit.
j.

[AJNJ]

Man should just make the best of one earth. Thanks a ton sir.

[.]

Nice to finally read you again, AJ! You spared some of your valuable partying time to give us a unique metaphor ladened perspective on the creation and journey of human relations between two loved up 'Alien Earths'. The Alien terminology is very appropriate for the coming together of two very different people. Much like the way our universe and world evolved from the Big Bang, so too does any relationship. It ebbs and flows as it evolves and powers through all manner of trials and tribulations. Time passes, love blossoms like a Spring, then love may fade in it's Autumn. Ultimately, time becomes an enemy. A fully evolved relationship can lose its intial spark as the heart begins to wander in search of another 'earth' to collide with. You have attempted a most complex metaphor and completed it bravely. A few reads and your idea becomes clear. Certainly not a poem for those without their first morning coffee! A remarkable piece, all the same. Great to read you again, my friend. I expect tons and tons and tons of thanks for this review!! ⚘

[AJNJ]

Mademoiselle,
What a great review. You know you always make my spaces brighter :) Thanks a ton for your views. Yours ever faithfully 😎💐

[Tania Mo]

So many earths floating around and colliding lol. Nice one from you.

[AJNJ]

Thanks a ton Ms. Mo. I like collisions a lot. 😎

[Tania Mo]

Tee hee 😏

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

You certainly surprised me after posting after so long. Now we see you back in action. How quickly you get bored with new earths LOL. Sincerely lovely AJ 👋😽

[AJNJ]

Thanks a ton and an ocean my itzy bitzy Kat 😎💕

[Amber Stone]

masterful poem! sincerely, Amber.

[AJNJ]

Thanks a ton Ms Amber. Soon to read you too 🙏⚘