The Flashback Time

Reading within my words
Understanding the language of my silence.
Supporting me when I messed up
Even after your many prior warnings.

You have been the relief force
After the turbulence in my life.
You stood by me
And have been my herculean.

I knew it was difficult for me
But you made it so simple.
I thought that I will wreck
Instead am standing as strong as a rock.

No matter I am 23 or 32
I will always be your little girl.
From toffee to Lipstick
You fulfilled my every wish.

You were my first real friend
An angel in form of sister.
I trust you with my secrets
More over with my life.

From the classroom Bash
To the emotional crash,
You never left me alone
No one else could be better best friends.

You heard my stories over and over again
You drag me out of my worst phase.
No words to express how I feel or what I feel
But I think you are not that dumb to not to understand.

I will never forget how much I owe you all...

Reviews

[Endeavor]

Hi! What I like about your work is that you were able to convey warm and sincere feelings for every verse, which I really find attractive.

However, there are some points which need improvement. For example, the choice of words at the second to the last stanza. From the beginning of the poem, you have used gentle and picturesque words, and then the reader would stumble upon the word "dumb". This may be a bit trivial, but it might be helpful to weave a consistent tone. Another point is towards the character that the speaker is attributing his or her words to. I got confused about who that person really is until the very end. The other things that I have noticed are just simple grammatical errors and structure consistency. Even though it is a free verse, it could sound more beautifully when read if it has a tune-like quality after all.

I hope you find these helpful. Thank you very much for sharing your work to us! :-)

[Aayushi]

Thanks for your review...and its not about one person instead about few who influenced my life and are very important to me...each stanza is dedicated to different person. its for my mother sister and friends...thanks for reading

[Endeavor]

I was truly honored to read your work. I hope I did not damp this lovely attribution. Also, thank you for replying. :)

[Stephen]

It is tribute you have given to your besty. I liked the concept. ..it's all real came from the depth of your beautiful scented heart.

Keep up the good work!

[Aayushi]

Yea actually its written for few people without whom I might not survive. Thanks for looking into the depth of it.

[Stephen]

Yeah I got that feeling of being a friend of yours. You can also be used to be a good write with the time if you don't stop writing. I have been at your blogs too..Some are very good n well penned especially the long ones. I have always loved reading your stuffs so keep writing.

[Aayushi]

Thanks...i appreciate it.